Black Hole Sun
by Dancesterx3
Summary: So, y'all wanted me to keep going, since it's National writing month, I decided to give you what you want. This is the last (and final) adventure of Emma, Ethan, Sutton, Thayer, Kendall and The new Whitehorse baby. *** I changed the title due to the plot of the story***
1. Chapter 1

Emma laid back. Her back had been hurting all night. Beside her Ethan's soft snore's filled the otherwise quiet room. She tried not letting her pain disturb her husband, but the truth is, when you're 8 months pregnant sleep was no longer an option anymore. Emma laid back against her memory foam pillows. The king size bed seemed so much smaller now. She closed her eyes thinking back to when Sutton was this pregnant, she finally realized now all of her sister's complaint's. Ethan rolled over and his hand slid across her belly. For a minute, she just laid there, but it wasn't long before a sharp pain raged through her lower back. She jolted and groaned, "Em, are you ok?" Ethan's sleepy voice broke through the silence.

Emma looked over at him, "Uhh, yeah. I'm fine." She said rolling her side. She pressed a hand to her lower back applying pressure to the achy parts of her backs. Ethan's hand replaced hers and rubbed her gently.

"Are you sure? You don't look fine." He said gently rubbing his hand in circles.

Another sharp pain struck her and she about keeled over in agony. Ethan sat up, "Honey. Are you in labor?"

His words shocked her, she hadn't even thought about labor. She shook her head, "No, it's not time yet." She said thinking about the unfurnished nursery. Even though they knew the sex of their baby, they had been lacking on the babies room. "We don't even have the crib up yet." She groaned as another pain struck her.

Ethan helped her sit up, "Come on, let's get you in the car." He said calmly. She leaned into his embrace and slowly made it down the stairs, stopping halfway to let another contraction pass. She leaned into his body and he gently rubbed her back, knowing there wasn't much he could do to soothe her pain.

Since Emma's pregnancy announcement, Ethan had traded his jeep and motorcycle for a more sensible SUV. Now he was helping his wife into the car and covering her with a blanket. The cold February morning bit through their closed garage. Ethan slowly opened the garage door and pulled out of the driveway, barely even following the traffic laws to get his wife to the hospital in time. Meanwhile, he served through the lanes of early morning commuters headed of to work, Ethan dialed his mother-in-laws number, "Ethan? Is everything okay?" Kristin's voice was quiet. It wasn't like Ethan to be calling her at 5:30 in the morning.

"Kristin, everything is fine. But Emma is in labor. We are headed to Chelsea Creek Memorial." He said into the blue tooth piece that came with his car.

On the other line, they could hear her gasp. A wave of contractions washed over Emma and she groaned, "Oh sweet heart. Keep breathing. I'm getting dressed and I'll call you when I get there. I'll call Laurel too."

"Great! I'll call Sutton, but I don't know if she'll hear her phone this early in the morning." Ethan said as he merged into the right lane, pulling into the hospital's entrance.

Sutton had just spent 20 minutes reading Kendall the same bubble guppies book. The four year had woken up three times that night complaining that her tummy was hurting. She looked at Thayer who slept soundly. She rolled her eyes. Even though it was generally Sutton that Kendall went to when she woke up in the middle of the night, it'd still be nice if daddy took over the middle of the night wakings. Her phone had ben on silent, but the bright light of her screen lit up the room. She sat up and looked at it, Ethan. She shook her head, confused, but she grabbed her phone, "Hello?" She said slowly.

"Sutton, hey I'm sorry to wake you." He said. Beside him Emma rested her head on the window clearly in agony.

"It's fine. Kendall woke me up actually." She said, "What's up? Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, it's just Emma is in labor." He said pushing open the driver's side door. He ran around the car and opened her door. She slid into his body and he held her weight.

"What?" Sutton said standing up. "Now?"

Ethan laughed, "Now. Look you don't have to come down right away. But we are at Chelsea Creek Memorial. I'll text you a room number when we get one." He said.

Sutton was already half dressed by the time he'd finished his sentence, slipping on a pair on worn Tom's. She looked at Thayer who was still sound asleep. She contemplated just letting him sleep and leaving a note on the kitchen table for the morning. "I'm on my way, Ethan. Tell her not to have the baby until I get there." She ended the call and pushed the door of her bedroom open and walked up the stairs. She wanted to bring Kendall along, but decided it was better to let her sleep. She pushed her daughter's door open. The room was cold, the soft whir of the overhead fan was the only noise aside from Kendall's soft breathing. She looked at her own baby, remembering back to the night when she went into labor with her. She couldn't believe that four years had passed by already. She sat on the floor beside her sleeping kid. She pushed the long brown hair off of Kendall's face and pressed a kiss to her nose. She sat in that moment for a while drinking in the innocence. Not even an hour ago, Sutton wanted to strangle her daughter, "More milk, mommy." she complained, "Read one more story mommy. Cuddle with me mommy." she had cried a few crocodile tears but it killed Sutton every time. She suddenly missed those middle of the night nursing sessions, rocking an overly tired infant back to sleep. She felt like she had taken those moments for granted, still being so young and self-absorbed. She kissed her daughter again and stood up, "Sweet dreams my love." She said quietly as she slipped from the dark room to the light of the hallway and down the stairs. She grabbed the coffee cup shaped note pad from the fridge in the kitchen and jotted down her note for Thayer. Then she slipped back into her room, grabbed her purse and her keys, kissed Thayer's temple and whispered, "I want another baby." Before she slipped out of the house and into the cold dark night.

Sutton pulled her car into the only empty space she could find. She ran into the hospital and down the hallway. She drew in a sigh of relief when she saw Kristin. "Mommy!" she said. The hospital was pretty empty, at least on the maternity ward, Kristin and Laurel sat in an empty waiting room. Laurel was half awake, her head rest in her hands.

Kristin stood up and wrapped her arms around Sutton, "Oh baby, you're here!" She said giving Sutton a squeeze.

"Where is she?" The 22 year old asked looking around the room for Ethan.

"Room 219. I think they have her resting now. But she's doing well." She said turning on her heel. She ran back down the hallway for the room. When she saw it she pushed open the door. Emma looked up at her and smiled. "Hey, you." Sutton said smiling, "I heard your having a baby." She said moving to the side of her sister's bed.

Emma reached up for her twin's hand, remembering the desperate connection Sutton had wanted when she was pregnant. She wrapped her fingers around her sisters, "It hurts." she moaned.

Sutton smiled and nodded, "It hurt's like hell, but it's so worth it, I promise."

Emma looked at Sutton, "how did you make it through this?"

Sutton shook her head, "Sheer will power and love for my daughter. And you'll get through it too, because the moment you see that babies sweet face, it will all be worth it." She said squeezing her hand.

Emma closed her eyes as another contraction washed over her. Hours passed by before anything major happened, but it seemed like a mix of pain and boredom for Emma who was taking this child birthing way worse than Sutton had. Though, Emma had decided to forgo an epidural when Sutton practically demanded it upon arrival. By mid-afternoon, Alec, Rebecca, Thayer, Mads and Kendall had all showed up to witness the birth just as they had for Sutton four years ago. When the doctor came in the room announcing that it was time for Emma to start pushing, panic washed over. She looked to her sister for guidance and support. Sutton sat by her side, coaching her and telling her that she could do it. On the other side, Ethan too held her hand and brushed the sweaty hairs off her face.

It felt like Emma pushed for hours, only for the room to silence with a scream. A sweet, screaming newborn that Emma had just brought into the world was looking back at her. Emma relaxed and looked at Sutton, "Thank you." She said breathlessly. Then she looked at Ethan, "We did it. We made a baby." she said.

"We made a beautiful baby." He said kissing her lips. It was a little while before the tiny baby, wrapped in a blanket and a cap, was placed in Emma's arms. She looked down at the baby and then back at Ethan, "Ryleigh Nicole Whitehorse." she said simply. The name they'd chosen for their daughter a month ago.

She was so tiny. Ethan looked at the baby, still unable to fathom that this was his baby. He'd created her and she would forever call him daddy. His finger lightly brushed across the babies soft cheek, "Happy birthday, Ryleigh." He said softly, "I love you."

Emma looked at Ethan. The look in his eye said that Ryleigh was going to be a daddy's little girl. She never had a daddy growing up, and the only wish she had for her daughter aside from sound health and happiness was for her to get to be in her father's life. She kissed her daughter's nose, "Happy birthday indeed." She said smiling.


	2. My So-Called Life

Emma's back was killing it her and she'd just sat down. But it was short lived before Ryleigh's screams could be heard from across the house. It was middle Wednesday afternoon and she had been alone with Ryleigh since Ethan had been back at work that week. It was easier when he'd been home to help around the house. Their tag team efforts seemed to keep a sane flow but now that he was back at work, dishes and bottles piled unwashed in the sink, loads of laundry backed up in the laundry room and Ryleigh wasn't letting Emma put her down long enough to get anything done and even when Ryleigh fell asleep long enough for Emma to do anything all she wanted to do was sleep. She hadn't gotten a full night's sleep since months before Ryleigh was born and she was always tired. She wanted to scream. She hadn't dealt with needy newborns even after Savannah was born.

She groaned at the sound of the babies cries. She dragged her feet back up the stairs and into the babies room. The minute the newborn saw her mom she stopped crying. Emma's heart sank in guilt when she looked at the tears in her daughter's eyes, "Oh honey, I'm right here." She said in a soft voice. Emma bent over the railing of the crib and lifted the baby onto her shoulder. She moved the infant to the changing table in the corner of the room. She'd found an amazing changing table the was placed in the corner of the room and allowed the baby to lay in front of the parent changing the diaper instead of sideways and made diaper changing so much easier for her. She checked the babies diaper but found it to be dry. She lifted the baby and rested her against her chest. The baby made a soft cooing sound and put her fingers in her mouth.

Downstairs, Emma tried to get the laundry done but her loss of an arm due to a sleeping baby has made it difficult. Emma laid the baby in the same baby swing Sutton had for Kendall. The second she walked away, Ryleigh's screams filled the air. Emma groaned, knowing the baby was safe in her swing, she decided to let her cry in order to get something done before Ethan got home. After an hour of rocking Ryleigh in the downstairs glider, she was finally out cold and Emma decided to lay her in the pack and play.

It wasn't much longer when evening began setting in and the smell of pasta filled the air. Ryleigh had been sleeping for a few hours and Emma was able to finish the laundry and start dinner when Ethan opened the door to the garage that connected to the kitchen, "Well hello my beautiful love." He said kissing her from behind. Emma smiled against his lips and when he pulled away he drew in a deep breath, "homemade pasta?"

"homemade pumpkin ravioli in alfredo sauce. I saw a recipe online and thought you'd like it." She said. She'd grown a love for cooking when she'd lived with Sutton. Though most things she'd enjoyed cooking was rarely ever touched by the lips of a toddler.

Ethan smiled, "Damn, I got a gorgeous daughter and a beautiful wife who loves to cook, how did I luck out?" He said kissing her temple. She smiled as she stirred the alfredo sauce. Ethan looked around, "Where is my gorgeous daughter?"

"Sleeping. Please don't wake her." Emma begged, knowing her overly tired newborn would only cry if she was woken up prematurely.

Ethan walked out to the pack and play set in the living room. He peered over the mesh netting at the toddler asleep in her bed. the baby was sound asleep on her back, her arms raised over her head and her legs bowed like little frog legs. He smiled at the peaceful look on her face. He walked back into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge. "How was your day?" He asked popping the lid off the bottle.

She sighed and grabbed some plates from the cabinet next to the oven. "It was stressful. I tried getting as much laundry as I could in the little time I had not carrying Ry around. It's like she's attached to my hip 24 seven." She said plating some ravioli on the plates and bringing them to the bar where Ethan sat. "I don't know what to do? My arm gets tired of holding her and I can't get everything I need to do done when she wants to be held all day."

Ethan took a bite of the ravioli, "Just let her cry, if you know she's safe and fed and doesn't need a new diaper then laying her in her swing is perfectly fine." He said reaching over for her hand.

She looked at him knowing he was right. But if it was okay then why did she feel so guilty leaving her there to cry? She sighed and looked down, "I know." She said quietly.

"Just one more story, mommy?" Kendall's blue eyes pouted. Sutton had just finished reading her three stories and it was almost 9:30. By this time, Kendall was usually fast asleep and she was able to relax, catch up on her favorite shows and have the night to herself, but tonight Sutton had struggled with Kendall to get her to sleep. She'd already read her three books, took her to the bathroom and tucked her in. But all that was an hour ago. She was settling into a new episode of Castle when her four year old poked her head around the corner, blanket in one arm and baby doll in the other. Sutton sighed, lifted the little girl and took her upstairs.

"Back to bed." She told her firmly. But those words only brought tears to the toddler's eyes.

Kendall kicked her bare feet, "No no no no no mommy!" she cried. "I don't wanna go to sleep!" she protested.

Sutton stopped and looked at the girl. Her patience was wearing thin and she was about ready to strangle her daughter, "You do not kick mommy, Kendall. Now you are going to bed." She said as she continued back up the stairs. The one night that Thayer had gone out for the evening was the night that Kendall chose to have the meltdown of the century. Sutton pushed open the door to Kendall's room. Her blanket was tossed onto the ground and her dolls scattered across the bed. Sutton threw down the crying child and picked up the blanket, "Lay down, go to bed and stay in bed." she said wagging her finger in front of Kendall's face. Her daughter's eyes were bright red, tears stained her cheeks. She looked helplessly up at her mother and for a quick second, Sutton wanted to wrap Kendall in her arms, hug her, cuddle her, and tell her that it was okay. But the truth was, it wasn't okay. She couldn't teach her daughter that crying would give her anything she wanted.

"Just one more story, mommy?" She pouted.

Sutton looked down at her, "No more stories. You had three stories, some milk, you went potty. Now go to bed." She said firmly. Sutton kissed her daughter, reassuring her that she loved her and that she was safe, but this behavior wasn't tolerated.

She turned out her light allowing the glow of her daughter's hot pink flower night light fill the room. She closed the door, silencing her little girls screams. She closed the baby gate that she knew Kendall couldn't open and headed down the stairs. She grabbed a wine glass from the cupboard and poured herself a glass of white wine before returning back to her episode of Castle.

When the episode ended, silence filled the house. Sutton sat up, _she must have fallen asleep. _She thought. She sat up and crept up the stairs. The hallway was silent and she pushed Kendall's door open slowly. She peeked in at the little girl. She'd kicked most of her dolls off her bed in her tantrum and her blanket was scattered on the floor. But now she was sound asleep, her breaths were deep and quick, a soft airy nose with each exhale she made. Sutton smiled, after all of that fighting to get her to sleep, now that she was finally out for the night, there was nothing sweeter or cuter than that little girl sleeping sweetly. She reached for her daughter's blanket and laid it over her tiny body. Then she pushed back the hairs that matted to her face and kissed her forehead. Kendall stirred, drawing a deep breath but not waking. Sutton crept out of her daughter's room and gently closed the door behind her.

Emma had just finished putting another fresh diaper on Ryleigh and was zipping up her onesie pajama's she'd inherited from Sutton when her phone lit up with a new Snapchat. She lifted her daughter up and grabbed her phone, "Let's see what sissy's sent us." Emma said as she opened the picture. It was her smiling ten year old, her brown hair was wet and her smile exposed her new set of braces. The tag said: Good Night Mommy! Xoxo! Emma smiled and closed the phone. She prepared to feed her daughter and when she'd finally laid the sleeping newborn in her pink owl themed crib, she grabbed her phone and returned Savannah's snapchat with a picture of the tiny baby sleeping soundly. Good night big sissy! Love You, RyRy and Mommy. Emma's heart pulled. She was still working out the legal details with her father to have joint custody of Savannah, but he was still being a douche about it and not wanting Emma have anything to do with her daughter.

Downstairs, Ethan was finishing the cleaning and she met him in the kitchen. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, drawing in the smell of the Tide laundry detergent in his white V-Neck tee. He brought up his hands and rested them on Emma's arms. She rested her head on his back, "I am so ready for bed." She grumbled against his back. He spun around and pulled her into his arms, he pressed his lips to hers. She pulled back, "On second thought, I'm good." She said returning to the kiss. When she pulled back eventually, she laced her fingers in her husbands and pulled him to the living room. "Come. Tell me about your day." he said eager to hear about something other than babies, napping and popular breast-feeding techniques. They sat on the couch and she cuddled into him and pulled a large plush blanket over them.


	3. Baby Envy

"Mommy, Can I holds Rywee?" Kendall asked the second she stepped into Emma's house. It was mid-morning on Wednesday when Sutton had planned a shopping trip with her twin.

Sutton put her hand on her preschooler's shoulder, "Honey, not now. We are getting ready to go to the mall." She said as she hugged Emma. She barely even recognized the baby she was holding. But she looked down at Ryleigh who slept so sweetly in her sister's arms. "Oh my god, Em. Stop feeding her, she's getting so big!"

"I know. She's double her size since she was born. She's barely over a month old and she's in 2 month old clothes." She said looking down at her baby, "Will you hold her so I can get my shoes on?"

Sutton looked at Emma like she was crazy, "Please! Pass her over!" She said jumping on the opportunity. Emma smiled and slipped the baby as smoothly as she could into her twins arm. Ryleigh's little eyes fluttered open and Sutton was sucked into her deep brown eyes. "I miss this!" She said gently rubbing Ryleigh's tender cheeks.

Emma looked up from the floor as she slid her combat boot on. "You sure? You miss those late night cries, needing to be changed or fed or just held for the sake of bothering mommy at 4 in the morning? You miss not being able to do anything because your constantly holding a fussy baby who won't let you put her down for two seconds while you do the dishes or finish the laundry? You miss that?"

Sutton shook her head, "I miss that new baby smell. The look on her face as she peacefully falls asleep in your arms. I miss watching her grow from an infant to crawling to taking her first steps. Of course I don't miss the tough parts of infancy, but that's part of being a mom, Emma. There are tough parts to raising a four year old, but then I look at her when she says those silly things. When she tells me that McDonalds gets their movie related themes from the theaters because they make too many and have to give them to McDonalds. Sure, she has her moments but she's genuinely a good kid and I know 4 years from now I'm going to miss these days too."

Emma looked at her own baby. Sutton had four years of motherhood to her month. She looked up at her twin, "I smell baby envy, you're not thinking about another are you?"

Sutton blushed, "I don't know. I mean going through this with you makes me miss those days with Kendall when she was a baby. I was so young back then, I feel like I really missed out on a lot. I was scared that any little thing I did would hurt her or be bad for her. I was selfish, too. All those nights when she cried four or fives times throughout the night. Early mornings. Now, I worry if she's not up by 8:30. Plus she needs a little sibling. I think Thayer would like to experience that infancy stage as well. But I don't know, we haven't talked about it or anything." She looked back down at Ryleigh. It was strange just how much she resembled Kendall when she was that little, yet she looked uniquely like her father. "How's Ethan taking to all of this?"

Emma stood up and grabbed Ryleigh's car seat from the living room, "Eh, he's taking to it fine. I think for the first few weeks he wasn't quite sure what to do. But he comes home and immediately goes to her. I'm lucky if I get a kiss hello before he's got her in his arms." She laughed and shook her head at the thought. "I think she's going to be a daddy's girl. In a way, I kinda want that. I never had a dad… Or a mom for that matter, so I would like to have a strong bond with my daughter."

Sutton nodded, knowing exactly how Emma felt, "I try really hard to keep a good relationship with Kendall. I know she's only four so for now I'm her best friend, but she starts school next year and I know that that will be the end of everything I've known for as long as she's been alive."

Emma shook her head, "I can't believe she's going to kindergarten in less than a year. Where has the time gone?"

Sutton shrugged, "You're telling me. I remember when Kendall was still this little." She looked down at her daughter who was patiently waiting for them to get their act together so they could leave. She looked back at her sister, passing her back her daughter. "Now she's a big girl."

Emma grabbed her keys, "do you need to get Kenzie's booster?" She asked as they filed out of the house.

"Oh yeah. I'll grab it and we can take your car. It'll be easier to get her booster in your car than to get Ryleigh's car seat in mine." She said as Kendall pushed past her mother and ran out into the fresh cut grass, "Hey missy!" Sutton called out after her. Kendall stopped suddenly and swung around looking back at her mom, "Don't go out in the road ok?" She warned.

Kendall smiled, "I won't." She said then bent down and picked a fresh daisy out of the ground and ran back to her mom, "Mommy!" she said proudly, "I picked a flower."

Sutton looked down at the flower from her daughter. The roots were still attached and dangled from the bottom, "Thank you baby girl" She grabbed the flower, "Come on and get in Auntie Emma's car. Let's show cousin Ryleigh how big girls ride in the car." She said hel[ing her daughter into the booster seat. Once Kendall was safely strapped in with her kindle and sippy cup of juice, Sutton slammed the door and slipped into the passenger's seat just as Emma slipped into the driver's seat.

The heat of the car made Ryleigh cry and Emma turned the ignition on letting the AC blast to the backseat. "I know pumpkin." SHe said soothingly, "It's coming baby, just hold on." Then she looked at Sutton, "Remember the days when going to the mall didn't require packing bags of diapers and snacks and making sure little ones weren't sweating to death. When we could just get in the car and go?"

Sutton nodded, "Those were the days." She said looking out the window as they drove.


	4. One Potato, Two Potato

The mall was particularly empty when they arrived. Mostly stay-at-home moms like Emma and Sutton pushed large strollers in and out of stores talking with their girlfriends while their kids slept in the strollers or tagged alongside their moms. The smell of pretzels and chinese food filled the hallways and the sound of a fountain echoed from downstairs. "Momma, can I have a pwetzel?" Kendall asked tugging on Sutton's hand.

"Not yet. You know we will get pretzels before we leave. We need to eat lunch first." Sutton said sternly but giving her daughter a smile.

Kendall peered into the small stroller Emma pushed and looked at the sleeping infant. "We gets pwetzels before we leab, ok?" Then she looked up, "Momma can I get a toy?" Her eyes sparkled up into her moms and she let her bottom lip pout ever so slightly. Sutton knew that face all too well.

"We'll see, baby." Sutton said lifting her daughter up and settling her on her lap. The girls headed into one of the first stores for kids clothes. Emma stopped almost immediately at a rack of infant dresses and Sutton kept going deeper into the store. She stopped at a table with tiny jeans and set Kendall on the floor, "Let momma see what these look like," she said holding them up to the little girls hips. Kendall posed jokingly for her mom and Sutton let out a laugh, "You're such a goofball." She said shaking her head. Sutton turned to look for a size larger than the one she held and in a flash Kendall was gone. When she turned around to find her preschooler missing, her heart sank, "Kendall!" Her voice rang out.

Emma looked up, "Is Kendall missing?" She asked pushing Ryleigh's stroller deeper into the store.

"She was right here! Kendall!" Her heart pounded. She turned a corner to see Kendall standing there, holding a frilly dress. "Kendall Alexandra!" Her voice shrilled.

Kendall's head shot up and spun around to look up at Sutton. She smiled and held up the dress, "Mommy this one is pretty!" She said gleeful with her choice in outfit.

Sutton grabbed her daughter and held her close to her body, "Baby, don't ever run off like that, do you hear me? Someone could have taken you." She said suddenly not wanting to put Kendall down.

Kendall looked up and met her mom's eyes with her own, "Like when daddy took me?"

Suddenly Sutton was overwhelmed with memories of t hat day in that very mall when Jordan snatched her right out from Sutton's hand. Now she felt even more scared than she was angry at Kendall for wandering off, "Yeah baby. Just like that." She said rubbing Kendall's back. "Stay with me, okay?" Kendall nodded and Sutton held her in her arms until they finished shopping.

The girls had spent most of afternoon shopping and after a while, Kendall fell asleep in Sutton's arms. Sutton looked at Emma, "I think we better go before Miss. Fancypants wakes up." Sutton said readjusting her arm under her daughter's dead weight.

Emma smiled, "Yeah. Sounds good." She looked down at her own sleeping daughter. This had been one of the first real trips out in public since she'd had Ryleigh and she was surprised at how many people stopped to oggle and make faces at the newborn baby. Sometimes it made Emma uncomfortable to have complete strangers getting so close to the newborn, but it wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as it had been when strangers ran up and rubbed her pregnant belly or asked to feel the baby kick.

The car ride home was quiet and filled with the sound of Kendall's sleep music. Sutton was nodding off when a buzz in her lap woke her. She looked at her phone. A new text from Thayer. As she read his note, Emma looked over at her, "How's the wedding plans?" She asked looking at her sister's engagement ring. Part of her missed being engaged. The hype of planning a wedding, of starting a new life as a new person. No longer a Becker and forever a Whitehorse.

Sutton blushed, "It's going. I can't wait to go dress shopping. I want something elegant and long but not poofy like a cupcake." Her face beamed.

Emma smiled at her sister's excitement, "Yup, all that planning for a dress you're only going to wear for a few hours one night of your life."

Sutton looked at her sister with a dead serious look on her face, "The best day of your life."

"That I can't deny. Though giving birth is a close second. A very close second." Emma said looking at Ryleigh in her rear view mirror. The baby was awake now looking at the passing trees out the window and sucking her fingers. Beside her, Kendall- who looked humongous next to the infant- was resting her head against the head rest and breathing deep sleepy breaths.

"I don't know, that was a pretty incredible day. Holding that baby for the very first time." Sutton shook her head, "I really do miss it." She said looking back at her little girl. "The fact that she starts kindergarten in less than a year is terrifying. I just want to hold my baby again."

"Knock knock? Who's that? Oh look it's baby envy." Emma teased. "Have you talked to Thayer about wanting another?" She turned the corner to Sutton's neighborhood and keyed in the familiar gate code.

"Not yet. I don't know if he's ready for another kid. I mean I could always play it off as an accident." She joked.

Emma shook her head as she pulled into the driveway of her old townhouse. So many memories flooded her mind every time she pulled into the familiar spot. "I don't think lying to Thayer is really the best idea. Would you wait until after the wedding to try?"

Sutton pulled the dead weight of her 4 year old carefully from the car causing Kendall's head to fall heavily onto Sutton's shoulder. Sutton pulled down her daughter's bunched up shirt. "I don't know. I honestly don't even know if I can handle two kids. I didn't think I could handle one."

Emma smiled as she unhooked her own daughter's carrier seat and set it on the ground, "And look at how well you've done with Kendall."

Sutton looked up at her sister's comment, "Thanks." She said smiling. She had been so conflicted over this baby issue, it was beginning to drive her insane. The girls headed into Sutton's house and Sutton made her way up to lay Kendall down for what little nap she could get from the preschooler. "It still would be harder with 2 kids and by the time the second one is born, she'll be in kindergarten. So I will have to deal with a newborn and a kindergartener. I don't know if we are ready for all of that." She said when she came back down the stairs.

Emma had cuddled into the old couch she'd fallen asleep so many times in the past. Now she looked up at her sister, "I understand. But you'll still have Thayer. You need to talk to him about it." She said.

Sutton sighed, "I know. But I'm scared that he's just going to yell at me." She slumped into the couch next to her twin.

Emma sat up and put her hand on Sutton's knee, "Don't worry too much about it. It will happen when it's meant to happen. Until then, enjoy the time you have with your little girl."

Sutton nodded, "I know and I am. But I can't help but think about it every now and again. I mean, Kenzie could use a little sibling. She's getting spoiled enough as it is. It's funny because I think she's realizing she's not the baby anymore."

Emma twisted her face, "What do you mean?"

"Well now that Ryleigh is here and everyone has been going crazy around her, she feels like she's not the favorite anymore. She used to be the first thing mom reached for the second we walked in that house. Now it's Ryleigh who's getting all the attention. If I have another baby, how is that going to make her feel? Like she's not special anymore? I can't do that to her." Sutton shook her head.

Emma sat up and pulled Sutton into her arms, "Your daughter will always be a princess, but she has to learn that she's not the only person in this world. She is a good kid, SUtton. She'll understand and now that she sees it with Ryleigh, she will handle it better when it's her brother or sister."

Sutton sighed, "Thanks, Em. Really. It helps to just talk it out." She said lifting her head and looking at her twin sister. "I know Kendall needs to learn that she's not the princess. But she's been my princess for the last 4 years. I've instilled this idea in her mind that she's Kendall, the princess and that the world bends down to her."

"She's not a bad kid, Sutton. But the apple didn't fall far from the tree." Emma said hoping her words didn't come out too harsh.

Sutton twisted her face, "What do you mean? Are you saying I'm spoiled?"

Emma looked down, "No. I think that you were raised a certain way and you've applied those same ideas in your own parenting. She's not a bad kid and neither are you. But I don't think it will hurt her to see that she's not the only person in this world. She'll understand the best way a four year old can."

"So, I'm not spoiled?"

"No. You're spoiled. But you're spoiled with love from an amazing family and an incredible daughter. You have a nice life Sutton. I know it might not be what you had intended at 22 years old, but you've done well for yourself with what you had to work with." She said trying not to anger Sutton more.

Sutton didn't say anything for a long while. Then she looked at Emma, "I know. It's not what I wanted at 22, but I can't think of my life without Kendall in it. She makes me happy, ya know?"

"I know. And I will continue to know as Ryleigh gets older. And I am glad she'll have the influence of her cousin to help her through life." Emma said smiling.

Sutton looked at her and smiled, "Thank you, Em." She said as she wrapped her arms around her sister. It wasn't usually like them to have too many heart to hearts, mostly by Sutton's own doing, but she had to admit that ever since she realized Emma wasn't out to get her and steal everything she had. the more she realized her sister wasn't such a bad person and started really enjoying the time she had with her twin.

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in the post guys! It's been crazy busy! Also, I wanna know if anyone realized the connection between the kid's names in the story. There are two connections actually. Both were unintentional and I just realized them as I was writing this chapter. If anyone can guess them, I'll give you a shout-out in my next chapter! :)**

**Their names:**

**Kendall Alexandra Mercer**

**Ryleigh Nicole Whitehorse**


	5. Sunday Funday

"Momma! Momma! Look what I gots!" Kendall said with a smile on her face. She dashed across the bright green lawn of the church. It was after service Easter Sunday one of the few Sunday's the Mercer's ever went to church as one family. Today Kendall wore a navy blue dress with silver and gold flowers all over it. Her hair was pulled in a bun and a few wisps of baby hairs framed her face. She held up a white and pink wicker Easter Basket up.

Sutton grabbed her kid and lifted her up in her arms. She looked in the basket. It was full of plastic eggs, a chocolate bunny, some jelly beans and those nasty sugar coated marshmallow ducks that no one ever eats. "Wow baby look at those goodies!" She said.

"Yeah. The Easter bunny brought it for me!" She said proudly. She'd just been released from the church's Sunday School and she held a few pictures of Jesus on the cross with colored scribbles in no organized fashion.

"He did bring it to you." She said kissing her cheek. Then she looked at the papers, "Did you color me a picture?"

Kendall looked down, "Oh yeah! We colored Jeebus!" she announced proudly.

"Jesus looks like a nice shade of red, baby. Beautiful." Even though the artwork wasn't much to be admired, there was something so special about the fact that her own daughter had created it. Kendall wasn't much of a collaring fan, so Sutton didn't have much in the way of her daughter's art, but what she did have, she displayed proudly on the fridge for everyone to see.

"Hey!" Emma said breathlessly as she caught up to Sutton and Kendall.

Sutton spun around, "Oh there you are! Are you going to mom's for lunch?" She asked as she readjusted her daughter in her arms.

Emma looked at her sister, "I think we were planning on it. She was making ham and sweet potatoes." She looked down at her little girl asleep in her carrier seat. Ryleigh had spent most of the day being passed around by almost every female adult in that congregation. In a way, Emma didn't mind letting someone else hold Ryleigh for a while. In fact, she kinda liked it. But now church had let out and everyone was headed out to spend their holiday relaxing at home. "Have you talked to Thayer about… You know?"

Sutton looked down and then set Kendall on the ground, "Not yet. I just don't know when the right time will be, ya know?"

Emma nodded, "I know, but if it's something you want he will understand."

"I know. But it has to be something he wants too." Sutton said as Kendall ran down the hill to where Kristin was in a deep conversation with the pastor. Kristin smiled when her granddaughter wrapped her arms around her legs and she lifted Kendall into her arms. Sutton looked back at Emma.

"That's why you should talk to him. Until you do, you won't know what he's thinking." Emma said putting her hand on her sister's shoulder.

"I know but I almost want him to come to me." She said softly. Her heart pounded just at the thought of bringing up the topic to Thayer. Right now, he looked harmless, arms crossed as he nodded in conversation with Ethan. But the moment she imagined telling him she wanted another baby, it made her stomach turn.

When the family gathered in The Mercer's dining room an hour later, the salty smell of ham and the warm sweet smell of potatoes filled the air. Chatter from the men gathered around the table as they talked about motorcycles. Kendall sat on her Uncle Ethan's lap, playing with the new Barbie he Easter Bunny had brought her. Emma and Sutton helped Kristin finished with the lunch preparations and Laurel set the table. Once the food was prepared and set out on the table, everyone gathered around. As per tradition for any holiday, Kristin had each member mention what they were thankful for. For Emma it was for her life. For the family she'd always hoped for and for a healthy sweet baby girl that Ethan held in his arms. For Ethan, it was similar and he kissed Ryleigh on the nose before looking at Sutton. For a moment, she swallowed hard. She looked down at the joining of her hand with Thayer's and she looked up at him, "Um." she said stumbling on her words, "I am thankful for my family. I'm thankful for Kendall. But I'm thankful for a wonderful and loving fiancé." She said smiling at him. He looked at her and winked.

Dinner came and went and to end the evening, Kristin popped some fresh popcorn while the family gathered on the couches and chairs. Emma laid curled in Ethan's arm, their infant sound asleep in his arms. Kendall curled into the side of Sutton's body and pulled a Mickey Mouse blanket under her chin. Thayer sat beside Sutton and rested his head on her shoulder. But it wasn't far into Monster Inc when Thayer's phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled out and looked at the caller ID. His heart stopped for a moment then he slid from Sutton's arm, "I gotta get this." He whispered then he kissed her temple and slipped into Sutton's old room. "Hello?" He said when he was alone.

"Dude! Thayer?" A man's voice said loudly.

Thayer pulled the phone away then pressed it to his ear again, "Yeah, Brendan, it's me." He said smiling. Brendan was an old friend Thayer had back in LA. He met him at a party just a few months before Sutton had come to stay with him in search of her birth mother. "What's up?" He hadn't spoken to Brendan or their other friend Tyler since he'd left LA and came back to Phoenix.

"Dude, Ty and I are in Phoenix bro. You down to do a little pub crawl? We thought about hitting up those bars you used to always talk about." His voice was raspy like he'd been smoking his entire life. "You free? You could show us around your hometown."

Thayer's hand rubbed the back of his neck. It'd been so long since he'd seen or talked to Brendan and Tyler, he never mentioned he'd had a baby. "I'm actually celebrating Easter with my family. What are you guys doing tomorrow? We could have lunch or something, I know of a good bar downtown that has some badass burgers."

"Oh." Brendan sounded letdown, "Yeah bro, let's do lunch tomorrow. Call you in the AM?"

Thayer smiled, "Yeah, sounds good. See you tomorrow." He said as he hung up. He headed back out to the living room, but the movie had ended and now Sutton carried a sleeping 4 year old. "You ready to go?" He asked when he joined the family.

Sutton turned around, "Yeah. I was wondering where you were. I think it's best we get this one to bed. She's had a long day." She said smiling. They said their goodbyes before heading out of the house.

The drive home was fairly quiet. Kendall slept the entire home and when they arrived, Thayer offered to take Kendall upstairs. But the suddenly stop in motion caused the girl to wake up suddenly and when Thayer went to reach for her, she slapped his hand away, "Mommy." Her voice groaned.

Sutton rolled her head back hoping she didn't have to do bedtime duties for a night, but she reached for the little girl and took her upstairs. "Well all in all that went over well. I think Kendall had some fun." She said thirty minutes later. Thayer had changed from his church clothes into a pair of pajama pants and a plain white V-neck tee. He sat up on the bed, resting his back against the pillows. When she slid into bed beside him, he closed his laptop. "What was that about?" She asked in regards to his actions.

"Nothing." He brushed off. Then he smiled at her, "Your speech at dinner was beautiful baby." He said kissing her lip.

Sutton smiled, "Good. Cause I wanted to ask you something." She said curling into his arms.

Thayer kissed the top of your head, "Anything my love."

Sutton looked up at him knowing this was her moment. She felt her throat close up and she swallowed, "Oh I mean. Not right now. Just later, ok?"

Thayer looked at her confused, "Ok. So um," He said changing the topic, "You remember that call I got?"

Sutton nodded, "Yeah. Seemed important, is everything okay?" She reached her hand up and rubbed his arm, his hair was course on her fingertips but she didn't mind.

"Yeah. It's just…" Suddenly now he felt nervous and he hoped she couldn't feel his pounding heartbeat in his chest. "Do you remember my friends Brendan and Tyler from LA?"

Sutton rolled her eyes, "Unfortunately. Is that who called you?"

Thayer swallowed hard, "Yeah. They're in Phoenix for a little while and they wanted to meet tomorrow for lunch."

Sutton sat up and looked at him, "Look Thayer," She said seriously, "You know I can't stand those guys. All they care about is getting drunk and trying to score as much ass as they can."

Thayer shook his head, "It's just lunch Sutton. But I wasn't going to meet with them without telling you first."

Sutton moved to her side of the bed, "Fine, Thayer. Have lunch with them."

Thayer laid back on his pillow, "Thank you. I'm so glad I needed _your_ permission to hang out with _my_ friends." He said. He watched as she flipped on her side facing her back to him and turned out her light. "Wow, way to be mature Sutton." He muttered as he copied her position and turned out his own light.


	6. Monday- Let The Weak Begin

"Dude!" Tyler said with a grin his face. He embraced Thayer in a hug like they'd had dome so many times in LA. Thayer smiled and for a moment forgot about his fiance or her disapproval. For once, he felt like a 23 year old.

"Hey!" He said. He looked to Brendan who was stood taller than both Tyler and Thayer and he slapped his hand, "It's been too long!"

The boys headed into the small bar just down the road from where Alec worked. He'd been there several times with Sutton and Mads before he disappeared for LA. The restaurant was packed with business men in suits taking an extra long lunch break. Some college students typed away on laptops and the sound of Nirvana blasted over the stereo system. The boys found some empty space at the bar and saddled up. It was few minutes before the bartender noticed them and headed from across the bar to take their order. Thayer looked at his old friends, "So what the hell is up with you guys? What brings you to Phoenix?"

"Your shiny face." Tyler joked. He turned to the bartender and ordered a stiff jack and coke then looked back at Thayer.

"It's been almost 5 years since we've hung out. You couldn't have come just because of me." He said honestly. In the back of his mind he couldn't help but think about what Sutton had said to him the night before. He tried to shake it off knowing that she didn't really care for Brendan and Tyler when she knew them back in LA, but it still hurt that she didn't approve of his friends.

Brendan leaned over the bar and looked at Thayer, "What we can't miss a brother?" He said smiling. His blue eyes looked bluer in the florescent Bud Light sign above the bar. "I mean we do miss you back in the land of the fake and flakey. But it's also Spring Break and you know us, we go anywhere the party scene is at."

That moment Thayer's phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out. Sutton's face on his caller ID smiled up at him. He looked at the guys, "Hey, I gotta get this." Then he stood up and headed to the bathroom, "What?" His voice was cold. He hadn't spoken to Sutton since the night before when she coldly shut him out. Even that morning he barely even looked at her when she came downstairs with her 4 year old attached at her hip. Kendall crawled in his lap and pulled her coloring book over like she did every morning since Thayer'd move in. He kissed her as he did every morning, but other than that, you could cut the silence with a knife.

"Are you coming home tonight?" She met his cold tone with one of her own.

Thayer pinched his face, "Where else am I going to go?" He asked.

"I have no idea. Surely those assholes will demand all of your free time." She said. In the background he could hear Kendall's little voice asking if she could talk to her daddy. Thayer's heart melted.

"I'll be home. Is that all you called about?" He said wanting to just end the call. But the sound of Kendall's voice stopped him from coldly hanging up on his fiancé.

"Kendall wants to talk to you." She said still angry.

Thayer sighed, he didn't want her to think that his daughter would become the liaison for their relationship. "Fine."

It was a minute of fumbling on the other line before a little girls voice popped over the line, "Hi daddy." She said ever so sweetly.

Thayer smiled, "Hi baby. How are you?"

"Good. I tooks a nap." She said proudly. It was a moment again before she spoke, "Daddy?"

"Yeah baby?" He said. He looked out at the guys who were chugging their pints of beer and staring at some old episode of Sports Center on the TV's above the bar.

"Are you coming home tonight?" She asked. Her voice was so soft and sweet he swore she was spun purely from fairy dust and sugar.

"I'll be home tonight baby. Why do you ask?"

Her voice lowered, "Mommy says you're not coming home. Pwease don't leave again daddy. I like you's being here."

Thayer shook his head, "Mommy is being silly baby girl. I'll be home."

She drew in a gasp, "Yay! Then can you tucks me in tonight?"

Thayer sighed, not really wanting this to be his life right now, "Sure baby girl. But listen, daddy has to go. I'll see you tonight?"

"Yeah. Don't forget, okay?" Then she made kiss noise and ended the call. Thayer slipped his phone in his pocket and took a moment to gather his emotions. When he felt like he'd shook most his emotions away he made his way back to the bar. "Sorry guys. It was just my…" Then he paused forgetting that he never told Tyler and Brendan about his other life. "My girlfriend." He lied. Then he took a sip of his Blue Moon and looked up at the TV, not really engaging in the contents on the screen. Truth was he couldn't shake his little girls voice. Something about her innocence and sweetness, yet it made his skin crawl.

"No worries bro." Brendan said, "So as I was saying. It's spring break. There's this badass party. You should come." He said.

Thayer looked down, "I don't know. It's just I have this thing now and I can't just go to parties on the fly anymore."

Brendan's face looked letdown, "This is the party of the year bro, you have to come. You're Thayer, the man! The legend! How can we be in your hometown and not show up to the biggest party like, ever, without the Legend Rybak by our side? What could possibly be so important that you can't ignore it for one night?"

It was true, back in LA, Thayer was known for the king of parties. He was the sweet talker, the master beer pong player and when he got wasted enough he'd rock Bohemian Rhapsody solo on karaoke. But that was 5 years ago. A year before his daughter was born. That was before he was serious about being a good father and a husband to Sutton. He wasn't that same Thayer anymore. But it didn't mean he didn't miss maybe a little bit of that life. He pulled his phone from his pocket and clicked on his lock screen. A picture of him and Kendall in the pumpkin patch last halloween lit up in the darkness of the bar. Tyler looked down at it, "Dude, who is that?" He said reaching for the phone.

"No one." He said snatching it back. But it was too late. Now even Brendan was looking down at the photo.

"She doesn't look like no one." Tyler teased, "Dude, I know you like the younger chicks. I mean you had that bitch Sutton for a while." Hearing him call his fiancé a bitch made Thayer's blood boil but he didn't say anything. "But she look's way too young for you dude. Like she looks like she should be watching Barney and taking naps."

Thayer shook his head, "Are you fucking serious right now?" His snap made Tyler look up at him. His joking face faded when he met Thayer's angry glare. "She's not my fucking girlfriend you perve. She's my daughter. That's what I have going on these days. I have a daughter."

Brendan and Tyler looked at each other and after a beat both guys burst into laughter, "Are you shitting me? You have a kid?" Tyler said between laughter.

Thayer shook his head, "Yes. I have a fucking kid, okay? That's why I can't go to your stupid party. Because I have a responsibility to her."

"Wow bro." Brendan said putting up two hands, "Calm down. It's fucking cool." He took a minute to stop laughing, "What's her name?"

"Kendall. She's four and that's who called me." he said taking a long sip of his beer.

Brendan put his pinky and thumb out making a phone shape with his hand, "Hello?" He mocked, "Oh hi daddy." His voice said in a higher register, "Come tuck me in, read me stories and play princess with me daddy." Then he shook his head. "I'm sorry bro, she's cute but you have to come to this party. I'm sure she will be fine without daddy for a night."

At this point Thayer didn't even want to go to the party, but at the same time he didn't want to come home either. He wasn't quite ready to deal with Sutton's bitchy ranting. "I don't know." He sighed, he did miss the party scene, but when he looked at that little girl, he felt torn. "I'll think about it."

The guys backed off at his final answer. When they'd paid their bills, the guys stood up, "Look." Tyler said finally, "I'm sorry for ragging on you about your daughter. She is a beautiful little girl."

Thayer nodded, "Thanks. And like I said, I'll see what I can do. It's more of swaying her mom to let me go."

Brendan looked at Tyler, "This is why we stay single." He said to him. Then he looked at Thayer, "Well see what you can do."

"Yeah, I'll let you know." He pulled the keys to his mini cooper out of his pocket and then looked up, "I have a reservation for golf Wednesday at noon. Y'all should come along and hang out some more. I do miss hanging out with you guys."

Tyler looked at him and smiled, "Sounds good." He said. Then they said their good byes. Thayer slid into the driver's seat of his car and put his hands on the steering wheel. He didn't really know what to do at this point. But he started the car and headed home nonetheless hoping that maybe Sutton would go easy on him for only having lunch with some old friends.

**A/N: There is still time to win that shout out! Check out two chapters back to see how you can win! Good Luck! :)**


	7. Tuesday- Sutton Mercer, Party of 4

"She should be out for a few hours." Emma said as she came downstairs. She handed Sutton one of the baby monitors. "Thank you so much for doing this you guys, it means a lot to get out of the house." Sutton and Thayer had offered to take care of Ryleigh for a few hours so Emma could meet Ethan for lunch and get some shopping done. Of course as soon as Emma had brought up the babysitting job, she jumped at the offer. It took some convincing on Thayer's part especially if she was serious about having another baby.

Thayer had laid his own sleeping angel on Emma's couch and covered her with one of Ethan's old blanket's his father had given him from the ranch. He kissed her forehead and looked at Emma, "It's perfectly fine. Have fun." He said as he turned the TV on.

Sutton followed Emma out to her car, "Thank you." She said smiling.

Emma smiled back, "No. Thank you. I need a break from carrying her around everywhere." Then she looked deep in her sister's eyes, "Let him fall in love with her. Maybe if he spends time with Ryleigh, he will come around." She stuck up a finger, "But I still say you need to talk to him." She said seriously.

Sutton nodded, "I know. I know. I just don't know how."

Emma hugged her sister, "It will happen naturally. You will know. But let him come around to the idea."

Sutton wrapped her arms around her twin, "I know. I will. Thanks for letting me live my fantasy."

Emma laughed, "You're crazy! Thank you for letting me have some time alone with my husband." Then she pulled back and got in her car. When Sutton stepped back in the house, Thayer was already holding the tiny infant.

When she walked in, he looked up at her, "Oh hey. She was crying. I didn't know what to do so I just went up and got her. But she stopped after I picked her up."

Sutton smiled at the sight, her heart pinched when she thought about all those times she'd wished he'd held Kendall when she was a baby. But when she thought about it, maybe now he could fall in love with the baby and want a new baby. "You did fine, Thay. She just wanted some love from her Uncle Thayer." Then she looked up at him.

He met her look and smiled, "Why are you smiling like that?" He asked suspiciously.

She shook her head, "No reason. You just look so cute holding Ryleigh." She looked down at the baby, "Look, she's smiling at you." She said.

Thayer looked down at Ryleigh, "She is cute and I see her smiling." He gave her a goofy grin back and it made Sutton's want for a new baby grow with every passing minute. Beside her, Kendall started to stir and her eyes opened slowly, "Hey pumpkin." Sutton said reaching over and rubbing the sleep from her daughter's eyes, "How was your nap."

Kendall yawned and looked at Sutton, "It was good mommy." She said then she looked at Thayer holding Ryleigh and her face pinched, "Hey! That's my daddy!" She announced looking Ryleigh in the eyes. Then she tried to pry Thayer's arms from the infant.

Sutton stood up and grabbed Kendall, "Hey! That's not nice." She said swinging her daughter around her hip.

Kendall looked at her mom with tears in her eyes, "I don't like her!" She declared. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and sniffled.

Sutton shook her head, "Come here baby." She said knowing that this conversation was bound to happen eventually. But she'd hoped it would happen after she had told Thayer of her hopes to have a new baby. She sat in Ethan's favorite lounge chair and rested Kendall on her lap. She pushed back Kendall's long brown hair and dried the tears that pooled under her daughter's blue eyes, "You know that it's okay for daddy to hold Ryleigh. Of course he is your daddy and you are his little girl, but sometimes mommy's and daddy's miss when their baby girls grow up to be sweet big girls."

Kendall sucked in a breath, "But she's always getting all the love." She said softly. "Why doesn't everybody love me?" She asked honestly looking up at Sutton.

Sutton's heart shattered in that instant. She wrapped her arms around her daughter and pulled her into her chest, "Oh baby. That's not true pumpkin. I love you and daddy loves you very much." She kissed the top of Kendall's head.

But that answer didn't satisfy the preschooler. She shook her head, "No. Grammy and Auntie Emma and Uncle Ethan and everybody likes Ryleigh now more than they like me. Can't she go back in Emma's tummy?" She asked looking back at the wide-eyed infant. "Then grammy can love me again." She said sadly.

"Kenzie, you know that grammy loves you so much. She doesn't love Ryleigh any more than she loves you." Sutton said rubbing Kendall's heaving back.

"But she always wants to hold Ryleigh. Everybody wants to hold Ryleigh." She said tears falling down her cheeks again.

Sutton shook her head. Was this life's way of telling her she shouldn't have another baby? Would Kendall act even worse if it was her sibling and not her cousin? But part of her still longed for another little miracle. Her heart sank. "Everybody still wants to hold you pumpkin, but you're growing up. You're not a baby anymore. But just because you are getting bigger, doesn't mean that grammy or Auntie Emma and Uncle Ethan don't love you anymore. They will always love you the same amount as they love Ryleigh or any other baby that may come in the family." Her eyes for a moment left her daughter's and looked at Thayer. Despite the fact that he was looking at Ryleigh, she knew he was listening. She looked back at Kendall, "No matter what happens, you should always know that mommy, daddy, grammy, Auntie Emma, Uncle Ethan and Auntie Laurel love you so much. And no matter what, you will always be my first ever love."

Kendall looked up at her mom, "I love you too mommy." She said wrapping her arms around her mom. Sutton pulled her in tight and gave her a squeeze.

Sutton looked at Thayer. He was gently rocking Ryleigh as she drowsily fell in and out of sleep. "Let's go watch some Sofia the First in Auntie Emma's room." She said standing up.

Kendall smiled, "Just you and me?" She asked. She looked back at Thayer, "Daddy is busy with Cousin Ryleigh." She announced.

Sutton grabbed Kendall's hand as they headed for the stairs, "Yes, he is busy." She confirmed. Suddenly her phone rang in her back pocket, she reached behind with her free hand and lifted it out. It was Emma, "Hello?" She said pressing the phone to her ear.

"Hey!" Emma said cheerfully. "How is it going on the get Thayer to want a new baby mission? Did you talk to him?"

Sutton looked down at Kendall, "No. We had a bit of jealousy when Kenzie saw him with Ryleigh. I mean, I joked about it when he was holding her, how cute he looked holding such a tiny baby but I don't think he picked up the hint."

"Where are you now?" Emma asked.

"In your room watching an episode of Sofia with Kendall. He's still downstairs with Ryleigh." Sutton said as she pulled a blanket over her daughter. Kendall snuggled into her mother's body and stared attentively at the TV screen.

"You can't joke with him. Be open and honest, but you need to be serious if you're serious about the new baby." Emma said, "Our food's here. I'll be home around 4. See you then." Then she hung up the phone. Sutton shook her head. She tried to focus on the show with her daughter, but her mind wandered to memories of her last pregnancy. The baby kicking, the heartbeat over the ultrasound. The sight of her daughter the day she was born. She craved it, but was the rest of her family as ready for it as she was?

"So.." Sutton said slowly as she slid into bed later that night. She let Thayer put Kendall to bed that night per her daughter's request. Now he was laying in bed flipping silently through the channels on the television. "It was kinda cute how protective she was when she saw you with Ryleigh." She said as she slid into the space where he laid. For a moment she hesitated. She hadn't talked to Thayer about their fight nor had she spoken to him much since it happened. Sure they were fine at Emma's but neither of them had carried on a full conversation since it happened. But when he moved his arm up in an invitation to cuddle in his embrace, she couldn't resist. She rested her head on his shoulder and he kissed her. "I'm sorry." She said finally.

"Sorry for what?" He said turning off the TV.

"For yelling at you and getting mad." She said tracing her finger along his forearm. "I shouldn't have gotten angry about you wanting to hang out with your friends. It's just I get so upset anytime I feel like this thing we have could falter and those guys aren't the greatest influences on you." she said. She looked up at him and met his stare. "We are parent's now. We have to set an example for Kendall and if we have another one in the future." She put her hand on her stomach.

He sat up, causing her to fall over on the bed, "Hold up." He said in a panic, "What do you mean in the future? You're not-" He pointed to her.

She sat up, "Calm down. I'm not pregnant." She said feeling a bit hurt. She hoped that this conversation wouldn't take a trip down this road, but it seemed inevitable.

Thayer sighed, "Thank god." He laughed. "I was scared there for a second." Sutton could feel her heart drop to the pit of her stomach. "So why would you even bring that up?"

She looked at him, "I don't know." she said plaintively, "It's just…" her pounded in her chest so loudly she swore he could hear it. "I feel like maybe we could have another one?" She sat up straight, "I mean the time is perfect. Kendall's older now and she'll be in school by the time the new baby comes around and…" she swallowed hard, "Don't you miss those baby days? I mean you weren't there for most of Kendall's." She looked up at him. A look of shock and hurt wore on his face. She suddenly realized just exactly what she'd said, "No. I didn't mean it like that."

Thayer threw up his hands, "Just stop. I don't want another kid. Not right now." He stood up.

She crawled across the bed in his direction, "But Thayer," She pleaded, "Can't we just talk about this?" He disappeared into the bathroom and slammed the door. She fell back into the bed and stared up at the ceiling. That was it? He wasn't even going to listen to what she has to say? Just I don't want another and she was supposed to be okay with that? She wiped the single tear from her eye and rolled over to her side of the bed and turned out the light. Maybe she'd give him the night to think it over. After all, it was a perfectly natural reaction to have upon the request of your fiancé's want for a new baby.


	8. Wednesday- Baby Bum Blues

**Hey Guys! Be forewarned now that in the upcoming chapters there will be a lot of swearing going on. So if you're sensitive to those words, just giving you a heads up.**

"Maybe you guys just need some time away from the kids to really talk about it." Emma said. The midday sun was warm and Kendall had spent the morning splashing in the baby pool Emma just bought. She lifted her glass of homemade lemonade and pressed it to her lips. The liquid was cool to the touch and it felt refreshing against the warmth of the impending summer sun.

Sutton shook her head, "He's set in his ways. You know how Thayer is. Even if I tried to pressure him into it, he will only get more angry. Maybe I should let it go." She said looking out at her daughter. Even though the little plastic pool was about a foot and a half deep, She wore those obnoxious yellow water wings on each arm that made it nearly impossible to relax. She had on a pair of Ethan's old goggles and held a barbie doll in each hand. Her little blue and white anchor bikini was sopping wet from the pool.

"If you let it go, you won't get anywhere with him. I know Thayer well enough to know that he will hear you out if you are in the right situation. What about a date night?" Emma suggested.

Sutton looked back at her sister, "A date night? I can't afford a baby sitter right now, Emma and trying to have a date night with that one around isn't date night, it's family time." She said shutting down her sister's suggestion.

"I'll take Kendall for the night. You just plan a nice night. Make his favorite dinner and a bottle of wine. Make it romantic and I know he will be more inclined to at least talk without shutting you out." She said taking another sip of her lemonade.

Sutton looked at her sister, thinking about her offer, "I'll take you up on the Kendall bit. Are you sure you're okay taking her for the night?"

Emma smiled, "Of course! I wouldn't have offered if it would have been too much. Plus Ethan is working a half day so he can come help with Ryleigh and I'll take Kendall. You just worry about tonight."

"Thank you!" Sutton said smiling. Then she looked at her daughter, "Kenz!" She called out. Kendall dropped the dolls and looked up at her mom. The dark blue tint of the plastic goggles made the little girl look like an alien. "Come here." Kendall smiled and ran got out of the pool. Loose pieces of grass clung to her legs as she ran across the freshly cup lawn. Sutton smiled as she pulled the wet child into a warm towel, "Take those things off you look silly." she said gently removing the goggles that tangled in her wet ponytail. Kendall laughed at her mother's comment. "How would you like to stay with Auntie Emma and Uncle Ethan tonight? You could have a sleepover like you used to when she lived with us."

Kendall looked at her aunt. Emma smiled at her, "We can make chocolate chip cookies and have a pillow fight, just like before."

Kendall thought about this. Sure it was fun staying at her aunt's house for the night, but then she looked at Sutton, "Yeah mommy!" then she looked at Emma, "Can we make the ones with the big chocolate ships?

Emma laughed, "Sure baby. We can make the ones with the big chocolate ships." Then she reached out for Kendall and pulled her onto her lap, "You are so messy my love, let's get you cleaned up so we can go inside and wait for Uncle Ethan to come home."

Sutton stood up when Emma stood, "Thanks, I owe you one."

Emma smiled, "No biggie. Just make sure to do something romantic and try not to push the idea on him."

Sutton smiled, "I won't." Then she gathered her keys off the wooden table and looked at her daughter, "Alright sweetie. Have fun with Auntie Emma and Uncle Ethan. Be a good girl and listen to what they tell you okay?"

Kendall nodded, "Ok mommy." But she wasn't really paying attention. Her four year old mind was lost somewhere in candy land, thinking about those cookies with the big chocolate ships.

"FOUR!" Tyler shouted. He looked out over the golfing greens. When the ball fell into the grass a good distance away he smiled, "Good way to start the game." He said pulling out his old rival competitive side.

Thayer looked at him and stood up from the golf cart. "Well yeah, that was good and all, but I've been playing golf since I was in diapers. Watch out boys." He said in a showoff-y manner. He set up his swing and pulled back, striking the white ball with force and watched it drive into the air, soaring past Tyler's ball. He turned on his heel and grinned, "You were saying."

Tyler shook his head, "Yeah. Yeah." He said. A light of an iPhone caught his attention. Tyler held up Thayer's phone, "Hey T? Why is that girl Sutton calling you? I thought you were over her?"

Thayer snatched up the phone, "Yeah well. I thought I was too until she had my baby." He looked at the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey!" She said gleefully. He could practically hear the smile in her voice.

"Hey. I'm at the club with the guys, can I call you back later?" He said, hoping that being honest with her about his whereabouts wouldn't spark another fight between them.

"Oh." She said slowly, "Well that's alright. I was just wondering if you were busy tonight?"

Thayer looked at Brendan as he took his swing, paying more attention to his golf game than his fiancé, "I don't think so, why?"

"I don't know. I just thought we could have some time together. Just us. I got reservations at The Mesa Bar and Grille. I know we talked about going there one day."

Thayer sat on the vinyl white seat of the golf cart, "What about Kendall? I don't think Mesa is all that kid-friendly." He said lowering his voice. He turned the key in the ignition and the cart puttered to a start.

"Emma took her for the night. It was her idea to have the date night." She said smiling.

Thayer lowered his eyes, "Why would Emma be suggesting that we have a date night?"

Sutton bit her lip in an attempt to hide the fact that she'd shared her baby hopes with her twin sister before she talked to him about it. "I was just telling her about our fight the other night and she thought maybe we could use a night without Kendall. Come on, baby. How can you say no to just a night of you and me, wine and some fancy steaks. It'll be fun." She felt stupid having to practically persuade him with food to spend time with her alone. But she was desperate.

Thayer sighed, "Fine. What time?" he reluctantly agreed.

Sutton wasn't exactly expecting that kind of reaction from him, but at least he was willing to go, "7:30?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll be home at like 6." then he hung up the phone. "Sorry." He said. Though he sounded less than enthused about a night out with Sutton, maybe some time with her alone could do them some good.

Tyler looked at him, "It's cool dude. So Sutton is your baby mama?"

Thayer nodded admittedly, "Yep."

"Wow. that bitch really found a way to keep you tied around her finger." Tyler said shaking his head.

Thayer didn't really react much to Tyler's comment. Truth was, they didn't like each other and he was constantly caught in the middle, "It wasn't like that okay? Mistakes happen and now I'm the responsible for her."

Tyler looked at him, "Did you just call your daughter a mistake?" He shook his head.

Thayer looked at him, "I don't know." He shrugged. "I didn't fucking plan to have a baby with Sutton at 19. But shit happens. Maybe y'all can remember this the next time you have unprotected sex."

Tyler shook his head, "Nah, dude. I pull out every time." Thayer rolled his eyes, "So what you gon' bail on us tonight?"

Thayer threw his head back, "The party! Damn it!" He slammed his hands on the steering wheel, "No. I'll just reschedule with Sutton. She'll understand."

Tyler looked at him in disbelief, "Sutton doesn't understand anything that doesn't benefit Sutton."

Thayer looked at him, fed up with his subtle attacks on his fiancé, "Look. I know you hate Sutton and believe me, Sutton isn't too fond of you either, but can you just stop? Please? I get enough of her shit about you guys and you rag on me about her. I just want to be a normal 23 year old. I'm tired of this father bullshit. I'm tired of having her down my throat about wanting another kid. I'm not fucking ready for any of this shit. So can we please just drop her and drop Kendall and just forget about my family? Please?" He stood up and grabbed his golf bag.

Tyler followed after him. "Dude, chill out. Maybe you should come to the party tonight? You know, kick back. Hang out with people who don't have their head up their ass and just have fun. You sound like you could use it. Plus the party starts at 4, you could go for a few hours and still make your dinner date with the queen."

Thayere sighed, "I know." He said pulling his club from the bag, "And all I want is to just be my old self again. All I hear you and Brendan talk about is the parties you went to and all the fun you had. I forgot what it was like to spend the night not reading fairy tales to four year old or going to bed at 11 because your daughter will wake you up at 7 in the morning. Hell, I forgot what it was like to get up after 9." Then he looked at Tyler, "I was so not ready to be a father." He confessed.

Tyler nodded, "I know, dude. But I am sure Kendall loves you. You just need a break. Come to the party and just chill. You'll still make it on time to your date with Sutton and she'll never know."

Thayer sighed and placed his ball on the ground, "Yeah. I guess. Maybe I'll go for an hour or two."

Tyler clapped his hands together, "Oh thank God! The legend Rybak is BACK!" Then he shook Thayer's shoulder's and Thayer laughed.

"Yeah, yeah." He nodded, "But uh, you might wanna stand back. This has hole in one written all over it."


	9. Wednesday Evening- Deadman's Party

**LANGUAGE WARNING! **

Steamed filled the bedroom as Sutton exited the bathroom. For once the house was quiet. No screaming toddler, no blasting television. She looked at the clock. Thayer wouldn't be home for another 15 minutes. She sat at her vanity and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was twisted up in a towel and her mascara was streaking down her cheeks. She reached for a makeup remover wipe and began to scrub off the black lines. The house was almost too quiet. Part of her wanted to relax in the silence, but at the same time it almost freaked her out. She grabbed her phone and opened her Pandora app to her top 40 station. The music was just enough to cut the silence, but didn't drive her insane. She reached for her makeup case and opened it. What to wear? She thought.

"Dude!" Tyler shouted over the thumping house mix that filled the tiny frat house, "This dude is a fucking legend!" He slapped Thayer's shoulder, "Remember that time when you beat the entire Berkeley lacrosse team at beer pong? That was insane!"

Thayer took another swig of his beer, it was his 4th in an hour. He'd been so desperate to wash away any memory he had with Kendall and give in to his adolescent urges. Beside him a blond about his age, with large boobs cuddled into his arms. Her long nailed finger dragged slowly up his shorts, implying she wanted more than to just sit here listening to his legendary stories. He looked at her and she winked at him, "I see what you're doing there." He whispered seductively in her ear. His breath smelled of beer but it somehow turned her on even more.

"Well you know, I like a man who can hold his liquor." Then she leaned in and kissed him. Her lips tasted like vanilla with a hint of alcohol. She moved to his jawline and the crowd around him cheered.

"Oh yeah! Get that ass, Thayer!" Brendan cheered.

The blonde nibbled his earlobe, "Why don't you and I go find somewhere a little less…" she seductively pulled at the collar of his shirt, "crowded." Then she nibbled at his earlobe again before pulling him to his feet.

His head buzzed, a mixture of the beer, a lack of oxygen and the woman pulling him into a vacant bedroom. She slammed the door behind him and immediately began devouring his lips. She pressed him against the door and slid her hands up his shirt.

Sutton sat on the couch. The sun had set ages ago but she was too lazy to turn on a light. She kicked a black peep-toed pump against her heel. She looked down at her black dress. It was after 7:30 and Thayer said he would be home an hour and a half ago. She grabbed her phone and dialed his number, "It's Thayer. I'm too lazy to get my phone so leave me a message." She groaned.

"Thayer, it's me. We were supposed to be at the restaurant by now. Where the hell are you? Call me." Then she hung up the phone. She tried not to let herself get angry but mostly she worried about his safety. If cops don't show up at the door then I am sure he is fine. She thought. She reached for the remote and turned on the TV.

The blonde's hands trailed down Thayer's body. Her mouth worked sultry kisses down his bare chest. Thayer didn't really move. Mostly because she had him pinned to the door. His back pocket buzzed and he reached for it. One missed call. Sutton. New Voicemail. Sutton. Suddenly it hit him. "Shit!" He said. The blonde stopped halfway unzipping his pants and he pushed her off of him. He fumbled for the door knob and stumbled down the hallway, leaving the blonde to stare at him like she'd just bit off his penis.

He barely made it downstairs and he looked for his friends, "I have to go." He said. He grabbed his keys and took off before Brendan or Tyler could stop him.

Sutton flipped through every channel at least 4 times before she landed on some old episode of America's Next To Model. She grabbed her phone again and dialed his number for the millionth time. But every time was the same. Voicemail. Then she could see headlight's flood the front of the house and she sat up. When Thayer stumbled into the house, she knew something was up, "Thayer?" She said.

He rushed to her side, tripping over his own legs. "Baby." He said, his words slurred and his breath reeked of alcohol. "I'm so sorry. I just. I-"

She stood up, "Thayer you smell like alcohol. Where the hell have you been?" She said folding her arms across her chest.

He looked up at her. Her long brown hair cascaded down her back in loose curls and her tight black dress accented her gorgeous body. This was the woman he wanted. Not some sleazy blond who only wanted him for his reputation. "I was out, Sutton." He said trying to stand up, but he felt light headed and fell back onto the couch. "I'm here now, baby. We can go."

Sutton shook her head, anger surged through her, "You're fucking drunk, Thayer! Did you drive home just now?"

Thayer looked down at the keys in his hand, "No it's okay. I only had a few beers. I'm fine." He pulled at her hip but she backed up.

She shook her head, tears welled in her eyes, "Look it's bad enough that you stood me up for our date to go to that stupid party but the fact that you came home drunk? How could you be so irresponsible. She looked down at one of the framed photo's on the coffee table. A smiling toddler in a pink princess dress grinned at the camera. She grabbed it and shoved it at him, "Look at that little girl, Thayer! That's your fucking daughter. You're kid. How could you be so irresponsible when you have a child?"

Thayer looked down at the picture. His fingers traced over the glass, "I'm sorry, Sutton. Please let's just go have a good dinner." He pleaded looking back up at her.

Sutton set the photo down and shook her head, "No. I'm not taking you anywhere." she pushed back her tears, "All I wanted was a nice night. I wanted to have dinner, drink some wine. I wanted to talk about the baby."

Thayer shook his head, "So that's what this is all about? I told you, I'm not ready for another baby. I'm not even ready for Kendall. Jesus, Sutton, I'm 23 years old. So I went to a fucking party. Had a few beers. I can still have a goddamn life. Beside's it might just be something I would want to do when I go to college in the fall."

"What the fuck? What are you fucking talking about?! You're not going to school, Thayer. You have a daughter to raise." She said clenching her fists.

Thayer shook his head and spun around in anger, "One. Just because I go to school doesn't mean I can't still raise my daughter. Two. Don't you get it, Sutton? Your dead father's money isn't going to last you forever. One of us needs to get a job and make a life for ourselves. What the fuck do you do all day but sit around and cater to that spoiled child's every want and need."

Sutton was livid. She wanted to punch the shit out of him. "Excuse me?! How dare you! First of all, you don't know anything about what I do all day with Kendall. And to call her spoiled? What the fuck is wrong with you?" She shook her head but couldn't stop the tears that fell rapidly down her cheeks, "And you know, nothing, _nothing _about my father. How dare you even speak about my father like that. What the fuck is wrong with you?" Then she wiped the tears with the heels of her hand and grabbed her keys. Outside, the night sir was cool and her skin prickled against the wind. She slid into her car and grabbed her phone.

"Hello?" Emma's voice came over the line.

Her sister's voice made her cry harder and she drew in a breath, "Emma?"

"Sutton?" Her voice soothed, "Sweetie, are you crying? What the hell happened? Did dinner not go over well?"

"Dinner didn't fucking happen!" She coughed, "He fucking stood me up. Went to some stupid party with those asshole's I can't stand, got drunk and showed up about ten minutes ago wasted."

"Whoa, Whoa Whoa. Calm down. He stood you up?" Emma said trying to make sense of her sister's rambling's.

"It's not about that. The fact that he drove home drunk scares me, Em. Daddy died cause of a drunk driver. I can't lose Thayer too."

"Ok. Calm down. Where are you?"

"In my car outside the house. I can't be here anymore. Can I come stay the night at your place?" She begged.

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to be around your daughter in this state. Look, just go to mom's. Crash in your old room for the night. Just please don't do something stupid."

Sutton shook her head, "Emma! Are you serious? My fiancé just came home wasted, fought with me, called his daughter a spoiled brat and then drops the bomb that he's going back to school in the fall cause our dead dad's money won't last us forever." She turned the key to her car and started the engine. "Now you won't even let me stay the night at your house? Why the hell is everyone against me?" Then she hung up the phone and tossed it into the driver's seat. She peeled out of the neighborhood onto the dark road and turned onto the highway, heading for Kristin's. But just before the exit she saw an old familiar sign. Jack's Bar. A place she'd never been but heard a lot about. She pulled off just shy of the exit to Kristin's and pulled into an empty parking space at the bar.


	10. Wednesday Night- A White Tie Affair

**CONTENT AND LANGUAGE WARNING!**

The bar was quiet but a Hank William's Jr. song played softly from a jukebox in the corner. Sutton saddled up to the bar and looked at the bottles of liquor on display. "What'll it be pretty lady?" The bartender said smiling at her. The man was older, maybe Ted's age. His comment made her skin crawl, but he held the goods.

She looked past him at the bottles, "Gin and tonic?" She said remembering an old drink Thayer once ordered. The man smiled then turned around.

"So what brings you in?" He asked as he wiped a glass with the apron around his waist.

Sutton looked up, "Nothing. Just had a bad night." She said. She wasn't really in the mood to chat. She reached for her phone and pulled it out. He hadn't even tried to call her. Of course he wouldn't, she thought. He was probably back at the party doing shots off some slutty 18 year-old freshman.

"Well I hope the night gets better for ya." The bartender said placing the drinking in front of her.

She took a sip of the drink and looked around the bar. There weren't too many people around. An older couple slow danced to "The Dance" by Garth Brooks. The bar was pretty empty, but right now, Sutton needed some alone time.

"I love this song." A man said beside her. She was captivated by her surroundings and her thoughts, she barely noticed him slide into the bar stool beside her.

She looked up at him, "Oh me too!" She said smiling. His blue eyes sparkled underneath his long brown hair. She took another sip of her drink and looked at the guy again, "This used to be my dad's favorite song." She smiled remembering when she was a little girl and he'd play this song while they danced in her bedroom. She would stand on his feet and they'd glide around while her princess dress swished around her legs with every twirl. "When I was little he'd put me on his feet and we'd dance around my room like I was Cinderella and it was the ball." She laughed. Then she looked up embarrassed, "I'm sorry. I'm sure you don't care."

The guy smiled at her, "No no. It's cute." Then he looked down, "I'm sorry. That was forward."

Sutton smiled. The guy was cute. He wore a worn in blazer and a pair of khaki pants. His brown loafers looked like they'd seen better days. His hair was swept to the side, but stuck up in a few places. His teeth were white like he'd spent a fortune on having them whitened and his eyes sparkled in hers, "No. It's okay."

The guy smiled at her, "Would you like to dance?" Then he looked down, "I'm sorry. I'm new at this. Was that too forward?"

Sutton smiled, "No. It wasn't too forward at all." Then she sat her drink on the bar and placed her hand on the hand that was extended for her. She followed him to the dance floor and he pulled her into his arms.

He swayed to the beat of the song, "So I don't think I quite caught your name. I'm Austin." He said. He was much taller than she was and he smiled down at her.

"Oh." She laughed, "I'm Sutton." The feeling of his hand wrapped gently around her felt oddly protective and his fingers laced around her tiny fingers made her feel secure.

"So I heard you say you had a bad night?" He asked as he pulled her along to the sound of the music.

Sutton shook her head, "Oh. Yeah, it's nothing, Just got in a fight. It's whatever though. So what drinks you here? Isn't your girlfriend wondering where you are?" Because surely a guy this beautiful had someone to go home to at night.

Austin looked down, "I actually don't have a girlfriend. I just moved here for work and I don't know many people outside of the ones I work with." He said blushing, "I'm actually here because my guy friends think I need to make new friends."

Sutton blushed, "Well I don't know if an empty bar in the middle of nowhere is going to get you very far." She laughed.

"I found you, didn't I?" His eyes sparkled and her smile faded.

She nodded slightly, "Yeah. Yeah, I guess you did."

"So you said this was your dad's favorite song? Did he change it to something less…old?" He joked.

Sutton looked down, "No. Actually he passed away." A sudden feeling of sadness washed over her and she fought hard to let another wave of tears consume her.

"Oh. I'm sorry." He said gently, "My dad passed away too. But I was younger."

Sutton looked up at him, "Oh. I'm sorry." She said softly. "My dad passed away 4 years ago. He was in a car accident."

Austin nodded. "I'm sorry. My dad had a heart attack when I was 7. I saw him pass away in my mom's arms. I think her face was more traumatizing then seeing his lifeless body in her arms."

Sutton looked up at him. Her eyes met his with an understanding that only someone who'd been through this typed of tragedy could understand. She smiled when he looked at her. She felt herself resting her head on his chest as the music slowed to an end. But she wasn't ready to break the bond. "I'm sorry about your loss." She said. She could feel his heart beating against her temple and she smiled. For once, she wasn't bothered by her problems with Thayer or the fact that she was just stood up tonight.

"I'm sorry for your loss too. It sucks." He said running his hand over her hair threading his fingers through her curls. She felt close to Austin, even though she just met him 20 minutes ago.

She looked up at him, "It really sucks." She said shaking her head.

For a minute they stayed on that dance floor, not moving. Both stared into the others eyes, "Would it be too forward if I asked to kiss you?"

Sutton's heart fluttered, she hadn't felt this way about a person in a long time. She looked down and smiled then looked up and shook her head, "No." She said shyly.

Austin smiled and leaned down, gently kissing her lips. Immediately her hand went to the back of his head and she pressed her hand down, encouraging him to deepen the kiss. When she pulled back, her head spun and she felt like someone had sucked all the oxygen from the room. "Why don't we go somewhere a little quieter." He suggested.

She looked back at the bar, "I have to pay."

Austin took her hand, "It's on me." He said with a wink.

Sutton blushed. "Thank you." She said.

When Austin came back from paying the bill for his drink and hers, he took her hand. "You ready?" Sutton nodded, "I don't live too far from here. I actually walked here."

"Oh." Sutton said grabbing her keys, "What about my car?" She pointed the key to her car and the lights flashed.

"We can take that. But it's only right up the street." He said pointing down the busy street past the bar.

They climbed into Sutton's car and she turned on the car. The radio blasted The Neighbourhood's Sweater Weather and she turned up the volume, "I love this song!" She said as she sang along.

Austin watched her with a smile as she joyfully sang along to the lyrics. Then he looked ahead, "It's right here." He said pointing to the first apartment complex complex. She took the left turn and followed his directions. When they arrived she killed the ignition and followed him up the stairs. The apartment was nice. Large space and it was clean. She had to appreciate a man who kept his living space clean. Almost immediately she was met by a grey fluffy cat rubbing her head on Sutton's leg. "Oh I'm sorry." He said lifting the cat, "This is Skyler. She won't bite you. She loves people. Clearly I don't give her enough attention." He said petting the cat under her chin. The cat lifted her head and purred.

"No. She's cute." Sutton said reaching up to pet the cat.

"Well come on in. Make yourself comfortable." He said turning on the living room light. The room was quaint. A blue sofa sat along a wall, on each side matching end tables with matching lamps on top. The coffee table was neatly organized, some magazines sprawled out across the top on display. The TV was large and hung on the wall above a large black cabinet. Two large shelves on either side of the TV were filled with books, DVD's, framed photo's of what must have been his family and friends back home. She walked over and looked at one. "Oh that's my mom and me when I was little."

Sutton looked up at him, "Cute!" She smiled, "Were you an only child?" She set the photo back down and walked to the couch.

"Yeah unfortunately." He said sadly. He sat beside her and touched her hand, letting his fingers gently linger over hers.

Heat rose up her arm and she looked at him, "Why do you say that?"

"I always wanted a sibling growing up. Someone to talk to. Someone to play hide and seek with. Someone to blame all my wrongdoings on. It was always hard to blame the broken lamp on our cat Muffin. Especially after she died. What about you?"

Sutton shook her head, "I have a little sister. Her name's Laurel. I blamed everything on her." she said laughing, "Oh and I have a twin sister! Her name is Emma."

Austin looked at her surprised, "Wait, there's two women in this world that look this beautiful?"

Sutton blushed, "Yeah. I guess." But when Austin pressed his knuckle under her chin and forced her to look at him, she suddenly felt warmth consume her. That familiar warmth she got when Thayer'd look at her just before she'd fall asleep in his arms. She pushed Thayer out of her mind. Austin's lips pressed gently against hers and she leaned into the kiss. She deepened the kiss and opened her mouth allowing his tongue to slip in just a little.

Before she realized what was happening, his hand was pushing the thick straps of her black dress down her arms and pressing gentle kisses to her shoulder. She looked at him. She wasn't sure what she was doing, but she wanted it. She wanted to feel like someone cared about her. She wanted to feel like she was special. She laid back against the couch and he laid on top of her. His hand gently rubbed her breast over her dress. She reached for his dress shirt and slowly unbuttoned each button with care. His chest was warm and she pressed her hands to his skin. He definitely wasn't a stranger to a gym, that was for sure. His back muscles were strong and she rubbed her hands down his back. He sat up only long enough to pull her dress over her head and then returned to kissing her. His hands ran through her hair and down her body. He rested his fingers along her panty line and gently pulled them down. He looked at her for reassurance and when she kissed him, he knew it was okay. She helped him with his pants and then his boxers.

Now they both laid naked on his couch, kissing passionately and exploring each others bodies. He looked at her, "Are you okay, Sutton?" He asked tenderly not wanting to hurt her.

Sutton looked at him. "I'm positive." She said then pulled him down for a kiss. He kissed her as he entered her. She let out a grunt and looked at him. He was beautiful. His smile, his eyes. The way his sweat left a sheen around his neck.

When it was over, Sutton laid there feeling like she'd just had the best sex of her life. Somehow halfway through, they'd managed to make it to his bedroom. Now she curled into his arm and he pressed gentle kisses on her sweaty forehead. "You're beautiful, Sutton. I hope you know that."

Sutton nodded, she knew that. But she was too high on adrenaline to speak. Her eyes fluttered as she fell into a deep sleep. After all the crying, the screaming, and the sex, she was exhausted. She'd deal with Thayer tomorrow morning.


	11. Thursday Morning- What Did I Do?

Thayer rolled over, his head throbbed. His arms flopped, "Sutton?" He grunted. When his hand landed on the empty space he sat up, "Sutton?" The room was empty. The sun poured through the window and the house was quiet. Thayer's head pounded as he sat up. He stood up and made his way out of the bedroom, "Sutton?" He stumbled up the stairs and pushed open his daughter's bedroom door, "Kendall? Where's mommy?" But her room was empty. "Where the hell is everyone?" He asked himself. He headed back down the stairs, and grabbed his phone from the bedroom. He pulled up her contact information and called her cell.

Sutton laid on her back, the sun warmed her face and she wasn't ready to get out of bed yet, It was odd not having a four year old crawling in her bed at the wee hours of the morning, and to be honest, she kind of enjoyed it. But when she opened her eyes she was surprised to find someone else by her side and not Thayer, "Oh. Um. Hi." She stuttered.

Austin smiled at her, "Good morning to you too." He said leaning over and gently kissing her. She smiled against his lips.

"Is that coffee I smell?" She said drawing in a deep breath.

Austin rolled over and sat up, "Why yes, yes it is. I take it you like coffee?" He reached for a clean undershirt from the laundry basket of clothes he hadn't had time to fold and put away. Sutton admired his back muscles as they flexed when he slipped the shirt over his body.

Sutton nodded, "I love coffee. Pretty much it's the only reason I wake up in the morning." She laughed, "Well that and a four year old wanting to play."

Austin swirled around and looked at her, "A four year old?" He questioned.

Caught! She thought. She forgot she had neglected to tell him about her daughter or her fiancé for that matter. She pinched her face and looked at him, "Yeah. I forgot to tell you about that." She tried to brush it off but Austin's serious face glared at her.

"You have a four year old?" He asked. His face went almost livid, "How could you forget to tell me you have a child?"

Sutton looked down in shame. She shrugged, "I don't know." She knew in the back of her mind that the fight she'd had with Thayer the night before wasn't Kendall's fault and she should have told Austin about her daughter, but all she wanted was to forget anything about that part of her life. "I'm sorry. I should have told you."

Austin nodded, "It's okay. Boy or girl?" He said buttoning his plaid dress shirt. He bent down and looked at his reflection in the mirror.

Sutton turned in the bed to look at him. "A girl. Her name is Kendall." She reached for her phone. She wasn't too surprised to find that no one had tried to call her all night. Figures Thayer wouldn't give a shit where she went or if she was even okay. Did he even remember the fight they had the fight before or the fact that he called his daughter a spoiled brat. She flashed Austin a photo of Kendall she'd taken a week earlier.

Austin smiled, "She's cute. She looks a lot like you." He reached for his loafers he'd worn the night before. "So what about her dad? I mean is he in her life?" Then he looked at her, "Wait, was that ok? I don't want to pry."

Sutton shook her head and looked down, she could hear Thayer's voice yelling at her in the back of her head. "He's…" Was she really about to tell this guy, this perfect, beautiful man that she was engaged? "He's around. I don't know. He acts like he wants to be in her life and the next he's skipping out on plans. I just don't know what to do with him anymore."

Austin looked at her, "You guys aren't together?"

Sutton looked down. Technically, yes. She wanted to say. "I don't know what we are anymore. That's who I got in a fight with last night." She so badly wanted to come clean to Austin.

"So you used me?" He said twisting his face at her.

Sutton looked up at him. Desperation in her face, "No. It wasn't like that." She said standing up. "It's just I was upset and you made me forget about everything that was going on. Look, you're a sweet guy." She said reaching out for his hand but he only pulled away.

"Don't. How could you lie to me?" He said shaking his head slowly.

"I didn't lie to you!" She protested. "I didn't tell you everything about me. But I didn't lie!"

Austin threw up his hands, "Forget it." He said. "I have to go to work." He grabbed his briefcase and keys off the bar in the kitchen. Sutton followed him out of the bedroom still in his t-shirt he let her borrow last night. "I don't think that my friends were exactly thinking a one-night stand with a mother of a four year-old was what I needed. Just go get dressed. I think we shouldn't see each other anymore." He said avoiding her eyes.

Sutton bit back tears as she huffed back to his bedroom grabbing her clothes from the floor. She stopped and looked at herself in the mirror, "How could you let this happen?" She said angrily at herself. She wanted to blame Thayer. If he hadn't have ditched her for that stupid party, she never would have slept with a man she'd only known for an hour beforehand. She wiped the tears from her eyes and put her clothes back on.

When she came back out, Austin stood up from the couch and looked at her, "I'm sorry Sutton. Look you're a beautiful girl, you really are, but you have a daughter and a god knows what with her father. I'm not really looking for complications right now."

Sutton bit her bottom lip and nodded, "I'm sorry." She said softly as she gathered her keys and her purse, "I should have told you about Kendall." She walked slowly down the hallway as Austin locked the apartment door. She stopped short of the stairs and turned around, "If you never want to see my face again, I understand." Then she reached up and gently kissed his cheek, "Thank you for last night. You really are an amazing guy. Someone will be so lucky to have you." Then she turned and headed down the stairs knowing she should head out to Emma's to pick up Kendall.

Austin nodded, "Thank you." Then he kissed her gently. "I'm sorry for hurting you if I did, Sutton." Then he headed down the stairs and flashed the lights of his mazda 3. Before she could think or respond he was already gone, pulling out of the parking space and out of the gated complex.

Sutton slid into the driver's seat of her own car and pressed her forehead against the steering wheel. She honestly didn't know how to feel. For one, she felt numb. She tried to push the fact that she had slept with the guy she'd only met 15 hours ago so far out of her mind. She turned on the ignition just as her phone rang. Her bluetooth kicked in and she looked at her dashboard. Emma. Sutton took a deep breath and pressed the answer button on the steering wheel, "hello?"

"Hey Sutton!" Emma said gently, "How was mom's?"

Sutton's heart pounded. She didn't actually make it to Kristin's last night. What if Emma had called her mom this morning to check on her and she told her she hadn't seen her since Easter? Sutton tried to calm her breath, "It was fine. I guess… Nothing really to report." She swore her voice wavered enough to make Emma question her whereabouts.

"Oh good!" Emma said, "Look Kendall wanted me to call you. She had a bit of a bad dream last night and got scared when she wasn't home with you. I told her we'd call you in the morning so she's been asking since breakfast."

Sutton's heart sank. After all of this. Thayer calling her spoiled and Sutton lying to Austin about her daughter, Kendall was the innocent one in all of this. "Can I talk to her?"

"Of course." Emma said.

After a few seconds, Kendall was on the phone. "Hi mama!" Her little voice said. Sutton could practically hear the smile on her face.

Sutton bit back tears, "Hi baby." She said softly. "Did you have a bad dream last night?"

"Yeah." Kendall said sadly, "But Auntie Emma let me sweep in her bed and said I could call you in the morning. Are you coming home soon?"

Sutton wiped her tear from her cheek, "Yeah baby. I'm gonna and get you in a few minutes ok?"

Kendall smiled, "Ok mama." She said, "I love you mama." Then she heard the phone click and the radio burst over the speakers making Sutton jump. She shut off the speakers and drove in silence. Part of her hated the person she'd become last night. Part of her knew that this was Thayer's fault, and what the hell had gotten into him anyways? She wondered. She drove the silent highway back towards her area of town. The familiar road signs and traffic lights. The same stores she'd patronized several times with Kendall in tow. She pull off the main highway down the long strip of road that led to her neighborhood.

When she arrived at her sister's house, Kendall was already outside pushing Ryleigh's stroller, but her little stature was too short to reach the handlebars. She stopped when she saw the car pull up. Sutton killed the ignition. As soon as she opened the door Kendall was forcing her way in, climbing up her lap and wrapping her arms around her mom's neck. "Mommy!" She shrieked.

Sutton looked at her, "Whoa honey, calm down." She said wrapping her arms around her tiny daughter's body. She lifted Kendall as she got out of the car. Emma was heading down the driveway and smiled at her sister, "Hey Em. Thanks again." She said.

"Oh it's fine!" Emma said hugging her sister, "Sorry that it didn't work out with Thayer." From the lawn, Ryleigh's cries filled the air and Emma looked back at her.

"It's whatever." She watched as Emma started back toward her daughter. Sutton reached out and grabbed her sister's arm pulling her back, "Can we talk?"

Kendall pulled on Sutton's arm, "Mommy!" She said, "Let's go." She whined.

Sutton looked down at Kendall and put up a finger, "Hold on, honey. Go get in your car seat and I'll be there in a minute."

Kendall looked at her, "No!" She protested. She stamped her foot and glared at her mom.

Sutton looked down at her, "Then wait, Kendall. I don't know what else to tell you." She snapped.

Emma looked at Sutton, "That was a bit harsh don't you think?" She said trying to get back to Ryleigh who was screaming even louder.

Sutton shook her head, "Well when Ryleigh's four you'll understand." She said, "Seriously though, can we talk? I did something."

Emma looked back at Ryleigh, "Sutton, can we talk later?" She inched back towards her own daughter.

Sutton reached out for Emma, desperate for her attention, "It was bad, Emma." She said.

Emma looked back at her sister, "How bad?"

"Pretty bad." She sighed.

Kendall pulled at Sutton's hand, "Momma. _please_?" She begged.

Emma looked at her twin sister, "Did you kill Thayer?"

"No you idiot! I didn't kill Thayer. It wasn't that bad." She said, but now Kendall was practically pulling Sutton back to the car.

"Just don't worry too much. As long as you're not running from the cops or anything." She said trying desperately to break away to retrieve her screaming daughter. "Call me, later ok?"

"I'm not running from the cops nor did I break the law." She said, but she really needed someone to talk to.

Emma looked back at her, "I told you not to do something stupid. How bad could it be? All you did was go to mom's… You did go to mom's?" she said lowering her eyes.

"Not exactly." Now Kendall had thrown herself on the ground screaming. Sutton bent down and picked her up, "Jesus kid, shut up."

Kendall looked at her mom wide-eyed, "I want to leave!" She demanded.

Emma looked at Sutton, "I'll call you later."

Sutton sighed not wanting to have to resort to this but knowing it was the only way she was going to get a chance to talk to her sister. She nodded and looked at her daughter, "You happy now? We're going home?"

"Yup!" Kendall said proudly. She wiggled out of her mom's arms and ran to the car. "Let's go see daddy!" She said with a smile on her face.

Sutton looked back at Emma but she was already busy with her own child. She sighed heavily, "Bye Emma." She called from the driver's side of her car.

Emma smiled at her, "I'm sorry Sutton. I'll call you later, ok?" Sutton nodded and climbed in the car and headed back towards her home wondering what she'd find when she got there.

**A/N: Sorry that some of you guys aren't really liking the way I've developed my characters. However, even from the start, Thayer wasn't the "nice" don't forget that he ditched his girlfriend when she got pregnant and then assisted in kidnapping his daughter. But keep reading. I promise that It won't end horribly.**


	12. Thursday Afternoon- The Lying Game

Thayer took in a long sip of his coffee hoping to wash away the pain in his throbbing head. He'd tried calling Sutton but she hadn't answered. When the door opened a little girls voice echoed down the hallway, "Daddy!" Kendall shrieked.

Thayer clenched his eyes, the noise was too much to bear. But he opened his eyes when the little girl crashed into his lap. He looked at her, "Hey darling." He said faking a smile.

It wasn't much longer before Sutton was there standing in the doorway, staring at him. He stood up, "Not now, Sutton." He said knowing where she wanted to go.

Sutton shook her head, "I don't want to talk about it, Thayer." She said as she reached her hand for Kendall, "come on sweetie. Let's go upstairs and play a game quietly."

Thayer looked at her, "What do you mean you don't want to talk about it? After everything that happened? You storming out of here and now you don't want to talk about it?" His voice raised and his head throbbed but he knew she wasn't going to let him get away with what happened that easily.

Sutton stopped short of the stairs and swirled around, "Excuse me? How the hell is this my fault?" She said loudly, "_You're _the one that stood me up! _You're _the one who came home drunk last night and _you're _the one who called our child spoiled! All I did was freak out on you for coming home drunk! I lost my dad to a drunk driver. I don't want Kendall to lose hers too." She looked down at her daughter, "Go upstairs baby and close your door. I'll be up in a minute." Kendall stood there, not really knowing what to do. She didn't understand why mommy and daddy were yelling at each other but she gave Thayer a desperate look.

"Go on, honey." He said in a softer tone. He gave her a half smile and she nodded then went up the stairs. When he heard her door shut, he looked back at his fiancé, "What the hell is wrong with you? Saying I called her spoiled right in front of her? Are you fucking stupid?"

Sutton's face was fuming, "How is this my fault?" She said putting a hand to her chest, "You came home and attacked me. But I'm over it, Thayer. If you want to go back to school then go. Be a fucking frat boy. Forget you have a daughter or me or a family. It's clearly what you want isn't it?"

Thayer rolled his eyes, "Don't bring that up."

"Oh no. I'm bringing it up especially after how you threw it in my face last night for the first fucking time!" Then her eyes filled with tears, "You stood me up to go to a party, Thayer. Do you know how much that hurts?"

Thayer's face softened. The sight of her in pain killed him. "I'm sorry baby. I shouldn't have done that. There's just a lot going on in my head. But it was wrong. The guys talked me into it and I thought I would have enough time to meet you for dinner then things got outta hand and I forgot and I'm so sorry, Sutton. I never wanted to hurt you."

Sutton let the tears fall down her eyes. She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed. She couldn't stop thinking about what she'd done the night before. She looked up at Thayer and she knew she loved him. She didn't love his actions or the way he'd ben treating his family lately, but she loved him. "It's fine, Thayer. I said I didn't want to talk about it ok?"

Thayer looked at her. It wasn't like Sutton to now have it out with him, especially after how he'd treated her last night. But he sighed and took a step towards him, "I love you more than you will ever know, Sutton. I never ever wanted to hurt you." Then he kissed her gently and wiped her tears, "Why don't we make up dinner. I'll cook and we can talk here."

Sutton shook her head, "I don't want to talk about that anymore. If it happens, it happens." Then she put her hand on his arm and kissed him, "Let's just go see Kendall before she starts to wonder why mommy and daddy were yelling at each other."

Upstairs, Kendall's voice could be heard from the other side of her door. Sutton pushed open the door and Kendall looked up at her, "Hi mama." She said smiling.

"Hi baby." She said moving into her room. Kendall had pulled her American Girl doll down from the shelf and her stuffed dolls were scattered across the floor. Sutton lifted her duffy bear and sat where it was laying. "What are you doing?"

"Playing with my dolly." She said matter-of-factly. Then she looked back at the plastic doll then dropped it on the ground, "mommy?"

"Yeah sweetie?" Sutton said picking up the doll she bought her for her daughter's fourth birthday. "Be careful with Saige, sweetie. She was an expensive doll."

Kendall nodded, "Mama, What is spoiled?"

Sutton felt her throat tighten and Thayer placed his hand on the small of her back, "Why do you ask honey?"

"Cause you said I was spoiled." She moved to her mom's lap and fell onto her legs.

Sutton looked at her, "Oh honey. I didn't mean to say that, baby."

Kendall looked confused, "But what does it mean?" She asked sadly.

"Sweet heart, you're not spoiled, ok?" She moved Kendall so she was looking her in the eyes. She pushed back some of the hair that had fallen out of her ponytail Emma pulled up for her this morning. "You are a wonderful little girl who has brought mommy so much joy and love."

Thayer leaned in and Kendall looked at him, "You shouldn't have heard what mommy said downstairs. But mommy and daddy love you so much."

Kendall looked even more confused, "So I'm not spoiled?" She asked still unsure of what this whole spoiled thing was.

Thayer shook his head, "No, baby. You're perfectly fine the way you are." He said kissing her forehead.

Sutton wanted to believe him. She looked at him but she couldn't help but wonder if he was lying. She felt like her life was built on a lie. Why not marry into a giant lie? It only seemed natural. She looked at Kendall, "Baby, sometimes mommies and daddies say things that they don't mean. Just like you, we make mistakes too. I'm sorry for calling you spoiled. It wasn't nice of me to say it and I'm sorry. Do you still love me?"

Kendall looked at her, "I still love you mommy. Do you love me?"

Sutton wrapped the little girl in her arms, "More than you could ever imagine, baby. You are the greatest thing to happen to me since the day I fell in love with your daddy." She said looking at Thayer. He looked up at her and smiled. It was nice to have her family back. Yet, that gnawing feeling that she was still hiding a secret from Thayer didn't seem to go away, but she tried to ignore it not ready to have another blow-up or even wore a break-up after everything they'd just gotten over.


	13. Retrograde

Emma slammed the hood of the SUV and walked to the back seat looking at Ryleigh fast asleep in her car seat. "Alright. I got the diaper bag and extra diapers. Are the bags all packed?" Ethan said walking out of the garage. He kissed Emma as he passed by.

"All the bags are packed, Ryleigh's all snuggly in her car seat, all that's left is to go." She said as she closed the door next to Ryleigh. This was the first real trip she'd taken since Ryleigh was born and she was excited to get to see the ranch where Ethan grew up. She climbed into the passenger's side of the car and closed her door. Ethan followed behind and turned on the car.

"I'm surprised my dad even wants to see Ryleigh. He wasn't exactly too impressed with our marriage." Ethan shook his head, "Why would he care to want to meet his granddaughter."

"Ethan," Emma started, "Don't. You're his son and he does love you." She reached over and rubbed his upper arm. "He is going to love that little girl because she is a part of him."

Ethan looked at her, "She's a part of me. A part of you. He wanted nothing to do with me so why should i let him be a part of our daughter's life?"

Emma shook her head, "Stop, Ethan. I doubt he has it out for you or her but he'd like to meet his granddaughter and why shouldn't Ryleigh know her grandfather?" She looked back at the baby but all she could see was the top of her head. Her thick head of hair stuck up past the edge of the car seat.

The ranch was bigger than she imagined. The ride up the drive was several minutes before they parked outside of a small house. When Ethan got out of the car, his father stopped cleaning one of his horses and walked over to his son. Emma smiled at him as she got out and headed around the car to get Ryleigh out of the car. Though the ride was over 2 hours, Ryleigh slept most of the way and only cried once when she was hungry. She lifted the infant from her seat and pressed her to her shoulder. Even though she was two months old now, she was still so tiny and fragile, Emma still feared she would break her tiny frame. Mr. Whitehorse looked at the baby and smiled, "Well kooky here." He said. He put his hand on Ryleigh's back and looked at her. Her light brown eyes blinked at the stranger, "May I hold her?"

Emma smiled, "Sure." She said lifting Ryleigh off her shoulder and passing her to Mr. Whitehorse. Ethan looked skeptical but smiled when Mr. Whitehorse smiled at the baby.

"Well hello my baby Ryleigh. You are just too precious." He said rubbing his thumb over her cheek. The baby looked at him and after a minute she grinned a wide smile at him. Mr. Whitehorse was in heaven.

Sutton sighed heavily. She had just battled Kendall for a nap and eventually Kendall settled down long enough to fall asleep. Now she laid back in her bed and grabbed the remote. Beside her, Thayer was typing on his laptop. "What are you doing?" She asked.

"Just answering e-mails." He said leaning over and kissing her.

"So, as much as it pains me to say this, I think you're right. We need money, Thay. Especially if you go back to school. So I applied for an assistant job at University of Arizona and I have an interview Monday morning with someone they only referred to as Mr. Redford." She said cuddling into Thayer's arm.

"Oh baby, that's incredible! But we need to talk." He said sitting up.

Sutton swallowed hard, "Did I do something?" She wondered.

Thayer shook his head, "No." Then he pulled an envelope from the table by his bed and handed it to her. The logo UCF printed in gold and black was stamped in the corner. She opened it, "I was accepted to the University of Central Florida in their engineering program, Sutton."

Sutton shook her head, "Florida? Thayer that's across the country. You can't go there!" She said flinging the paper back at him.

"I haven't accepted the offer yet, but it's one of the best programs in the country, Sutton. How could I not go?"

She looked at him, "Easy. You have a family. I'm sure UOA has a good engineering program. Plus if I get the job, we will be close to each other."

Thayer looked at her and sat up on his knees and grabbed her hands, "Come with me, Sutton. We can take Kendall to Disney and she can grow up by the beach and under the Florida sunshine. We can have our family there."

Sutton shook her head, even before he tried to sway her with Disney and the beach, "I'm not moving across the country. I'm not leaving Emma and Ethan and Ryleigh and I'm not leaving my mom and Laurel. How could you think that I'd be ok to move our family to the other side of the country?"

Thayer's heart pounded, "Then maybe I should go alone." He said.

Sutton looked at him, "You can't just go here? Why the hell does it have to be Florida?"

Thayer looked at her like she was an idiot, "They have an amazing program Sutton! I'd be stupid not to go! Why don't we at least take a trip to Orlando. We can go look at the school. Look at the area and schools and then we can go to Disney World. I know you've been wanting to take Kendall for a while now."

"I don't know Thayer. I don't like the idea of moving across the country so why would we even act like it's a possibility." She said, an queasy feeling set in her stomach and she laid back.

"It's our future, Sutton. Our daughter's future. With a good education, I can apply to better jobs, make money, save up for our daughter's college fund." He said looking at her.

Suddenly Sutton felt nauseous and she sat up, "Hold on a second." She said as she ran to the bathroom. She slammed the door shut and made it just in time to throw up in the toilet. After a few minutes she sat back.

"Baby? Are you okay?" Thayer said knocking on the bathroom door.

Sutton wiped her mouth with a piece of toilet paper and flushed, "Yeah. I'm fine." She said standing up and exiting the bathroom. "I don't know what got over me."

Thayer followed her to the sink as she brushed her teeth, "Well come on. Come lay down."

She wiped her mouth on the dark red hand towel, "I feel fine now, Thayer. I am sure something just didn't agree with my stomach." She said, but something inside her felt funny and she put her hand on her stomach.

She must've have fallen asleep, because when she opened her eyes again the room was dark, but the light on the bedside table was lit. She could hear Kendall outside her bedroom door banging on something and the TV was on. She sat up and grabbed her phone, she scrolled past the apps to the holy grail app and she opened it. Her eyes lit up with panic and she stood up. She ran to her bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. "I know I have an extra one around here somewhere." She told herself pushing past boxes of band aids, creams, cold medicines and tampons to a small pink box shoved in the corner. "A-ha!" She said grabbing it. She pulled out the contents of the box and slammed the bathroom door shut.

When she sat up a few minute's later her heart pounded, remembering this exact moment she'd been through once before and she stood up, looking down at the home pregnancy test. A pink little plus sign met her glare and she nearly double back, "Fuck!" She said. She pinked up the test and looked at it. What the hell was she going to do? She wondered. How was she going to tell Thayer? Then she looked up, "No!" She said, "No, no, no, no! Oh god I'm fucked!"

She grabbed her phone and called the only person she needed in a moment like this, "Hello?" Emma's voice said.

Sutton tried to silence her pounding heart, "I'm pregnant." She said abruptly.


	14. Like Mother, Like Daughter

**CONTENT WARNING!**

"Whoa Whoa Whoa!" Emma said over the phone, "Back up, slow down and rewind! You did what now?" Sutton had just confessed everything to her twin sister in that moment. Outside her bedroom, Sutton could hear Thayer saying something about dinner to Kendall.

She sat against the door to the bathroom. "I met this guy at a bar about a week ago. We danced and he was cute so I went back to his place and I slept with him." Her words sounded so dirty. This man she'd barely met's baby- his DNA- was inside her. Growing into a human being.

"You slept with a man you just met? Sutton what the hell is wrong with you?" Emma's voice was raised.

Sutton's hand moved to her belly. "I don't know, Emma. I was upset. Thayer basically called his daughter spoiled, told me I was a horrible mother and then you didn't want me. He made me smile, he made me feel special. I just let my emotions take over."

"And now you're pregnant." She said matter of factly.

"Yes, Emma. Now I'm pregnant with another man's baby. Do you realize how bad this is?" She felt tears fill her eyes, realizing how bad this was. Her family was ruined, "What the hell am I supposed to do?" She said through her tears. "I can't lose my family, Emma."

Emma shook her head, "Don't panic, Sutton. We will figure this out. Just like we did with Kendall, we will do it again. But start taking care of yourself now."

Sutton's head fell to the back of the door, "I have to make it look like it's his baby." She said plainly like she had no other choice.

"What? Sutton that isn't going to work. How are you going to make it look like it's his baby? Isn't he against a new baby?"

Sutton closed her eyes. "He is, but I have to sabotage him somehow. God, I'm so horrible. How did dad pull this shit off when mom had us?"

"I think that's a little different, Sutton. Him being the dad and all. Look don't do anything stupid and I know I told you that the night you got knocked up. So this time, please listen to me." Emma pleaded.

"I don't know what else to do, Emma. As soon as I start taking prenatal vitamins, Thayer's going to start asking questions and we haven't had sex in a time line that would make sense for me to get pregnant. I need to sleep with him and make it look like it was a mistake."

Emma shook her head, "Sutton, just stop and don't freak out."

Suddenly Sutton could hear Thayer's voice in the bedroom, "I gotta go." Sutton whispered then she hung up the phone.

"Honey? Are you in the bathroom?" Thayer knocked on the door.

Sutton scrambled to her feet and tossed the pregnancy test to the back of the cabinet and opened the door, "Hi." She said pulling Thayer in for a kiss.

"How are you feeling?" He said rubbing her back. She relaxed into his arms. His strength and familiarity was comforting and she didn't want him to let her go. She wrapped her arms around him pulling him into her.

She really didn't know how to answer that. She just found out she was pregnant with another man's baby, how was she supposed to feel? She looked at him and faked a smile, "Yeah, I'm feeling better, thanks for taking care of Kenzie while I napped."

He kissed her forehead, "No problem, baby. Did you nap ok?"

She nodded, "Yeah." She said kissing his lips. She bit his bottom lip gently and pulled on the back of his neck. He groaned with pleasure against her and deepened the kiss. She pulled back after a moment and looked seductively in his eyes, "I owe you one." She said kissing him again making it known that she wanted him.

Later that night after while Thayer put Kendall to bed, Sutton scrambled to find Thayer's stash of condoms. She knew they would be close at hand since he was so hellbent against a new baby he'd been wearing a condom anytime they'd been intimate, though it was rarer than it had been since the big fight, but tonight Sutton hoped to break that dry spell. She looked back hoping he was still up in Kendall's room and she grabbed a safety pin from the drawer. Carefully, she poked a hole through the middle of a few of the packages and then laid them back in the box.

It was several minutes before Thayer entered the room, "She's out cold." He reported. He climbed into his side of the bed and he looked at her, "So where were we." He said not wasting any time. He leaned into her body and drew in her lips. He dragged his tongue gently across her lips and she moaned.

He slid her loose tank top off her body and tossed it to the floor. Her breasts were firm and his hands gently massaged each of them before he slid his hand down her panties, teasing her. Instictually, she spread her legs to allow him better access to her body. He moved over her so he was laying on top of her and he gently slid his finger inside of her. She moaned softly, "Uhhh Thayer." She whispered. Her body shivered under his manipulations and she sat up. "Not so fast, mister." she said seductively as she helped him remove his shirt and pants. He was definitely ready for her and he laid her back, hovering over her warm body. "I need you, Thayer." She said biting his lip in need. She moved her hand down and positioned him at her entrance, "Please Thayer."

Thayer looked at her, her brown eyes begged him to enter her, but he knew better than that, "Condom." He said plainly.

Sutton rolled her eyes, "You're such a buzzkill." She said, "Just pull out before you cum."

Thayer looked at her and shook his head, "I told you," He said kissing her, "I'm not ready for a baby."

Sutton slumped back against her pillow, "Fine." Then sat up, "At least let me put it on." She said seductively.

Thayer looked at her, "Can't turn down that kind of an offer."

Sutton smiled as she crawled over him, letting her breasts gently brush against the tip of his penis and he shuttered. She reached into the box and pulled out one of the broken packs. She gently opened it and put it on him, making it look unplanned. Then she crawled over him and let him enter her.

After it was done, Sutton laid back on the bed, That should do it. She thought. Now she'd just have to wait a week or two and confess that she missed her period and make it look like the baby was his all along. She leaned over and kissed him, "Good night, I love you." She said. She cuddled into his arms and let herself fall asleep. Planning a fake pregnancy sure was exhausting, she thought.


	15. What Do You Mean You're Pregnant?

"Sutton?" Thayer gently knocked on the door to the bathroom, "Baby, are you okay?" He said. It was early morning and she'd been throwing up for the past ten minutes. She didn't remember having morning sickness this badly when she was pregnant with Kendall.

She flushed the toilet and sat up, "Yeah. I'm fine." She said as she exited the bathroom reaching for the toothbrush and toothpaste.

Thayer followed her and looked at her reflection in the mirror, "You're not sick, are you?" He asked.

She turned and looked at him like he was crazy, "I don't know what's wrong." She said as she put some toothpaste on the brush.

Thayer put his hands on the counter and looked down, clearly something was on his mind and he looked at her shaking his head, "Are you pregnant?" He asked.

Sutton chewed her bottom lip. This was it, her time to break the news. She put the toothbrush down and turned off the water then she turned and looked at him. She drew in a breath, "How'd you know?"

Thayer shook his head, "Honestly?" She shrugged, "After we had sex, I noticed a small tear in the condom. I prayed that maybe nothing would happen, but then you started puking pretty much every morning and I knew it." He looked down then looked back up at her, "I know I said I wasn't ready for another baby, but there's not a whole lot we can do here." He took her hands. Sutton looked down at the joining, "This is our baby and I will love it no matter what." Sutton swallowed hard fighting back tears. Then he lifted her chin and gently kissed her.

When he turned and left, she looked at her reflection. This is what you wanted isn't it? She thought. Then why does it feel so shitty. She shook her head this wasn't going to be easy. She knew she needed to tell Thayer the truth about the baby, but she knew if she did, it would be the end of the family she had. She knew she needed help and she knew just who to ask. She was suddenly jolted from her thoughts by the feeling of two arms wrapped around her legs. She looked down. Kendall stood about hip height and she looked up. Her brown hair was long and scraggly, "Hi mommy!" She said squeezing Sutton's legs.

Sutton bent down and lifted her daughter, setting her on the counter, she looked Kendall in the eyes, "hi baby." She said kissing her daughter's forehead, "Did you sleep ok?" Kendall nodded. Sutton looked up in the mirror knowing the lie she was about to tell her daughter could potentially ruin everything she could have with that little girl in the future. "sweetie, mommy needs to tell you something." By now, Thayer had come back in the room and was standing in the doorway. Sutton looked at him and he moved to her side then she looked back at Kendall, "Sweetie, mommy and daddy are going to have a new baby."

Kendall's face pinched and she looked at her mom, "What does that mean?"

"Well, you know how Auntie Emma had a baby growing in her tummy and then the baby came out and now we have cousin Ryleigh?" Kendall looked at her mom, not liking where this conversation was going but she nodded, "Ok well mommy has a baby growing in her tummy now and soon you will have a little brother or sister."

Kendall's face looked disgusted, "I don't want a brother or a sister." She said.

Thayer looked at his daughter, "Honey why don't you want a brother or sister?" He asked gently touching the four year olds hand.

Kendall pulled her hand away, "Stop it, daddy!" She demanded, "I don't like Ryleigh. Everybody loves her more than me."

Sutton shook her head, "Honey, we talked about this. Mommy and Daddy, Emma, Ethan, Laurel and Grammy all love you so much. They won't love you any less with a new baby." She looked at Thayer knowing that this was bound to happen.

Thayer picked up the little girl, "Well the good thing is the baby won't be here for a while in the meantime, we can go with mommy to the doctors and hear the new babies heartbeat."

"When will the baby be here?" She asked wrapping her arms around Thayer's neck.

"Well not for a while, baby. The baby will probably be here just before you start school. Are you excited to start Kindergarten?" He asked trying to drop the baby topic.

Kendall looked at him, "I don't know. I guess." She said, "Mommy took me to see my school." She said happily. Just before she found out she was pregnant, Emma, Sutton and Kendall had taken a trip to a small private school to look at where Kendall would be spending so much of her time. The school was a small academy attached to a church. The class sizes were small and Sutton liked the idea of fewer students to teacher ratio. But the tuition would be more than they would be able to afford. Which was part of the reason why Sutton started looking for work.

Sutton looked at her daughter, "Did you like the school?" She asked as she pulled out her black blazer from the closet.

Kendall looked at her mom then back at Thayer. It was clear she was angry with Sutton about the baby, "Daddy? Can I have some juice?" Sutton's heart dropped. Hopefully she'd get over the new baby drama and stop shutting her out. It hurt to see her daughter so upset with her. She reached for her pearl earrings that Kristin had handed down to her and she looked in the mirror.

She turned to Thayer, "do I looked like a career woman?" She asked modeling her black pencil skirt and black blazer. She had straightened her hair and her makeup was simple and sophisticated.

"I'd hire you." He said still holding Kendall. He looked at his child, "Do you think mommy looks pretty?"

Kendall's face scrunched, "No!" she said.

Sutton's heart dropped but she tried not to let her daughter see her pain, "Sweetie, why do you say that?"

Kendall looked at her, "I don't like you mommy." She spat.

Thayer looked at Kendall, "Kendall, that's not nice!" He said firmly. "I'm sorry you don't like mommy having a new baby in her belly but you can't talk to me or mommy like that, do you hear me?"

Kendall's face was clearly angry but she listened to her dad's words and she looked at Sutton, "I sowwy mommy. Please don't have a new baby?" She pleaded.

Sutton shook her head and looked at the time, "I'm going to be late." She said grabbing her keys, she hurriedly kissed Kendall and then Thayer. "I'll be home before lunch. I love you both."

Thayer followed her out to the front door, "Good luck, baby!" He said as she flew out the front door.

The administration building of the university was huge and she'd gotten lost several times, having to ask for directions from students hurriedly passing by. But when she found the right room, she stopped and calmed her nerves before she opened the door. A young woman smiled at her, she must've been about Sutton's age, "Can I help you?" She asked.

Sutton pushed back a lock of her brown hair, "Um, yeah. I'm here for a job interview."

"With Mr. Redford?" She asked looking at a list on a clipboard.

"Yes." Sutton confirmed.

The young woman smiled, "Ok I will let him know you're here." Then she picked up the phone. A few seconds later she hung up the phone and looked at Sutton, "He'll be out on a minute, if you'd like to have a seat."

Sutton smiled and found a seat by the door. It wasn't long before two men in suits were standing before her, "Miss. Mercer?" One man said, "You can go ahead and follow us."

Sutton lifted her eyes from her phone to look the two men in the eyes but her heart nearly dropped when her brown eyes met a very familiar face.


	16. It's Not That Easy

Sutton's heart pounded, staring up like a deer in headlights. Get it together, Sutton. She told herself. Her hand instinctually went to her stomach, the flutter of her little babies movements- or maybe it was just nerves- were too much to bear. She swallowed hard and thrusted it out her hand, "Hi, I'm Sutton Mercer." She said looking at the older man.

The man smiled and shook her hand, "Hi Sutton. My name is Dr. Hawthorne. This is my assistant Austin Redford."

Sutton tried desperately to keep a straight face, "Hi there." She said shaking the familiar hand of the man she'd slept with.

Austin smiled at her, "Hi." Then he turned and followed Dr. Hawthorne down a long hallway to a small office in the back corner. "Have a seat, Miss. Mercer." He said to her pointing to a black chair in the corner.

Sutton sighed as she sat down and straightened the lapels of her blazer. She looked up at Austin but he didn't even look her way. She looked at the older man who was reviewing her resume, "So Sutton," He said finally looking up, "Tell me a little bit about yourself."

Sutton took her eyes away from Austin and focused on Dr. Hawthorne. She drew in a deep breath, "Ok," She started, "Well my name is Sutton Mercer and I'm 22 years old. When I was in high school I worked as an assistant for my father's practice before he passed away. I have a wonderful daughter named Kendall she's three and I'm engaged to a great guy named Thayer." She looked at Austin but he kept his eyes low.

Dr. Hawthorne nodded and smiled, "You are a mother?" He said trying to get to know her better.

Sutton nodded, "Yeah." She said smiling, "She wasn't exactly planned, but she's been the greatest thing to happen to me since I met my twin sister."

Dr. Hawthorne nodded with a smile, "So you worked for your dad's company? Can you tell me what you did while you worked with him?"

Sutton nodded, she told the man about the job she'd worked in high school before she got pregnant. Dr. Hawthorne smiled and looked over at Austin, "Mr. Redford, do you have any questions for Miss. Mercer?"

Sutton's heart pounded and she looked up at him but Austin just looked at her and smiled. "No. You sound like a good candidate for the position. You will be my assistant, will you be able to handle that?" Sutton looked at him and looked at her with a knowing look, as if to say can you handle this given our past.

When it was over, she followed Austin back out from the office, but when she saw an empty office she pushed Austin in the room and shut the door, "What are you doing here?" She asked pushing her brown hair behind her ear. She felt nauseous and this time not from the baby.

"I work here." He said lowering his voice, "What the hell are you doing here?" He said moving in close to her. Heat rose between them and she looked at his lips remembering their sweet taste. She licked her lips wanting to kiss him but she refrained.

"I'm trying to get a job." She said looking at him, "I have a family to provide for." Then she looked out the large window at the empty hallway just knowing that they could be caught at any moment, "I didn't realize this was to be your assistant. How the hell did you not recognize my name on the application?" She said in a whispered yell.

"All I know was that your name was Sutton. How was I supposed to put two and two together?" He said closing the space between them.

Sutton took a step back, "Well it's not like Sutton is a very popular name."

Austin looked her in the eyes and brushed a fallen lock of hair behind her ear, "It's not like I read the popular baby names in my free time." He moved closer to her and touched her upper arm.

Sutton looked at the gesture and then back at him, "Don't be an idiot." She snapped, "It doesn't take a genius to think 'hmm, Sutton isn't a name you hear often.'"

Austin smiled at her, "You are cute when you get mad. You know you have the job right?"

Sutton narrowed her eyes at him, "Weren't you the one who said we shouldn't see each other anymore?" She snapped.

Austin nodded slightly, "I _may _have said that, yes." He shrugged, "But that was then."

Sutton shook her head, "Look," She leaned in close to him desperately wanting to kiss the man, "this is strictly a platonic, professional relationship. Got it?"

Austin looked at her for a long moment before he closed the small gap between them pressing his lips to hers and after several seconds he pulled away and looked deep in her eyes, "You got it, Miss. Mercer."

Sutton looked at him slightly breathless from the kiss, "So I'll see you Monday." She said. then she turned and opened the door leaving him there to watch her as she firmly walked out of the office to the lobby.

When she got home later that morning, she slumped onto the couch and looked blankly at whatever kids show Kendall was watching and Thayer looked at her, "Did it go well?" He asked sitting next to her. She looked at him. She'd spent pretty much the entire drive home desperately trying to push Austin's kiss out of her mind.

She looked at her fiancé, "I got the job." She said but she clearly wasn't happy about it.

Thayer about knocked her over at the news, "Baby that's amazing!" He said hugging her. She looked at him and placed her arms around him giving him a gentle pat in the back.

When he pulled out of the hug, she looked at him, "Yeah, it's great Thay, but what about you? What about school?" She said remembering the fight they'd had about his going back to school.

He looked down clearly upset but when he looked at her he smiled. He took her hands in his, "I guess school isn't going to happen the way I want it to. I can't leave you and our children. Especially not again, not with the new baby coming." He said touching her belly.

Sutton swallowed hard, "So what you're just going to not go to school?" She looked over at Kendall not wanting to make a big deal in front of her daughter, but Kendall was clueless to anything they were saying as she focused on episode of PAW Patrol. She sucked her thumb and stood there blankly staring at the screen.

Thayer shook his head, "I'll apply to school's around here. I know it's not ideal, but it's better than nothing and I'm not going to leave my babies again." His words seemed to sting Sutton. She looked down as the baby inside her fluttered.

Kendall looked back and when she saw her mom she wandered over to Sutton's lap and crawled up. She wrapped her arms around her mom's neck and cuddled into her body. Sutton put her arms around her daughter and held her tightly. She hated lying to her family like this. Was it really better than telling Thayer the truth? She wondered. She kissed the top of Kendall's head and looked at Thayer, "Are you okay with that?"

He looked at Kendall, her little blue eyes blinked back at him and he smiled at her then he looked back at Sutton, "It's not about what I want anymore. You were right, it's about what's best for our family. I told you that I was here for you and Kendall and now I'm all in for this new one. I'm not leaving again, Sutton." His hand reached out and touched her hand that rested on Kendall's leg.

His finger looped around hers and she looked at him. How the hell could Ted have lied her whole life to Kristin about the truth with her? This baby wasn't even here yet and she was having trouble every time Thayer touched her belly or said good night to his future child. She looked down, "I'm sorry Thayer. I know that you wanted to go to Orlando, I know it was important to you." She shook her head, "This is all my fault." She said.

Thayer's hand gently brushed her fingertips and shook his head, "No sweetheart. This isn't any one persons fault. I should have noticed the rip. But you know what? Everything happens for a reason. Maybe this baby will be exactly what we need in our lives." He said holding her hands. He leaned over and kissed Kendall who was falling in and out of sleep then looked at Sutton. "This family means more to me than anything else. So if I have to go to school around here, then I guess I will. But you and Kendall and the baby come first. Everything else is just detail." He said kissing her.

Sutton's head fell against his forehead, "I'm so sorry." She whispered, knowing he wouldn't understand her apology but it felt like the only thing she could say to him was how sorry she was.


	17. Sutton Mercer: The Human Wrecking Ball

Sutton nervously bounced her leg as she waited for Rebecca to show up. She sat outside in the warmth of the summer at a cafe a mile from her house. When Rebecca's familiar cadillac pulled into the only parking spot left, Sutton stood up. "Hi mom." She said as she tried to calm her nerves.

Rebecca pulled open the gate to the cafe patio and joined her daughter at the rod iron table. She opened the plastic covered menu and browsed the sandwiches after she gave her daughter a hug, "I'm surprised you wanted to have lunch with me." She said looking at the list of cocktails.

Sutton sighed, "Well I actually wanted to ask you something." She said fiddling with the corner of the menu. She thought about that little mass of baby growing inside of her. Her nerves soared and her heart pounded. "Actually, I have to tell you something."

Rebecca looked at Sutton, seeing the serious look in her daughter's face and she set the menu down, Is everything okay?" She said looking to her daughter's hand, the engagement ring sparkled under the sunlight.

"Good afternoon, ladies." A waiter said placing two glasses of ice water in front of them, "Can I start you guys off with something to drink?"

Sutton looked up at the guy, "Um, I'm good with the water. Can I get some lemon?" The waiter nodded.

Then he looked at Rebecca, "Iced Tea would be good, with a lemon?" The waiter nodded and then walked away, "So everything is okay?" She said returning her attention to her daughter. She lifted the wine glass of water and pressed it to her lips.

Sutton nodded, "Yeah. Actually, um. I wanted to tell you something. I'm um," She swallowed hard and looked down, "I'm actually pregnant again."

Rebecca set down the glass and smiled, "Oh sweet heart!" She said beaming, "That is wonderful."

Sutton was less enthused and she looked down and nodded, "I guess so." She said softly.

Rebecca's smile nodded, "You guess so? Sutton were you not planning on this?"

Sutton shook her head, "No, no. I was thinking about another baby ever since Ryleigh was born especially with Kendall going to school next year, I just miss that new baby life."

Rebecca nodded, "And Thayer, how about him?"

Sutton shrugged, "That's just it. He didn't want a new baby and then he started acting stupid and immature." She felt a tear well up in her eye.

"How so?" Rebecca said taking her daughter's hand. Just then, the waiter returned with Rebecca's tea and a bowl of sliced lemons for Sutton's water. She looked up at him and thanked him.

"Can I get you guys anything to eat?" He asked taking his notepad out from his apron pocket.

Rebecca looked at the menu, "Can I have a half of the French dip with a side salad? Dressing on the side."

The man nodded and looked at Sutton, "And what can I get for you?" He asked

Sutton looked down, "Can I have a caesar salad and french onion soup in the sourdough bread bowl?" The waiter nodded and then turned away again. Sutton looked at her mom, "He's been hanging out with these losers that he knew back in LA. He stood me up for a date to go to a party and when he came home he was completely drunk."

"He drove home drunk?" Sutton nodded slowly and Rebecca shook her head, "That's completely not safe."

"I know and when I said that it scared me, he just got mad at me." She said, "But we talked it out and then he started talking about wanting to go away for school to some college across the country in Florida. We got in a fight and I was so upset." She looked down then she looked up at her mom, "I did something bad, mom." She confessed.

Rebecca looked at her daughter, "What did you do?" She said narrowing her look.

"I _might _have met a guy." She confessed, suddenly finding herself spilling her information to Rebecca, "And I don't know what to do? Now Thayer thinks this baby is his and seeing how he wants to just do the right thing and be a good father. How could I have done this to him?" She said tearing up.

Rebecca nodded, "You met a guy at a bar and slept with him?" She said slowly, making sense of her ramblings, "And now you're having his baby?"

Sutton slowly nodded, "Mom, what am I supposed to do? I can't lie to Thayer for the next 18 years and I'm certainly not going to lie to Kendall." Suddenly guilt washed over her, "Am I a terrible person for wanting to get an abortion? I mean, it's not too late is it?"

Rebecca slowly shook her head, "Oh honey, do you realize what you're saying?" She said taking her daughter's hands rubbing the skin of her thumb.

Sutton rolled her eyes, "Yeah I get it. I'm killing a baby." She said trying not to really let that sink in. Rebecca shook her head her own tears filling her eyes. Sutton looked at her with a questioning look, "Mom, what's wrong?"

Rebecca wiped the fallen tears, "It's not that simple, Sutton. I never told anyone this, not even Ted, but when I was pregnant with you and Emma, I was so desperate for a way out, I wanted an abortion. Believe me when I say I know how you feel Sutton. You're lying to your family. Your father felt the same way. He'd tell me about how awful he felt about everything and how he'd wished he could take back the night we slept together. I felt terrible for putting him through that but he was just as guilty I was for your lives. We make mistakes, Sutton."

"Mistakes? Mom this is a child's life." she said shaking her head, "Me and Emma were babies. We were your children. How could you kill us?" Suddenly she felt angry at Rebecca for considering abortion as a solution for her problem but her stomach fluttered when she realized she wanted exactly what she was getting mad at Rebecca for.

"I didn't kill you, Sutton." Rebecca protested.

"Obviously, mom!" She said getting mad.

"That was the hardest day of my life, Sutton. I sat there with my hands on my stomach. I knew that I was having twins. I knew they were little girls and I even had names picked out for you. But when I thought about those conversations with Ted, seeing the guilt on his face, it was the only way I could fix our mistake."

Sutton shook her head, "Your mistakes. I'm mistake." She said. Her hand went to her belly and nodded, "Just like this little one." She looked desperately at her mom, "I don't know what to do. I can't keep lying to Thayer but thinking about ending this innocent life is harder than I was thinking it was going to be." She shook her head just as her food was being placed in front of her and she pushed the plate away.

"Honey," Rebecca soothed pushing Sutton's plate closer to her, "First of all, don't panic. Second of all, you need to eat because for now, you're still carrying a baby inside of you and you need to take care of that life. It depends on you."

Sutton looked at her soup, the melted cheese over the brown liquid did look delicious. She lifted her spoon and sipped some of the contents. She looked at Rebecca, "I'm doing it." She said firmly as if the soup delivered some kind of secret answer.

Rebecca looked at her, "Are you sure about that?"

"Don't try to talk me out of it. I can't lie to Thayer anymore. The worst part is that I work with that guy now. I have to see him every day." Sutton shook her head.

"Wait, what guy?" Rebecca said setting down her sandwich.

Sutton sat back in the iron chair and pointed to her stomach, "It's father!" Every time she said that it felt slimier than the last.

Rebecca looked at Sutton like she was nuts, "Wait, you met this guy at a bar, slept with him, got pregnant with his baby and now you work with him? How the hell did that happen?"

"I don't know! I just saw an ad for job as an office assistant and thought I could do it with the work I did at dad's office. I didn't know that he was the guy I was going to be working for." She dropped her head and breathed heavily. "God! I can't do this any more!"

"Ok, stop. This over dramatic attitude has to stop. Have you told Kendall about the new baby?"

Sutton scoffed and picked her head up, "Oh yeah and that's the other thing. My 3 year old hates me now because she doesn't like not being the fucking princess anymore."

Rebecca took another bite of her sandwich, "She'll get over that, Sutton. But if you've told Thayer and Kendall you're pregnant and then you abort the baby, what are you going to do when the baby never comes around?"

Sutton shook her head, "I don't know!" SHe threw up her hands. "Maybe I'll just tell them I had a fucking miscarriage because I'm so stressed all the damn time! You know, my lives been such a huge lie, I don't even know the truths from the lies anymore. I might as well just stick to what I know best."

"Ok, stop. Look, you can get through this without harming the baby, ok?" Rebecca said. Sutton nodded, "Now. You've told Thayer, have you told this Austin guy, yet?"

Sutton looked at her and shook her head, "No," she said slowly, "That would be stupid."

Rebecca glared at her, "How is telling the father of your child that you're pregnant, stupid?"

Sutton shuttered, "Can you just stop with this father of my child shit? Thayer is this babies father, maybe not biologically, but if I don't abort it and get pregnant with Thayer's kid then I am going to lose everything I have. Once Thayer knows the truth, I'm fucked. I may even lose my daughter!" She said trying desperately to not burst into tears but the thought of losing her daughter was too much to handle.

"You won't lose your daughter. I can't promise that you won't lose Thayer, but you won't lose Kendall. There is more than just him taking her away from you."

"Even if he doesn't legally take her from me when she finds out about all of this, how do you think she'll feel? I love that little girl more than anything. She is the only thing that keeps me going. How can I lose that?" She shook her head and then dropped it to her hands, "How could I be so stupid? How did I let myself make such a huge mistake?" She shook head when she realized how badly all of this could affect Kendall's life. "I just want this fetus out of me. I don't want to potentially lose my family. Get it out of me." She said desperately, she bit back tears, "Please just get it out of me?" She begged.

"Look, baby as badly as it kills me to see you like this, you did this. You had unprotected sex with someone you didn't care about and now you're dealing with the consequences. Honestly, you need to tell Austin before you do anything."

"Are you fucking nuts? You want me to tell the babies father, 'hey Austin, I know we slept together that one time and now you don't want to see me but oh yeah we work together and oh by the way, I'm pregnant with your child. Yeah that'll go over just wonderful. Almost as wonderful as it will be when I tell Thayer this baby isn't his." Her tears were falling harder now. Her body shook uncontrollably. She wanted to rip her skin off, pull out this fetus from inside of her and just leave on the ground to die. Sure it was harsh, she thought. But her family, her daughter and Thayer, they were everything to her and this little mistake. This stupid consequence of irrational thoughts and emotions was going to ruin it all if she didn't get rid of it now. She pushed back her chair, the metal scrapping against the concrete.

Rebecca stood up after her, "where are you going?" She asked.

"To deal with this problem." She said shaking.

Rebecca reached out and pulled her over-emotional daughter into her arms and squeezed her tightly, "Baby, you need to calm down. You can't drive like this. You can barely stop shaking."

Sutton relaxed into the comfort of her mom's embrace, "Just make it go away." She sobbed.


	18. Do Something, Quick!

"Hi, Are you Austin Redford?" Rebecca said gently knocking on the open office door. She'd managed to weasel some information from Sutton about who this man was and she found her way to his office after she followed Sutton safely home.

Austin looked up from a stack of papers and immediately smiled and stood up, "Yes, hello." He said sticking his hand, "Can I help you?" He said sitting back down and inviting her to sit as well.

Rebecca sat and placed her Chanel handbag on the side of his desk, "I'm actually concerned about my daughter." She said folding her hands over her lap.

Austin looked at her and then turned to his computer, "Is she a student of mine?" He asked.

Rebecca shook her head, "No. My daughter is Sutton. Sutton Mercer."

Upon hearing the name, Austin froze and turned to look at Rebecca, "You're Sutton's mom." He said. His body was tense and rigid. "Um, ok. Well what is it about her that concerns you? I gave her the job."

Rebecca smiled, "I know and I know she's grateful to have the job after all, she's raising a wonderful little girl. Have you had the chance to get to meet Kendall?"

Austin narrowed his eyes, "No. I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."

Rebecca smiled, "Oh I'm so sorry," She said putting her hand to her heart, "My name is Rebecca Rybak. I got married not too long ago which is why the last name is different from my daughters." She laughed.

Austin nodded, "Right, Rebecca. I have nothing to do with your daughter anymore. What happened between us was a one time thing. I don't know what she told you, but it didn't mean anything. I know she's got a fiancé and a daughter. I don't want to get in the way of that. That's why I told her we couldn't see each other anymore. But then when I saw her at the interview, I just couldn't help myself ma'am, your daughter is beautiful."

Rebecca smiled, "Thank you. You may think you have nothing to do with Sutton anymore but the truth is you have a lot to do with Sutton. You see," She sat up straighter in her chair, "What happened between you and my daughter as wrong as it was and as stupid as it was on both your parts, what's even stupider is the fact that you are the father to the baby my daughter is pregnant with."

There was a long silence before anyone spoke. Rebecca sat there staring at him. His blank but shocked expression needed no words. "Sutton is pregnant?" She stumbled over the words, "With my child?"

Rebecca nodded plainly as if she was answering a mundane question, "Yes. But here's the thing. She has a family. You know that. She's engaged to my son-in-law. He is the father of Kendall and now he believes he is the father to this child as well. He's changed his life to be a father to Kendall and this baby and it's killing my daughter to lie to him. However, telling him the truth will only make things worse. Possibly ruin the marriage and her family. You don't want her to ruin her family, do you?"

Austin thought for a long moment, still trying to disgust the news and maybe a little mad that here he was receiving the news that the woman he'd had a one-night stand with was pregnant with his child not from Sutton herself, but from her mother. "I don't want to ruin her family. That was what I told her before, but now I don't know what to do. I certainly can't be a father."

Rebecca put her hands up, "No one said you had to be a father." She said as if her telling him of his impending child's birth was something he could be a part of.

"Are you kidding me? I am a father. I have to be in my child's life." He said shaking his head.

"Well you better do something quick. Sutton's getting an abortion."

Just as he was starting to gain his heart rate back and wrap his head around the fact that he was having a baby, his heart dropped again and looked at her, "What? How could she do that?"

Rebecca glared at him, "She ruined her family. She lied to her fiancé and her daughter. If he ever finds out the truth, it will ruin everything she has!"

"Then she never should have slept with me. She's just as guilty as I am." He protested.

"No one said you were guilty. I'm just explaining to you why she wants to have an abortion." Rebecca tried to reason with him.

Austin stood up, "I'm not letting her kill my child." He grabbed his jacket and moved from the desk to the door, "Thank you for letting me know." He said turning to Rebecca. He gave her a weak but panicked smile. He turned suddenly and flew out the door.

Thayer was just walking down the stairs from putting Kendall down for her nap when a loud bang on the door startled him. He rushed to the door and flung it open, "Hey man, do you mind? My daughter is sleeping." He said angrily. He stared eye to eye with Austin.

Austin looked down, "So you must be Thayer." He said finally looking up.

Thayer stared at him, "Yeah. I'm Thayer. Can I help you with something?" He said blinking at this guy that he'd never met before.

Austin looked up and smiled, "Actually, is Sutton here?" He said looking past Thayer into the long stretch of the townhouse.

Thayer narrowed his eyes in suspicion, "What do you need from Sutton?" He said cautiously.

Austin looked at the other man and smiled, "I'm Austin Redford, I just hired Sutton for a position as my assistant and I just needed to ask her a few questions."

"Don't you think it's a little unprofessional to show up at her house to ask business related questions." But what Thayer didn't know wouldn't kill him.

"Thay, who's that at the door?" Her voice came from the back of the house. Austin looked up and smiled. She wore a tank top and athletic shorts. Her hair was pulled up in a messy bun but somehow even that made Austin's heart skip a beat. When Sutton looked up she stopped dead in her tracks, "Austin?" Her voice said panicked. She looked up at Thayer.

"He said he needed to ask you something about the job." Thayer said stepping outside. The moment Austin stepped into the house, Sutton pushed him right back out and slammed the door.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She said in a whispered yell. "Do you realize how dangerous this is?"

Austin shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest. He looked down and then up at Sutton, "Are you pregnant?" He asked plainly.

Sutton seemed to freeze, "What?" She said trying to cover her terrified expression.

Austin looked up, "Oh my God!" He said loudly. Sutton pressed her hand to his chest making hushed sounds.

"Stop. My fiancé and daughter are in there." She looked down and nervously dug her barefoot into the cement. "Yes. I am pregnant. How the hell did you know?"

Austin fought back tears. Hearing it from her was harder than hearing it from an outside source. He shook his head in disbelief, "Your mother came to my office. Told me you were having my goddamn baby and that you had an abortion." Sutton pushed on him again, pleading with him to keep the conversation quiet, "How could you, Sutton? That was our baby."

Sutton shook her head, "No! It was my baby. My stupid mistake." Now she fought her own tears, "I can't lose my family. I realize how stupid my mistake was and maybe the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, but I love Thayer and I love Kendall. I don't want to ruin it."

Austin shook his head, tears falling from his eyes, "So that's it? You just killed my child?"

Sutton looked out at her car avoiding his tears, "No." She said plainly, "Not yet." she looked up at him, "But that doesn't mean I'm not still going to do it."

Austin stared at her, "How could you do that to me?" He shook his head, "I mean, I don't know how I could be a father right now, but I certainly don't want you to kill my child."

Sutton looked at her, "Then tell me what to do, Austin. I can't keep lying to Thayer about this child and I'm not coming clean about it either. So you tell me what to do. Either you step up as a father or you step back and forget anything ever happened between us. But I'm not going to keep lying to those people in there."

Austin glared at her, "I don't know, Sutton. I just found out about all of this an hour ago. What kills me is you saw me after you found out about the baby and you still didn't say anything to me."

Sutton shook her head, "Are you serious right now? Of course, I wasn't going to say anything to you about it. This isn't your problem." She spat.

Austin about double backed, "Not my problem? Sutton, this is my child! Did you forget that? This isn't Thayer's kid as badly as you want it to be. So yeah, I think it is my problem."

Sutton looked at him, "I'm sorry Austin. But I don't know what else to do. Look, it's better for all of us if we just never see each other again."

"So what about work, Sutton? Should I just forget that you murdered my baby and act like we've never met a day in our lives?" He asked pushing back tears. Behind him a bird in a tree chirped and Sutton looked at it.

"I'm not taking the position." She said, "I can't work that closely with you Austin."

Austin shook his head, "How could you do this to me, Sutton?"

Sutton glared at him, "You know if I hadn't have applied for this job, you never would have even known you had a child."

Austin stared at her, "Wow. You really are a piece of fucking work aren't you, Sutton Mercer?" He started down the driveway.

"Austin, wait!" She said chasing after him. He stopped and looked at her, "Look, tell me what to do and I'll do it. But I can't keep lying to my family."

Austin took a step towards her, "I'll tell you on Monday, okay?" Then she nodded and he turned on his heel heading back to his car.


	19. Assassin's Creed

"What was that all about?" Thayer asked when she came back inside. She kicked off her shoes and looked at him.

"Oh it was just a stupid work thing. I forgot to fill out a paper that needed to be filed before I could start, so Mr. Redford just needed me to fill it out before Monday." She moved to kiss him and she smiled, "So what do you think about going out for dinner tonight?" She said trying to take the attention off of Austin.

Thayer looked at her, "I don't know, babe. Let's see when Kendall wakes up." Then he kissed her.

It wasn't too long later, when Kendall came down from her room. The room was dark and Sutton laid curled under a blanket. When she saw her mom she quietly wandered to the couch and crawled into the space next to her mom, "Hi baby." Sutton said kissing Kendall's head.

Kendall looked up at Sutton, "Hi momma. I took a nap." She said smiling. She looked at the warm sippy cup of juice and she reached for it, "I'm hungry, momma." She said putting the little rubber straw her mouth and sucking the warm liquid down.

Sutton watched her while she drank wondering if the juice could even still taste that good having been sitting there for the last 4 hours. "Ok pumpkin. Go wake daddy up and ask if he wants to go to Macaroni Grill."

Kendall sat up and dropped her cup, "Is that the place where I can color?!" She said with a smile. Her brown hair was beginning to lighten in the summer sun, but it was pulled back now in a messy bun, little wisps of baby curls framed her face.

Sutton sat up and placed Kendall on the ground, "Yeah, go tell daddy you wanna color." She said kissing Kendall's forehead and tapping her butt, watching her run into her room yelling at Thayer to get up.

"Daddy, are you up?" she said climbing onto the king size bed. Thayer yawned and opened his eyes, staring the four year old in the face, "C'mon daddy! Momma wants to go to Macawoni gwill! C'mon get up! I wanna color!"

Thayer moved the little girl off of his body and sat up, "Alright, alright! I'm up." He yawned. He stood up and picked up Kendall setting her on his hip. "Come on little munchkin let's go get momma." He said kissing her cheek.

Emma sat Ryleigh up in her playpen. It was hard to imagine her daughter was almost half a year old. Though, she was still working on mastering the sit up on your own skill, it was still mildly amusing to watch her sit up and fall over on her side a few moments later. But now she left Ryleigh in her pack and play long enough to finish the cleaning list she'd made for herself to keep the house from getting out of control. Thankfully, Ryleigh had developed a playful independence and was now playing with her toes as if these foreign objects just showed up a few weeks ago. When her phone rang, Emma put the swifter duster down and grabbed the iPhone from the charger on the bar by the kitchen, "Hello?" She said retrieving the swifter again.

"Hey baby, how are things?" Ethan said. Emma looked at the clock was it lunch hour already? She thought. The clock on the oven read 12:05. It was almost a daily matter for Ethan to call her during his lunch hour everyday, but today there was a level of excitement that he usually lacked. Usually their conversations were spent complaining about boring paper work and Ryleigh's new developments.

"Things are good here, just getting the housework done while Ryleigh plays with her toes in the play pen. But you sound excited did something happen?" She said wiping the dust off the 50 inch TV that hung on the wall.

"Actually," He said sitting up, "Dan just told me that the squad is short handed and that he wants me to ride with him during his rounds this afternoon."

Though Ethan was clearly excited about his new job instructions, Emma swallowed her own apprehension, "Wow, honey." She said unsteadily. "Well that sounds like fun."

"It's going to be awesome." He said. "But hey, I'm getting radio'd in, I'll call you later okay? I love you. Give Ryleigh a kiss for me."

Emma smiled slightly, her heart pounded, "Alright babe, I will. I love you too. Please be safe." She said as she hung up.

Ethan stood up, "Alright, I'm heading out now." He said into his radio. He grabbed his Phoenix Area Police jacket and headed down the hall.

Dan stood outside his squad car and looked at Ethan when he came bounding out from the office, "Alright little bro, get in but there are something's you need to know before we go." He said as Ethan slid into the passenger's seat. On the way out, Dan explained the different codes for different emergencies and the protocol that would follow if something was to be radio'd in.

It seemed like they'd been driving for an hour when Ethan looked at Dan, "How often do other driver's on the road see you and slow down?" He asked eager to know more from an inside source.

"You'd be surprised how often I'd catch up to someone going 10 over and see how quickly they slow down in my presence." Dan said laughing. "More often than not I like to just fuck with them. It's too much work to pull them over and give them a ticket. I'm too lazy for that."

Ethan smiled, "That's cruel."

Dan nodded, "Cruel, but funny." Just then a static voice came over the radio, "Officer 82, where are you on route?" A woman's voice said.

"I'm at King and Herston about to make the rounds in West Village." He said. Ethan knew that West Village was the rough neighborhood, many poor under privileged people lived. Anytime he'd pass through on his way downtown, it made him thankful for the nice house and wonderful family he'd been blessed with. He instinctually locked the door of his car.

"10-4, We have a break in 1702 West Lincoln Avenue, can you report?" The woman said.

Ethan's heart pounded with excitement and maybe a little nerves. Dan confirmed the call and looked at his brother, "Alright. Do you remember what I told you?" He said as he made a sharp U-turn towards Lincoln.

Ethan nodded, "Stay in the car unless you flag me down, gun and protection are under the seat."

Dan gave Ethan a serious glare, "I mean it when I say stay in the car. If anything happens to me, I need you to radio in for a bus. They will ask you for the address, just tell them you're on west Lincoln in West Village."

Ethan nodded, "I got it." He said. They pulled off onto West Lincoln and before them a small rundown house stood with two people at gun point.

When the gunman saw Dan pull-up he looked back and then pressed the gun to the woman's terrified face, "Back off man!" He said. His face was filthy and he looked like he hadn't bathed in days.

"Dan eased from the car slowly, his hand toggled the gun in it's holster, "Put down the gun sir," He said withdrawing his own, "Put down the gun and step away from the folks." He said pointing the gun at the gun man.

The man just stood there and stared at Dan, "I said, back off!"

The woman's eyes pleaded with Dan for help but he did the best he could, slowly creeping up the dirt pathway to the man, "Put the gun down and no one gets hurt." He said looking at the woman. Beside her the man looked down as if he was pleading with God for help.

The gun man looked at him, "I want my goddamn money!" He said he looking back down that the woman. His screams made her squeeze her eyes shut in terror.

"It's over man. As soon as I get up there it's over." He said still moving slowly, the sound of twigs and dried leaves crunched under each step he took. But just as he was getting close enough, The gun man took off past Dan, causing him to whirl around and chase after him, "Stop right there!" He shouted.

But the gun man only looked back at him pointing his gun at Dan, "I said, back off!" He shouted as single gunshot sounded. Ethan looked up just to see his brother go down, No! He thought. His heart pounded as he reached for the gun from under his chair. He flung open the door, gun extended outward. From the ground dust flew across the air from Dan's fall stinging his eyes. He reached for the gun a few inches in front of him and reached up pulling the trigger. A winded grunt came from someone before a thud to the ground. Dan cleared the smoke from his eyes and looked up. Ethan laid before him, a puddle of blood surrounded him.

"Ethan!" Dan shouted crawling the few feet towards his wounded brother, He managed to crawl into the squad car. The gun man was now long gone when Dan looked up. He reached for the radio, "We need a bus on West Lincoln. I repeat we need a bus on West Lincoln." He said before he crawled to his brother, removing the clothes from his body, "Ethan, If you can hear me, nod." He said. But when Ethan laid there, Dan feared the worst.


	20. I Won't Let You Go (Darling)

"Come on honey." Emma begged. She'd been bouncing the baby on her shoulder for an hour but the babies screams didn't seem to subside. Ryleigh had been teething a lot lately but for some reason this second tooth seemed to be cutting more sensitively than the first. She felt bad every time she'd inject a dose of baby tylenol down her infant's throat, but it seemed to be the only remedy to soothe the pain. Her phone buzzed on the changing table and Emma looked at it, when she saw the name on the screen her heart sank. She put Ryleigh in the crib and grabbed her phone as she exited her daughter's room. "Hello?" She said.

"Emma? It's Dan." His voice seemed to be shaky and her heart raced.

"Yeah, what's up? Is everything okay?" She said trying not to freak out prematurely. Behind her her daughter's screams were silenced by the closing of her door.

"No, it's not. There was an accident on the job. Can you get down to the hospital as soon as you can?" His voice was steady a little bit more now but still had a hint of panic.

Emma's heart raced now, "What happened?" She asked. She looked up on the wall at the picture of Emma and Ethan holding Ryleigh under the tree in front of their house at Easter. His face seemed soft and happy. His arms around Ryleigh held her so protectively. Her heart raced.

"Ethan was shot on the job." He said trying to break it to her gently.

The phone in her hands nearly hit the ground and her knees went weak beneath her. "Is he alright?" She said fearing for the life of the man she loved so much. In a way she desperately wanted to know his condition and the other half was too scared to hear that something was horribly wrong or even worse, that'd he'd died.

"I don't know," He said swallowing hard. He didn't know how to break it to her that he was the one who'd shot his brother. "He's in surgery, but it's not great Emma."

Emma's heart sank. Ryleigh's cries had subsided and she looked back at her daughter's room, "I'll be there in a few minutes." She said before she hung up the phone. Immediately she scrolled her contacts to her mother's number and dialed, "Mom?" She said when Kristin answered.

"Yeah honey?" Kristin's voice was soft and soothing and it made Emma wish she was there with her, holding her protectively in her arms.

"Mommy, Ethan was hurt at work. He's at the hospital, Dan just called and said it's bad. Can you watch Ryleigh while I go to the hospital?" Emma begged biting back the tears that had been welling up since her conversation with her brother-in-law.

"Yeah, honey. I'll be there in a few minutes. Just take a few breaths and calm down. I'm sure he'll be okay." She said softly.

Emma's voice shook as she poked her head in her daughter's room. She'd cried herself to sleep and Emma looked at her. Her thick brown hair and nose looked exactly like her father. She prayed Ethan would make it through and get to see his daughter grow up. When Kristin arrived, she wrapped her arms around Emma and held her closely, "Mommy," She whimpered, a fearful tear fell down her cheek and splashed on her mom's shoulder.

Kristin pulled away and wiped the tears from her daughter's eyes, "Be strong baby, everything is going to be okay."

Emma nodded, "I hope so." She said sniffling, "Ryleigh is asleep upstairs. Her food is the fridge. She didn't eat the whole jar at lunch so you can give her what's left if you want. Her formula in the the cupboard by the fridge and her bottles should be on the circle rack next to the formula. I won't be long. At least I hope not." She said biting back tears again.

Kristin looked at her daughter, "Shh, baby." She said hugging her again, "Calm down. You can't drive like this. Maybe you should take your sister with you." She suggested.

Emma looked at Kristin, "I wish," She said, "I could use Sutton's support." She said. She grabbed her phone, tears still falling down her cheeks as she waited for her sister to answer. When Sutton's voice came over the phone, Emma perked up, "Sutton?"

"Emma?" Sutton said hearing her sister's cries over the phone, "Emma, what's wrong?"

Her sister's voice of concern made her tears fall harder, "Ethan was shot." Emma sobbed. She looked at Kristin who gave her a hopeful smile.

A gasp on the other end could be heard even by Kristin, "Oh my God, Emma. Is he okay?" She asked, her own tears built up over the phone. Though she was in love with Thayer, she still cared about Ethan and knew that he meant the world to Emma and Ryleigh.

Emma's body shook against Kristin's, "I don't know, Sutton. Will you come pick me up? I need to go to the hospital." Her voice pleaded with her sister.

Sutton looked at Thayer, she'd promised a family bonding night, but when her sister practically begged her, she knew she couldn't leave her hanging, "Yeah, Em. I'll be there in a minute. I love you."

Emma weakened a smile, "I love you too." Then she hung up. It really wasn't long before Sutton found herself pounding on Emma's front door. When Emma saw her twin she stepped onto the porch and wrapped her arms around Sutton, crashing into her sister's weight. After a minute, Emma stood up and looked at Kristin, "If you need anything, call me. Thank you mommy. I'll call you when we know more." Then she kissed Kristin and followed her out to the car.

The drive was mostly silent, occasional sobs came from Emma as she bit back tears. Every now and again she'd flash on her phone praying he'd texted her, that this was some kind of sick joke. She dialed his number a few times just to hear his voice, the same words over and over and she feared that these may be the only words she'd ever hear in his voice again. At least until the phone company cuts his number. When they pulled to the hospital that'd grown accustom too, Emma rushed into the emergency room searching for her brother-in-law. But when she only found Theresa she rushed to her side, "Where is he?" She said frantic.

"Emma." Sutton hushed, touching her sister's shoulder, "Calm down, ok? Everything is going to be fine."

Emma looked at her sister and reached for her hand. Theresa looked at Emma, "He's still in surgery." She said.

Emma shook her head, "What happened? Do you know what happened?"

Theresa looked down, "I don't know much, all I know is that he was at the scene of a hostage situation. Dan was shot in the foot and Ethan tried to help Dan just as he pulled the trigger intended for the gun man."

Emma's breathing was fast now trying to digest the words Theresa spoke to her. "Wait, Dan shot him? Dan shot his little brother." Emma said fuming.

Theresa shook her head, "Not intentionally, Emma. He was aiming for the gun man and Ethan jumped out of the car." Just then, Dan came around the corner, his foot was bandaged and protected in a boot.

Emma looked up at him, "This is all your goddamn fault!" She spat angrily walk towards him, "You did this to him!"

Dan looked at her, "I didn't mean to do it, Emma! Calm down."

Emma shook her head, "Don't tell me to calm down! What the fuck is wrong with you? You didn't see him get out of the car? You didn't know he was there?" Her voice was livid but her body shook uncontrollably.

Theresa took a step towards her and put her hand on her shoulder, "Emma this isn't Dan's fault. You know he wouldn't intentionally harm Ethan."

She spun around at the sound of his name, "SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!" She lashed out at Theresa, causing her to jump back.

"Hey!" Sutton said trying to get a grasp on Emma who was about to attack Theresa, "That's enough!" She said flinging Emma into an empty waiting room chair.

Emma tried to calm her heavy breathing and when she felt mildly in control she looked up at Dan, "Where is he?"

Dan looked at her, "I'm not telling you a goddamn thing until you calm your ass down, do you hear me?" He said getting within an inch of her face.

It was all she could do to not lash out at him. She tried to relax but the all she wanted was Ethan's arms around her. She let a single tear fall down her cheek, "I'm sorry. Just please tell me where he is."

Dan stood up and took in a deep breath, "Room 419. But he's still out of it. You might as well stay out here."

Emma stood up, "Hell no! I came to see my husband so that's what I'm going to do. See my husband." With that she got up and made her way down the hallway. It seemed like door after door till she reached 419. The door was closed and she peaked through the window. There he was, he looked peacefully asleep, just like he did every morning when she'd wake before him to take care of Ryleigh. She quietly pushed open the door and entered. The room was cold and eerily quiet. She could hear the sound of the heart-rate monitor and his soft breathing. She walked closer to him and sat by his bed. It was only a few short months when she was the one in the bed and he sat beside her. She took his hand and grazed her finger across the IV needle protruding from his hand. His fingers were cold but she held it in hers. She looked up at him, "Ethan," She said holding back tears, "I'm not strong enough for this." A single tear slipped down her cheek and splashed on his wrist then she leaned down and kissed his cheek.


	21. Everything Will Be Alright… Maybe?

Sutton's heart pounded and she bounced her knee up and down rapidly. Austin's desk was impeccable. Just as neat and tidy as his apartment had been. She looked up nervously at him, "So?" She said finally breaking the silence. She looked down at the floor.

Austin finally looked at her, "I don't know, Sutton." He said calmly, "I've thought about this. It's not like it's a new puppy. It's a baby, Sutton."

She looked at him, "Yeah, I got that. I think the constant vomiting is a good reminder that it's a baby." She said, but then she realized maybe her comment was a bit harsh. Her face softened, "I'm sorry." She said.

Austin nodded, "It's my baby." He said looking at her stomach, "And I can't just make the decision to kill it or not. I don't really want a baby right now." He confessed.

Sutton looked at him, her eyes widened, "So, you don't want the baby?" She said hopefully.

Austin shrugged, "I mean, I don't know. This is easier for you Sutton. You already have one, you're used to being a parent."

Sutton shook her head, "This isn't easy for me, Austin. This is my kid too." She said sighing, "I just can't keep this lie up. But if you want this baby, Austin, it's going to mess up everything I have. You have to understand how much I love my family. My daughter and Thayer are everything to me."

"Then why did you sleep with me?!" He said slamming his hand on the desk, the thumping sound made her jump and she looked at him, "Why did you sleep with me if you love him so much? Obviously, you don't love him as much as you think."

Sutton shook her head, "No. That's not true!" She said raising her voice to match his. "You don't know anything about what preceded that night. You don't know what I was going through. He and I had a fight and I was upset. I thought things between us were over and when I met you, you made me feel like I didn't deserve to be treated the way Thayer treated me. You made me feel special. You took care of me and I let my guard down."

"Yet here you are, pregnant with my child." He said shaking his head.

Sutton looked at him, "Look, I might have wanted another baby, but not like this! Not with some other guys baby. Do you know how terrible this feeling is?" She said putting her hands on her still flat stomach.

Austin's eyes widened at her comment, "You didn't seem to think that when you begged me not to stop." He looked down at the keyboard next to his arm and then his eyes came up to meet hers, "I get it, Sutton. You have a family. You wanted the family thing. I understand that mistakes happen and as much as I don't want to think of my child as a mistake. I think it's best for all of us if you," Then he paused for a moment gathering his thoughts, "If you terminated the pregnancy like you'd like."

Sutton wanted to bust a smile, but she kept her face calm, "Are you sure about that?" She asked keeping her voice steady.

Austin tried to fight back a tear, "I don't want to be the reason that your family is messed up. I came from a messed up home. My mom and I lived alone for the most part. My dad ditched us before I ever born and for most of my childhood, I blamed myself. I didn't even know him until I was in high school, when my science teacher turned out to be father. I don't want this kid to think that it's parent's don't love them. But the truth is, I don't know how I could handle taking care of a baby, even if I wanted to. My life is so stressful now with just me. I can't throw a baby in there with needs and with my mom back in Pennsylvania, I won't have much help with child care and I certainly can't afford day care while I work. Just do it, Sutton." He said sighing heavily.

She wanted to thank him, throw her arms around him and squeeze him, but she stood up, "As long as you're okay with it."

He looked at her, she could tell it was killing him to say all of this to her and she felt bad but when she thought about it, this was a chance to make her life better. "It's not that I'm okay with it as much as I know it's the right thing to do."

She nodded as she stood up, "Then it will be done." She said plainly. She left his office and nearly fell to her knees. She grabbed her stomach and felt tears fall down her cheeks. She had wanted this so why did she all of a sudden feel so guilty about it all? She thought.

Emma sat there, frozen. Her eyes widened at she stared at the doctor. The words the doctor had just told her seemed to sting her, _temporary paralysis. _"What does that mean?" She finally asked.

Beside her, Ethan held her hand, he looked up at his wife and squeezed her hand, "It's okay honey." He said smiling at her.

She looked at him, "No it's not, Ethan." She wanted to cry. She squeezed his hand. She felt a tear form in her eye and she desperately blinked it away.

"Mrs. Whitehorse, I know this comes as a shock, but the injuries your husband sustained were to the lower back. He's lucky he'll even walk again, even luckier to be alive. I know it will be difficult while he recovers but if you cooperate with us, we can get your husband walking in a month or two."

"Two months?" She said shaking her head. Her life was hard enough taking care of Ryleigh primarily alone now it was only going to be more challenging with her injured husband. She looked at him and he smiled at her. How could he be so positive right now? She thought.

"Honey, it's going to be fine." He said stroking her hand. She wanted to believe him, but he wasn't the one who had to take care of him and his daughter.

"All I want is for you to be okay." She said letting a tear trace a line down her cheek. It splashed on the back of his hand and he looked at her.

"Baby, don't cry. Everything will be okay." His voice soothed.

"We will get Ethan on a regular physical therapy schedule. Essentially he will need to relearn how to walk again. We will start him out slowly and working the muscles out and gradually work into the treadmill. Even after his mobility comes back, he may need a cane to support himself on until his muscles build enough strength to hold him up themselves." The doctors words were hopeful but Emma still felt like crying.

"How long will the recovery process be in total?" She asked looking down at Ethan.

"It could be 6 months to a year depending on how fast his body regains it's strength." The doctor said, "Until then, he'll need to refrain from any extraneous work and heavy lifting."

"What about holding his daughter?" Emma asked, "She's going to be crawling soon and pulling herself up, will he not be able to hold her for a year?" Emma's heart pounded.

"He can still hold her as long as he's sitting until he's able to stand completely on his own without the help of a cane or a walker." The doctor said then he set Ethan's charts down and looked at Emma, "I know this comes as a strain to you. I understand you have a little baby in the house and having to deal with her is one thing, having your husband basically not able to help you out with her is going to be stressful on both of you. But remember that we are helping Ethan get his strength back and ability to walk again. The timing isn't the best and I understand that. Maybe having a family member stay with you to help will lighten the stress for you both. Do you have someone who could help you for a little while?"

Emma looked at Ethan, "I could see if Kristin will be help. She'd love to get to see Ryleigh more and that would give me time to help you out with getting around the house." Then she stopped on a thought and looked up at the doctor, "Wait, we live in a two story house, how am I supposed to get him up and downstairs?"

"Well you have two options. You can keep hi downstairs for the month or so that it will take him to get his mobility back, or you can have a chair lift installed in the house until he is fully capable of walking on his own." The doctor tried to remain hopeful, "It might also be a good idea to hire a therapist to talk to during this time. Having someone to talk to under this stressful time will help get you through the time and it will help Ethan to heal faster." He said. "I have some numbers of a few outstanding therapists in the area if you'd like their names."

Emma nodded, "Yes, I'd like that, thank you."

The doctor looked at her and smiled, "Of course Mrs. Whitehorse. I'll be back in a little while to check up on you, Ethan."

Ethan smiled as he exited the room and he looked at his wife. Emma looked up at the ceiling and then turned to him. "I told you to be careful, Ethan. What the hell were you thinking getting out of that squad car? Did you think you'd be the hero?" Emma spat at him.

Ethan looked at her helplessly from the hospital bed, "Emma, stop." He begged but she was livid.

She looked down at him, "No, Ethan. You don't realize how bad this is?" She said folding her arms over her chest.

Ethan pushed himself up on the bed, "Do you realize how lucky I am that I'm not permanently paralyzed, Emma? Or even worse, dead? I get it, it wasn't the smartest thing to do jumping out of the car, but at least you're not burying me right now." He spat up at her.

She looked down at him. He had a point, she was lucky that it was only a temporary injury and that it could have been worse. But for the next month to a year, her life was going to be difficult and even if it meant getting her husband back, it still wasn't exactly what she'd wanted her first year of marriage. But she sat on the bed beside him and put her head on his shoulder, "I'm sorry, baby. You're right. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. I was just so scared that you were dead that I just wanted everything to be alright." She reached for his hand and laced her fingers around his, "I love you Ethan and I'll be beside you for the rest of my life. We will get through this together."

He smiled at her, "I'm sorry too. You don't deserve this. But you are the greatest woman and I'm so glad to have you by my side." Then he kissed her gently and she placed a hand on his jaw. So she knew it wasn't going to be easy but at least it was the least detrimental of all the possibilities that could have happened and for that she was thankful.

**A/N: I know that this chapter contains some sensitive topics, but please remember that this is a work of fiction. I don't want any comments about the choices my characters have made. If you don't agree with the content, don't read it. **


	22. Harper Austin

**I want to post a major disclaimer prior to this chapter as it deals with extremely sensitive and in-depth topics. Please feel free to stop reading at any point. It was an extremely difficult chapter to write, but we all knew this was coming. So again, I ask you please don't leave any negative comments. All of this information came from pure research. I have never been through this nor do I feel strong enough to ever be able to. I know some of you may not be able to handle this situation, and I completely understand that. **

Sutton felt like she was going to vomit. She was alone in the waiting room, except Rebecca who sat beside her. She reached for her mom's hand, "Is this the right thing?" She asked. She had been asking herself that all night. She got very little sleep the night before. All she could see when she closed her eyes was Austin's face earlier in his office. The pain in his eyes seemed to haunt her. She put her hand on her stomach.

Rebecca looked at her own daughter, "Sweet heart, only you can answer that question, but you need to know what's about to happen." She said taking Sutton's hand.

Sutton looked down knowing that she wasn't just ending a pregnancy, she was killing her baby. She was killing Austin's baby. She looked up at her mom, "I know." She said softly.

Rebecca shook her head, " I don't mean the actual act of the abortion, but everything that happens before that. They are going to do a full examination. Conduct a sonogram. This may be the first and last time you hear that babies heartbeat."

Sutton froze, no one said she was going to hear the heartbeat. This was really the first time she'd even had a sonogram. Up until now, she'd avoided the doctor in the event she decided to go with the abortion. But now she was about to hear for the first time her babies heartbeat. She looked up at her mom, "I can't do that mom." She said squeezing Rebecca's hand.

"Then don't have the abortion baby. But you have to decide what's better, keep this baby and lie to Thayer for the rest of it's life, or have the chance to set things right with your family." Then she kissed her daughter's forehead as an older lady pushed open the office door and called Sutton back. Rebecca squeezed Sutton's hand and stood up after her, "Remember, you're in charge here. If it's not something you can handle, don't do it."

Sutton nodded and followed the older lady back down a hallway, "Sit here, please and lift your shirt." The lady instructed. Sutton took in a deep breath and then laid back and lifted her shirt. The familiar protocol from when she was pregnant with Kendall. Everything looked the same, the monitor, the screen. The woman put a little of that familiar cold gel on her stomach and turned on the screen. She took in a deep breath and closed her eyes. If she could, she'd plug her ears not wanting to even hear the sound of the little life growing inside of her. When the little egg shaped camera touched her stomach she sucked in a breath and squeezed Rebecca's hand. Rebecca leaned down and kissed her daughter's temple, "Remember you're in control, baby." Sutton smiled, but she knew this had to be done. She hated herself for feeling like this. Maybe for the first time her selfishness didn't satisfy her needs. After all, a human's life was at stake here. The sound of her babies heartbeat filled the air. Though it sounded familiar it wasn't how she remembered it. The underwater train sound now sounded like a thump thump thump. She felt hot tears well up under her eyes, slipping from the corners and sliding down her temples. She tried so hard to focus on her own thoughts, of Thayer and Kendall. Her family. But occasionally, Austin's face would find it's way into her memory, the sadness in his eyes. The sweetness in his smile. He'd make a good father. She caught herself thinking. No! She stopped that thought. This wasn't about him. He told her to do it. It was right for everyone. She told herself. Suddenly, just as fast as the sound filled the room, it was gone. Sutton opened her eye and looked at Rebecca. "Ok Sutton, you can go ahead and sit up." The woman's face seemed apathetic. Sutton sat up and the woman scribbled notes of the sonogram in her folder then she stood up, "Dr. Patel will be in shortly to conduct the procedure, until then feel free to read the steps that will happen as well as the recovery process." Then she looked at Rebecca, "Will you be driving her home?"

Rebecca nodded, "I'm here for moral support for my daughter, but yes I will be taking her home afterwards."

Sutton looked at her mom and when the woman excused herself, she sighed, "I can't go back home, tonight. Thayer's going to know." She said tearfully.

Rebecca wrapped an arm around Sutton, "Don't worry honey." She said, "He isn't going to know you had an abortion."

Sutton's heart pounded, "If I'm not throwing up for the next several weeks, he is going to wonder."

"Morning sickness can come and go baby. But maybe you will need to fake it. Are you sure you want to try and get pregnant again with Thayer's baby?" She asked combing her fingers through her little girls hair.

Sutton looked up at her, "That's my plan. Do you think it will work?"

Rebecca shrugged, "It's not totally implausible, honey but you may want to make sure it's safe for you and for the baby that you try again." She said. It was hard for Rebecca to believe she was having this kind of conversation with her daughter, but it was bound to happen sooner or later.

Sutton nodded as the door to the small room opened. Suddenly Sutton felt bile in her throat and she swallowed it back. A small Indian man looked at her, "Good morning Miss. Mercer, how are you feeling today?" He asked in a thick Indian accent.

Sutton looked at him, "Um, well I could be a lot better." She said. Honestly, how many people came through this place saying they were over the moon about killing their child? She thought.

Dr. Patel looked at her, "Well hopefully we can get this done in the next few minutes. We can give you some tylenol with codeine to numb the pain, but what I will have you do is lay back and put your legs in these stirrups and then I will conduct the procedure by applying forceps inside your vagina and dilate your cervix, once your cervix has been dilated, I will take this instrument," He said pulling a small vacuum- like instrument from the wall and showing her. To be honest, Sutton didn't really care what he was going to do. It was bad enough coming to terms with the choice she made she didn't want to have to know the gory details of how it will be done. But he continued, "And I will insert it into your cervix to clean out the contents of your uterus." He smiled, "The procedure shouldn't take longer than about 5 minutes. Ten if we have to sedate you."

"And what about my baby?" She asked cautiously, "What will happen with the babies remains?"

"Well we will most likely throw the remains out as medical waste." The words seemed so cold, thinking of her deceased child as 'medical waste.'

"Will I see it?" She asked not knowing which answer she'd prefer to hear.

"If we don't have to sedate you, you can see it if you'd like, if not, we will just get rid of it before the end of the procedure and you won't see anything. However, if you'd like to see it you can."

Sutton wasn't sure what she wanted, sure it was easier to just get done and not have to have an emotional attachment to it, but even from the day it was conceived, she was attached to it. After all, she was a mother. She wanted to at least see it, hold it in her hands but at the same time she wasn't sure if she was emotionally strong enough for that. She nodded at Dr. Patel, "Is it too much to ask to see it? At least for a moment."

Dr. Patel looked at her, "It's not too much to ask at all." He said. Then he handed her two pills and a cup of water, "If you would go ahead and take this, we will go ahead and get started." He said pulling out the necessary instruments while Sutton took the pills.

Sutton swallowed the pills and then laid back looking at her mom, "Don't leave me, okay?" She asked, a lonely tear sliding down her cheek.

Rebecca placed a hand on one side of Sutton's shoulder and turned Sutton's head to her body, as if to protect her daughter from the sight, "I'm not going anywhere." She said softly. She stayed in that moment while Dr. Patel inserted the forceps and cranked it open. Sutton squeezed her eyes in the pain and groaned some. The noises that came from each instrument made her stomach turn, but her body was almost too numb to feel anything.

Sutton stayed in that moment for a while before she sat up when Dr. Patel instructed, "You did very well, Miss. Mercer. If you'd like now, you may see the fetus."

Sutton looked at Rebecca and then at Dr. Patel, "Yes, please." She said swallowing hard.

Dr. Patel took a small medical waste bag and pulled the small fetus from the bag. The baby was tiny, smaller than the palm of her hand, but it was a boy, that was clear. A son. She thought. Austin would have loved a little boy. She took in a deep breath and smiled, "Harper Austin Redford." She said mostly to herself. The baby didn't even look human, it looked kind of like an alien. She fought back a tear, "I hope you don't hate me, Harper." She said letting the tears fall down her cheek. "I hope you know how much your mommy and daddy loved you. I'm so sorry darling." She shook her head, her tears fell faster as she stared at the tiny baby, "I know you don't understand any of this and I know that you're in a better place." She sniffled back sobs, "Tell your grandpa that your mommy is so sorry." She couldn't help but think of Ted, what would he feel in this moment? Would he think this was the right answer? Was he holding his grandson in his arms, keeping him safe and loved? All these thoughts seemed to race through her head at once and she looked up at Dr. Patel. "Thank you." She said softly. She placed a soft kiss on Harpers tiny body before she passed him over.

He moved Sutton to a small room with bed's and couches to recover and she laid her head on Rebecca's lap. Rebecca ran her hands over Sutton's hair, wiping the tears that fell from her daughter's eyes, "I know this was hard baby." She said kissing her temple, "But you did the right thing."

Sutton's sobs seemed to come in heavy waves, "Did you see his face? His little tiny face?" She said coughing through her tears. "He was helpless."

Rebecca knew all too well what her daughter was going through, after all the twins were helpless to the mistake she'd made with Ted, "I know baby. But you did what you felt was right."

Sutton wiped her tears with the back of her hand, "Do you still love me?"

Rebecca's heart broke at her daughter's question, "Oh pumpkin, I will never stop loving you. These things happen and they are difficult to get through but this doesn't make you less of a person or a mother because of what you've done."

Sutton sat up and curled into Rebecca's arms, resting her head on her shoulder, "I just wish I didn't feel so broken?"

Rebecca squeezed Sutton into her, "It just happened, baby but you will get over this. You will recover. You may never be the same. You may find yourself thinking about him and who he might have been, but overall, you will feel less broken." Then she kissed her daughter's head and relaxed her own head on Sutton's.


	23. I Can't Do This

Emma looked back at Ethan. It seemed like a three man struggle to get him into her car. The look on his face was almost non-existent. But now he was looking at her, "I'm so sorry, Emma." He said putting his hand on hers. For the most part, Emma had held herself together despite her desperate need to breakdown and cry. But the moment just wasn't right and the moment when his hand touched hers, her head fell to the steering wheel and tears fell down her cheeks.

"Just don't." She sobbed. Ethan bit his lip and nodded. He took his hand from hers and she looked at him, "Don't." She begged.

"Don't what, Emma? Don't talk to you? Don't touch you. Don't tell you how shitty I feel for making you go through this? You don't deserve this, Em." He said, his own tears welled in his eyes. "This isn't easy for me either, but I can't help but think about you. It was my fault for getting out of that car. I deserve this, but you don't. You don't have to feel like you have another baby around. It's bad enough I can't take care of myself, but to put you through having to deal with me and Ryleigh, it's not fair to you." He said wiping his tears. All he wanted was to go home and hold his child, remember the nights when he was able to carry her up the stairs and lay her in her crib. Now she'd be past her first birthday when he'd be able to walk again.

Emma wiped her tears and focused on the road, pulling slowly from the pickup and drop off area of the hospital. She looked at him, "Just stop, Ethan." She said trying not to let herself cry again. "Can we just get home? I have a lot to think about right now. I don't need you adding to the stress." She said.

Ethan sat in silence, her words seemed to smack him in the gut. What did she mean by that? He thought. Was she rethinking their lives together? Did she really not love him enough to help him through this time? How could she be so mad at him? He wanted to talk to her but she concentrated on the road and he sighed, watching the cars pass by and wondering if he'd ever get to drive again. In a desperate attempt to make things better, he looked at her, "I love you, Emma." He said but she focused on the road and didn't even reply.

The house was quiet when they pulled up. Emma cut off the engine and moved to his side of the car, she opened the back door and pulled out a wheelchair trying to unfold it. It took her several moments of frustration before she realized what parts clicked where and she looked at him, "I'm going to need you to help me." She instructed.

Ethan looked at her, "How do you plan on me helping you, Emma? I can't fucking walk." He said getting angry with her bitter attitude.

Emma looked at him, "You can lift yourself up Ethan. Come on, cut me some slack. I can't carry your full weight in my arms." She said.

He pushed himself up and swung his legs out of the car. She reached out and placed her hands under his armpits and swung him to the chair. He slumped into it and looked at his home. It looked so different now. She wheeled him through the garage, dodging the lawn mower and wagon she pulled Ryleigh around in during their morning walks. Inside, the kitchen was spotless. Kristin had been there. He thought. On the refrigerator, Emma had stuck up a few photo's of her family. One of Ethan and Ryleigh on Easter morning and one from an afternoon in the park under an oak tree, Ryleigh fast asleep in his arms. He looked at the photo's and his heart longed for those moments. But mostly, they longed for his child. He hadn't seen her since the morning before the shooting and his arms craved her soft skin in his. "Mom!" Emma called through the house, "We're home!"

It wasn't long before Kristin came from the upstairs, Ryleigh attached at her hips. Her bare chubby legs kicked at the sight of Ethan and he smiled, reaching out for her, "Oh sweet heart. Come see Daddy." He said. Kristin placed the baby in his lap and looked at her.

"Do you feel better now that you're home?" Kristin asked. She sat down on the couch and sank into the soft cushions.

Ethan held Ryleigh as if she were standing, but her legs only bowed underneath her. He pressed her against his chest. Her hair smelled like lavender baby shampoo and her clothes smelled like the Tide Emma used for laundry. It felt good to hold her again, but it wasn't long before her restless attention set in and Emma jumped up, "I'll take her." She said.

Ethan looked at her, "Emma, I can take care of my daughter, you don't have to take her away from me every time she cries."

"She wants down, Ethan and you can't get her to the floor." Emma said grabbing the baby and laying her on one of the soft colorful blankets Emma had laid out in the corner of the living room. She placed a few soft toys in front of her daughter and then sat back down. But even that wasn't long lived and Emma grabbed her daughter again. It was going to be a long month before Ethan could at least help pick up some of the slack. It was going to be an even longer six months before she had her husband back. In the meantime, she was stuck dealing with insurance companies, worker's compensation and the day-to-day activities of dealing with her paralyzed husband was just going to be a strain on her.

Sutton sighed as she opened the door to her house. She'd spent most of the day just laying around Rebecca's house, but she knew eventually Thayer was going to wonder where she was. Kendall ran from the living room and wrapped her arms around her mother. Sutton was still sore from the procedure and she winced but wrapped her arms around her daughter, "Hi baby." She said.

Kendall pulled at Sutton's arm, "Pick me up, momma." She said. But Sutton remembered the strict order from Dr. Patel not to lift heavy things for 24 hours until her body is strong again.

"Honey, mommy can't hold you right now." She said.

Kendall pouted, "Why mommy?" She asked.

Sutton bent down to her daughter's level and pulled her into her arms, "Honey, mommy's not going to be able to pick you up a lot anymore." She said stroking her daughter's hair.

"Is it cause of the baby?" She asked innocently.

Sutton kissed Kendall's cheek, "Yeah, honey, it's cause of the baby." She said forcing back a tear, thinking about Harper's tiny little lifeless body. Just then, Thayer came from the bedroom and smiled when he saw her.

"Hey baby." He said helping her to her feet and kissing her, "Where were today? I tried to call you but I only got your voicemail."

Sutton quickly thought for a lie, "I was out. Sorry, my phone was off." She kissed him back and looked at him. "Have you guys had dinner yet?"

"No, we were waiting for you. Are you hungry?" He asked. She nodded and he looked at his daughter, "What about you monster, are you hungry?" He tickled her belly and she giggled but nodded. "Alright, then. I didn't have anything planned but we could go out somewhere." Then he looked at Kendall, "Get some shoes on baby so we can of get dinner." He said tapping his daughter's bottom and watched her run to the shoe rack, grabbing her pink ballet flats and putting them on the wrong feet.

"Ok! I'm ready!" She declared.

Thayer bit back laughter, "Here honey, let's fix your shoes." He said as he switched the shoes to the proper feet, "Ok pumpkin, now you're ready." He said kissing her.


	24. The Disappearing Act

Monday morning seemed to roll around faster than Sutton would have liked. She groaned when the alarm on her iPhone sounded but she sat up. She looked over at Thayer who still slept and she kissed him. Then she got up. Work didn't seem like something she really wanted to deal with, especially because it meant facing Austin after the abortion. She knew he was going to want to know about it. Part of her wasn't ready to relive that dark moment in her life. But she sat up and grabbed her robe off the arm chair in the corner of the room. The room was cold compared to the warmth of the bed and Thayer. She tied the robe around her waist and pushed open her bedroom door. She flipped on the kitchen light and turned the Keurig machine. She was just getting her mug down from the cupboard when something crashed down the stairs causing Sutton to startle and then she smiled. She put the mug down and walked to the foot of the stairs. Standing halfway up the stairs, was Kendall. Her hair was messy from her sleep and she held her blanket in her hand and sucked her thumb. She still wore her hot pink and black zebra and polka dot printed pajama's Sutton bought at the silly giggles boutique about a month ago when Kendall started to out grow some of her old pajama's. When Kendall saw Sutton she smiled and started down the stairs. Sutton reached out and grabbed her daughter hooking her to her hip, "Good morning, sleepy head." She said trying to make her daughter's messy hair less tangled but Kendall just shook her head as if to indicate that she didn't like what her mom was doing to her hair.

Kendall looked at her mom, "Mommy, I got the blue donut." She informed Sutton.

Sutton smiled. These intimate moments with her daughter were some of the best reasons why she got up early. That and because if she didn't, a tiny four year old would only be climbing into her bed forcing her awake. She nodded at Kendall's comment, "I see that. What happened to the green donut?" She asked looking at the little green plastic ring from that iconic ring stacking toy that almost every child had as a toddler. But instead of stacking the rings on the yellow post like you're supposed to, Kendall would hold on to as many as she could and give them out to Thayer and Sutton and her stuffed dolls like they were 'donuts.'

Kendall looked down on the ground at the green ring, "I dropped it coming down the stairs." She said plainly.

"Yes you did," Sutton said putting Kendall on the ground, "Go get it and pick it up before daddy hurts his foot on it again." Thayer was notorious for not being much of a morning person and was usually clumsy in walking to the kitchen for his coffee. If Kendall didn't clean her toys, he'd most likely step on it and hurt himself. Kendall ran to the hallway between the stairs and the kitchen and grabbed the green ring.

She turned and looked at Sutton, "Here, mommy. You have the green one and I'll have the blueberry one." She said sticking the plastic in her mouth. Sutton pretended to eat her green donut.

"Yummy, honey." She said smiling. Then she placed the toy on the counter and grabbed a clean sippy cup from the strainer and turned to get the chocolate almond milk from the fridge. She poured about half the cup and closed it tightly with the matching lid. Though the cups she had for Kendall could be mixed and matched, Kendall hated when the lids were a different color than the cup and she'd toss the cup on the ground if it didn't match. She gave Kendall the cup as she did every morning and by habit, Kendall ran to her little leather chair and plopped down. Sutton trailed her, turning on the living room light and then grabbing the remote control changing the TV to Disney Jr. Kendall engaged herself in the episode long enough for Sutton to get her coffee ready and soon Thayer was dragging his butt out of bed.

"Good morning." He said groggily, kissing the top of Sutton's head. He made his way to the kitchen and started his own cup of cpffee. While it brewed, he went to the living room and kissed his daughter, "Morning munchkin." He said then returned to the kitchen for his coffee. The routine was so scheduled to the minute, Sutton swore she could set her watch by it. But she didn't want anything else than the moments and the people that were in her everyday life.

It was generally crazy getting ready for work. Kendall always seemed to beg Sutton to play with her and when she'd brush her of, Kendall would huff out of the room. She hated not having time for her daughter anymore, but she knew if she was going to bring another life into this family, she needed the money to be able to support it.

She put the finishing touches of her lipstick on and popped her lips in the mirror. Then she grabbed her keys and purse from the counter. "Ok Kenzie, mommy's leaving. I'll see you after your nap. Be good for daddy okay?"

Kendall who was half fixated on a show and half listening to Sutton put up a hand, "Bye momma."

Sutton nodded to Thayer, "So nice to know she'll miss me." She told him, then she kissed him, "Bye love. I'll call you later."

Then she opened the door and right then Kendall dropped her cup to the ground and ran to the door, "Wait! Hug and kiss!" She said.

Sutton smiled, damn right a hug and a kiss. She thought. She bent down and wrapped her full arms around her daughter, "I love you, baby." She said. Then she popped a kiss on Kendall's lips.

"I love you too, mommy!" She said as she watched her mom pile her things into the car and back out of the driveway. Even though it'd been several weeks since she'd started her job at the university, it was still hard leaving behind her daughter for so long in the day but she was beginning to get used to it.

The office seemed pretty low-key for a Monday morning. Alice, who usually sat at the receptionist desk when she arrived every morning was out today. The desk looked exactly as it did when Sutton left the office late Friday night. Though it was an office full of professors office's and usually it was rare for all of them to be in at the same time, generally there'd be a few milling around, filing papers, making coffee or visiting each others office's. Sutton made her way to the back end of the hallway. The door to Austin's office was open but he was nowhere to be seen. There was a large copy paper box on the desk full of his things. Sutton didn't know what to do, so she just put her purse in the large cabinet in the corner. "Oh, Sutton." Austin's voice startled her.

She whipped around and looked at him, "Oh um, hi." She said feeling the immediate awkward tension. She relaxed and looked at the box on his desk, "Why are you packing your stuff? Are you moving offices?" She said pointing a finger at the box.

Austin stood there staring at her, "Uhh, actually no. I'm, um…" He grasped for words as he piled more of his things into the box and then he looked at her, "I'm actually moving back home."

Sutton looked taken aback, "Uhh, ok? Why?" She asked suddenly fearing that maybe he couldn't handle the pressure of the baby and the abortion and having to work so closely with her. "Did I do something?" She asked following out of his office and down the hall to the copy room.

He stopped at his mailbox and looked at her, "No," He looked disconnected and frazzled like someone had just dropped a serious bomb on him. He stopped his epic search for whatever he was looking for and looked at her, "My mom called me last night." He swallowed hard, "She has stage 4 breast cancer. It's pretty bad." He said trying not to cry.

Sutton shook her head shocked by the news. She remembered how close he was with his mom, after all she was really all he had, "Oh my God, Austin. I'm so sorry. So you're going back home?"

He pushed past her out the door and back down the hall to his office, "I'm going to keep my position here, but I'll be working as an online professor. That way I can stay home with my mom." Wow, everything sure happens for a reason. She thought.

"So you're going back to Pennsylvania? Well what about me? What about my job?" She wondered, not to sound selfish, but she wanted to know if this meant she was no longer needed as an assistant anymore.

Austin picked up the box from his desk and looked at her, "No. You'll still have a job. You'll be working with Addison. She will be taking my place here." He stopped at the door and looked at her, "Listen Sutton, before I go I just want to say I'm sorry for everything. For the baby and confusion and the pain. I never wanted to hurt you. Truth is, from that moment I met you, I knew there was something special about you. If I'd known you had a family before we slept together, I would have never done it. I know it must not have been easy going through an abortion, but I hope that baby knows how much it's daddy loved it." Then he leaned down and brushed a stray hair off her face his lips gently grazed hers and she felt herself go weak. She caught herself on the edge of the desk and wrapped her hand around the nape of his neck. When he pulled back he looked at her, "Take care of yourself Mercer. You here me?"

She smiled, "I will, but-" However he was long gone by the time she managed to bring herself back to life, "You had a son." She said softly to the empty office. She sighed as she sat in the small room. The lonely clock on the wall ticked the minutes as they passed by until a tall blond stood in the doorway, "Oh hi, Are you Addison?" She said smiling.

The woman put her own box on the table, replacing the space where Austin's once sat, "That's right." She said in a dark tone, "My name is Addison Hawthorne. I believe you know my father? Dr. Hawthorne. Anyways, I will be taking over Mr. Redford's place here." Sutton swallowed hard and gave Addison a smile but Addison wanted nothing to do with it, "Here," She said handing Sutton a stack of papers, "Grade these. I need them done by noon." Then she shooed Sutton to another room and slammed the door behind her. She almost instantly missed Austin.


	25. Let's Try This Again

"Well Sutton, you're looking good." Dr. Janowski said finishing up her follow-up exam. She handed Sutton a tissue and she wiped the gel from her stomach and sat up. "I think you're good to start trying again for another baby."

Sutton smiled at the news. Things had been going fairly smoothly, she just hoped she could manage to somehow get Thayer to forgo protection in her attempt to get pregnant again. "Thank you Dr. Janowski. It means a lot to be able to try again for another baby. I think my first one is finally getting used to the idea of being a big sister."

Dr. Janowski smiled, "How is Kendall doing?" She asked remembering when the terrified 17 year old came to her that first day not even wanting to see her baby on the ultrasound and now that same girl was a happy mother ready to expand her family. It was these moment's Dr. Janowski loved her job.

Sutton smiled, "She's good. She's four now, can you believe it?" She said reaching for her phone. She opened the lock screen and handed Dr. Janowski her phone.

Dr. Janowski shook her head as she looked at the little four year old that smiled in the picture. She adorned a pink princess play dress and a plastic tiara, "I can't believe that little girl is four already. She looks like a happy little girl."

"Well yeah, until my sister had Ryleigh and now she's angry that no one fawns over her like they did before Ryleigh was born." She said, knowing that Dr. Janowski had taken care of Emma during her pregnancy.

Dr. Janowski smiled, "Yeah. It happens. I know she'll get over it and when she sees her little sister or brother for the first time, she'll be so in love." She laughed, "It's not uncommon for the first born to feel a little jealousy, but they get over it. Kendall's no different than any other four year old."

Sutton nodded, "I know, but I still feel a little guilty." She sighed. She grabbed her purse and followed Dr. Janowski to the lobby, "Thank you for seeing me on such a short notice." She said smiling and whipping her debit card from her wallet. For once, it was nice to be able to pay for something with her own hard earned money. She felt like a self-sufficient adult.

Dr. Janowski smiled and handed the receptionist at the desk Sutton's information, "Anytime, hon. Good luck! I expect to see you soon."

Sutton crossed her fingers and arms across her chest, "Hopefully so!" She said smiling. Then handed the receptionist her debit card.

Well, Emma thought. This wasn't as bad as she had assumed. The weird looks from passersby in the grocery store or the mall when a 23 year old man wheeled through an aisle was beginning to get on her nerves and she's about ready to snap at the next person who looked at her cross. At least he could hold Ryleigh and she didn't have to worry about the stroller on top of the wheelchair. She'd grown a certain liking for being able to push her hand through his thick hair while they strolled down the sidewalk. It was something she'd never been able to do when he could walk since he was about a foot taller than she was, even in heels she was too small. Though she did long for those late evening walks, holding hands. She missed holding his hand in general. She missed the simple gesture of feeling him in her. She missed sleeping beside him. Some nights she'd find herself sleeping in the downstairs guest room just to be beside him. To feel his warmth next to her. Sure getting him from his chair to the bathroom and back to his chair again was beginning to wear on her arms. At least you're building muscles. She'd tell herself when her arms ached too much to even carry her daughter. Some times, she'd sink low in the warmth of the bathtub and let her tired muscles relax. But even that some times didn't provide enough relief. She barely knew how she managed it all. Between Ethan and Ryleigh she had little time for herself. But nonetheless she looked at her family and knew it didn't matter. These were the people she loved, she wasn't going to bail on them.

When Ethan looked at her, he felt a certain warmth wash over him and he smiled, "Just another week." He told her as she opened the door to the physical Therapist's office. She backed his wheelchair into the lobby. There wasn't a lot of people in the waiting room when she arrived and a woman behind the receptionist office greeted them with a smile.

"Good morning, Emma. Good morning, Ethan." She said standing, but when her eyes fixated on Ryleigh she extended her arms out, lifting the baby from her father's arms, "Well hello little princess. How have you been?" She cooed in a baby voice. Ever since Ethan's first day of physical therapy, Ryleigh had become the center of attention in that small office. Sometimes, Emma had to pry her daughter from the arms of the receptionists and therapists that worked in the office. Though it was nice when they'd offer to watch Ryleigh during Ethan's therapy sessions that gave Emma a few minutes to just relax. She'd often go next door while Ryleigh slept soundly on the therapy mats in the back room and it was nice to get to think about herself for a while.

"She's doing good. I think she realizes where this is because she smiled when she saw the building getting out of the car." Emma said. She grabbed the clipboard to sign Ethan in.

Wendy, the head receptionist tickled the 7 month old babies tummy. Ryleigh let out a belly laugh, "Are you happy to be here, pumpkin? Are you excited to see Daddy walk again?" She looked up at Ethan, "The best part is that you will be learning how to walk when your daughter takes her first steps." She said nodding.

Ethan smiled, "Maybe it will be something that she and I can always hold close in our hearts." He laughed. Even though it wasn't exactly how Ethan would have wanted to remember his daughter's first steps, but he tried to stay positive these days. After all there wasn't too much else he could do. What had happened had happened and he couldn't change the past.

Sutton crawled into bed later that night, Thayer was already in bed, wearing a plain white v-neck and boxers. Sutton closed the door and then curled into his body. He typed away on his laptop and she traced her fingers softly up underneath his shirt. Thayer looked at her, "yes?" He asked seductively. But when her lips silenced his, he closed the lap top and set it aside pulling Sutton into his arms, "Ok, I see where you're going and I'm liking it. Kendall's asleep?" He asked but she just put a finger to his lips and leaned over him turning out the bedside lamp. She returned to his lips and gently pressed hers to his. Her hand found it's way back up his shirt. His skin was warm underneath her fingertips. His fingers brushed gently over her nipple, causing it to jump underneath the thin material of her t-shirt. She sat up and removed her top, tossing it on the floor. '

It was clear he wanted her and he laid her gently back against the pillows, hovering over her body. He quickly shred the rest of their clothes and placed gentle kisses on her neck and down her shoulders. She closed her eyes in the passion. Please God, she begged. Please give me a baby. She thought then she looked at Thayer. "I need you." She begged, ready to close the gap between them.

He kissed her hard and hovered over her, "What about a condom?" He suggestion.

Sutton sat up underneath him, "Really, Thayer? I'm already pregnant." She lied knowing that this was the window of opportunity to get pregnant again.

He looked down at her, "Alright, good point." He said. Then he kissed her as he entered her relieving a sigh as they closed the most intimate gap any two people could possibly encounter. She closed her eyes and sighed hoping this would end just how she needed it to end.


	26. A Message From Beyond The Grave

Sutton sat alone in the diner, a noisy woman sat in the booth behind her chatting about her son's unbalanced girlfriend, Sutton looked over her shoulder at the woman pretending to be looking back at the door and then turned back towards her menu. Thayer had taken Kendall for a daddy-daughter date to the movies and she didn't feel like staying at home, so she'd called Emma to meet up for dinner but Emma had just sent her a message that she was running late. In the quiet moments, Sutton hoped she'd feel that flutter in belly, a sign that something was there. A waitress had come by a few times asking if Sutton wanted to place an order, but she offered to wait for Emma to show up. She'd been staring at her phone when she felt a soft tap on her shoulder. She startled hoping to see her sister standing there, but instead a middle-aged woman with long brown hair smiled, "I didn't mean to startle you." She said with a grin.

"Oh no." Sutton smiled, "It's alright." She said looking back down at her phone.

The woman smiled, "I don't mean to bother you. Do you mind if I sit down? I was sitting behind you and felt this need to talk to you." Sutton looked at her strangely and the woman picked up on the gesture, "I'm sorry. My name is Andrea Nichols, I am a medium." Sutton looked at her like she was a crazy woman, "I connect with people who have passed on in this world." She said, "I kept getting a sense. An older man kept pestering me to talk to you." Sutton looked at her, skeptical of the woman's words, "DId an older man pass away a few years ago? almost 5 years ago?"

Immediately tears filled her eyes, "My dad died just about 5 years ago." She nodded.

"Who is Kendall?" The woman asked. "He keeps talking about Kendall and cradling his arms like he's holding a baby."

Her words practically floored Sutton and she reached for her phone, "She's my 4 year old daughter. He died just before I found out I was pregnant."

Andrea smiled, "He's telling me that he gave her to you as a gift." Sutton shook her head in disbelief, "Were you there when your dad died?"

"I was at the prom and my mom called me. He was in surgery when we got there but he died that night." She said, "I didn't get to say good-bye." She cried reliving the pain she'd felt that night her father passed away.

Andrea placed her hand on Sutton's and a sudden warmth flowed through her body, "He was there with you in the hospital that night. He wants me to tell you that he heard your good-bye and that he's been with you everyday since his passing."

Sutton brushed tears from her eyes and looked up, "He was there?" She desperately wanted to hear her father's voice again. Look into his blue eyes.

"He keeps saying something about a little boy. Did you have a little boy pass?"

Sutton's eyes widened, "Harper. My son Harper." She nodded.

"He's showing me a small baby, like he died before he was born."

Sutton nodded apprehensively, "I had an abortion a few weeks ago."

Andrea nodded, "He wants me to tell you that he's not mad at you for decision. That he understands the importance of family and that he is protecting his grandson with him." Sutton's heart nearly stopped. She hadn't stopped thinking about her son since she'd had the abortion. She'd wondered how Ted would have handled the situation if he was still alive, "He wants you to know that Kendall is his gift to you. He felt bad for leaving you so young." Andrea paused and looked down, "Can I ask, are you pregnant right now?"

Sutton shook her head, "No, but my fiancé and I have been trying." She said putting her hands on her stomach.

"He is telling to tell you that he is giving you another little gift. He wants you to know that he's been protecting you since he passed."

Sutton's heart pounded so hard, she thought she was going to have a heart attack, she wondered if maybe this woman was crazy but how did she know Kendall's name when she never even told her she was a mother. "Can I just ask you a question?"

Andrea nodded, "Of course, anything."

"Is he mad at me?" She asked nervously, afraid to think that her father would be angry at his daughter for the way she's lived her life.

Andrea was silent for a moment, "He wants you to know that above anything else you are his baby girl and that he loves you. He wants me to tell you that he understands why you did the things you did and he's not angry at you but he wants you to learn from your mistakes."

Sutton nodded, just as Emma was approaching the table. She gave Andrea a weird look and then sat Ryleigh's carrier on the table and sat beside her sister when she noticed she was crying, "Sutton, are you okay?" She asked putting her arm around her sister and glaring at the woman like she was some kind of horrible human being.

Sutton coughed out a laugh, "No it's okay." She looked up at Andrea, "This is my sister Emma."

Andrea nodded as if to make sense of something, "Oh ok, you have a twin. He was showing me two of you and I was like she's not dead, yet. I'm talking to her. You have a twin sister."

Emma looked at the woman wide-eyed and back at Sutton, "Um, what's going on?"

Andrea smiled at Emma, "You were a foster child growing up?" She asked and then she looked at Sutton.

Emma looked terrified, "Who the hell are you?" She said getting angry. Ryleigh stirred some in her chair and Emma looked at her and rocked the chair to hush her some.

"This is Andrea. She's a medium and she was giving me a reading." Sutton said.

"What do you mean she was giving you a reading?" She asked skeptically. Ryleigh kicked her pink blanket off her legs. Emma reached to the floor where it fell and picked it up, putting it back over her daughter's body.

"I'm a medium, which means I can talk to spirits. I was sitting behind your sister here and A spirit pestered me to talk to your sister." Emma nodded unsure of this woman or if they should get up and kindly walk away.

"A spirit." Emma said slowly. She looked at Sutton like she was nuts.

"Your dad has been communicating things he wanted your sister to know. He keeps pointing at you, he's showing me a broken heart. When a spirit shows me the symbol of a broken heart, I usually know that either he wasn't there when you grew up, like he left you or that you weren't in his life. He's saying that he never met you."

Emma's heart throbbed. Suddenly her skeptical mind switched to one of hope, "My birth mother separated Sutton and me when we were babies. I didn't even know I had a father until I got here."

"He wants you to know that he never wanted you to feel like you weren't apart of his family. Did he pass shortly after you came here?"

Emma nodded slowly, how did she know all of this? She thought. She never was one to believe in mediums and she never believed that the dead could communicate with the living. But tears welled in her eyes, "Yeah. Sutton contacted me on Facebook saying she was my twin sister. I was in a foster home in Las Vegas and only a few months after I got here, just a few weeks after he realized I wasn't his daughter Sutton, but his twin daughter Emma, he passed away from complications from a car accident." She said sighing heavily. She realized her story must've made no sense to someone who didn't already know, but Andrea nodded.

"He's telling me that he wants you to know that you were always his little girl." She looked at Ryleigh, "He keeps saying, my baby granddaughter, he shows me a halo like he's her guardian angel."

Emma bit back the tears as she looked at her daughter, "His angel?" She asked.

"He says that he protects her when she sleeps and not to worry. He wants you to know that everything will be okay. Did you just suffer a major injury or did someone close to you?"

Emma looked at Sutton in surprise, "My husband was shot almost a month ago. He shouldn't have lived, but he's temporarily paralyzed, the bullet just barely missed the area of the spine that could have killed him or left him permanently paralyzed."

Andrea nodded, "He's wanting me to tell you that he was there with your husband. He should have died, but he sent him back. He knows how much you need him, how much you love him and with his newborn daughter. He knows all too well how much a little girl needs her father."

Emma was full on crying now, she shook her head and Sutton put her hand on Emma's, "All this time I was so mad at Ethan for all of this and daddy kept him safe." She suddenly felt guilty for how she'd acted.

"Well Girls," Andrea finally said, "I don't want to take up too much of your time, I am glad I had this chance to meet you and share some things you needed to hear."

Emma wiped her tears with the sleeve of her jacket, "Thank you." She said.

Sutton smiled, "Yes, thank you. I think we needed this." She said looking at her twin sister and giving her a satisfied smile. Then they hugged Andrea and watched as she left the diner.


	27. Baby Steps

Sutton's heart pounded, outside the bathroom door, she could hear Kendall babbling answers to the episode of Bubble Guppies that held her attention long enough for Sutton to get the answer she desperately needed. She couldn't help but remember Andrea's words the week before, a special gift. Certainly, she spent extra time cuddling her daughter, hugging her extra tightly telling her stories of the grandfather she'd never get to meet before bedtime. Now she sat on the tiled ledge of her bathtub. "Mommy," Kendall said bursting into room, "What are you doing?"

She stood up and grabbed her daughter, pushing her back out of the bathroom, "I just need to be alone for a minute baby." She said, "What happened to Bubble Guppies?"

Kendall looked at Sutton, "Why do you need privacy?" She asked.

"Mommy doesn't feel very good, baby. I just need a few minutes. Can you finish watching your show?" She said. She lifted Kendall onto her bed and handed her the sippy cup that had fallen on the floor.

Kendall sighed, "Okay, but after you feel better can you make me a grilled cheese sandwich?"

Sutton nodded, "Sure baby. Just stay here. I'll be right out, okay?" Kendall nodded, putting the plastic valve of the cup to her lips drinking the cold water, Sutton had given her. Sutton rushed back to the bathroom. She nervously peered at the test. For the first time, ever, wanting the test to be positive. When she looked down, a smiley face with the words pregnant read on the screen. She was elated. Her heart skipped a beat and she closed her eyes, "Thank you daddy." She said softly. This time she knew it was Thayer's and she was ecstatic. She wanted to rush out and hug Kendall and talk about the new baby, but quickly remembered that the baby had never left her body. For all Kendall knew, Sutton's been pregnant the whole time. Immediately she grabbed her phone and dialed Dr. Janowski's office. She was going to take care of this one for she knew it was a gift from her father.

"Alright Ethan," Dr. Howard said with a smile, "You are progressing well. I am going to go ahead and test your reflexes now that the month is coming to a close, I want to make sure that the first signs of reflexes are coming back." She said pulling a small reflex hammer from the counter beside her. She tapped gently on his knee causing it to just ever so slightly to shift forward and back. She nodded, "You are looking good, Ethan. I'm going to go ahead and start you on a small training with a back brace and crutches and slowly work you towards the treadmill. Hopefully by the end of this year, you will be able to walk on your own again. Until then, take it easy and keep off your feet as much as you can."

Ethan's heart swelled with hope, Soon he'd be able to walk with crutches and though he felt slightly like a handicapped person, it beat being bound to the wheelchair anymore. Dr. Howard lifted Ethan onto the ground and back to his chair, wheeling him to the therapy room. Medicine balls, tread mills, muscle machines and exercise mats filled the room. it looked like a beginning man's gym. then he excused himself and Sadie, Ethan's physical therapist greeted him with a smile, "How are you doing, Ethan?" She asked moving him to an automated bike machine that moved his legs for him. "So are we going to start you on the brace and crutches today?"

"I guess so." He said smiling. To the average man, a workout that consisted of a machine slowly working his legs in an up and down motion wouldn't be a workout at all, but the rigorous effort it put on Ethan's body made his body pour down sweat. After 20 minutes, Sadie stopped the machine and brought over the arm crutches that clamped around the back of his arms instead of under his arm pits. With the help of her assistant Chandler, they helped Ethan to his feet. For the first time since the accident, he was standing. Maybe not on his own, but he was standing. He wished Emma was there to see it, but she'd left Ryleigh in the care of the receptionists while she went a few doors down to have her hair done while he was in his therapy sessions. It felt strange to be standing again. He had gotten so used to life from the wheelchair that he forgot what it felt like to view life from six feet up. Sadie wrapped the brace around his body and adjusted it to fit the curves of his waist. He suddenly felt lighter like the brace had taken the tension from his body, supporting him, yet he still geared weight on the handles of the crutch, keeping as much of his 170 lbs off of his feet. Then

Sadie bent down at Ethan's feet and she smiled up at him, "Ok, Are you ready to take your first step in a month?" She asked, knowing these milestones were better with loved ones around and she knew Emma would have wanted to there to witness the moment, but she was only following doctors orders.

Ethan looked down at her, "I'm as ready as I'll ever be, I guess." He said.

"Alright, well for now I am going to manipulate your steps forcing each foot to step forward as if you were walking on your own. With each step you take, move the corresponding crutch to help support you. So if I move the right foot, move the crutch on your right arm forward, ok?" Ethan nodded in acknowledgement. Then Sadie smiled and lifted his right foot, "Go ahead and move that right crutch, we will try just a few steps at first and then we will reassess from there." She said as she helped Ethan take his first step. It felt good moving again. Though his body felt stiff and the movement was slightly awkward, it was nice to be walking again. She assisted him with only three more steps after that and then moved him back to his chair. He had to admit it felt more freeing standing and that those special moments would be few and far between, but the progress he was making gave him hope that it wouldn't be too much longer before he was able to walk again on his own.

Emma sat in the waiting room when they wheeled him out and she smiled. She was just about to give Ryleigh a bottle of formula, but Ethan reached his arms out for his daughter and Emma passed the baby over. She handed him the bottle and let him feed her while she paid for the session. Though, insurance covered most of the expenses and the little she got from worker's compensation helped pay for the therapy sessions, it was still a $30 copay every time they'd come for a session.

Sutton felt a lot better since the pregnancy test revealed a positive result and she looked at Thayer, finding herself wanting to think about the baby. Envision a tiny newborn in his arms and asleep on his chest. She laid on the bed in their room, Kendall between them fast asleep, as Tangled played in the background though nobody paid much attention. She looked up at Thayer, "Are you really okay with all of this?" She asked pushing the dead weight of her daughter's arm off her body.

Thayer looked at her, "Am I okay with what?" He asked. He looked down at Kendall and absent-mindedly played with her long strands of hair. She breathed heavily in her sleep and they both knew they had no chance of getting the little girl to her own bed that night.

"The baby." She asked. "Are you really okay with us having another baby?" She reached over and took his hand from Kendall's hair and threaded her fingers through his.

Thayer looked down at his daughter, "I have no choice, Sutton. You're pregnant. It is what it is." He sighed.

Sutton had an empty feeling in her heart as she looked at him, "So you just accept it because it happened and there's nothing you can do about it?"

Thayer rolled on his back, "It's not that Sutton, the more I think about it, the more I feel like it's right. I love you, Sutton and I love Kendall and you know I am going to love this baby unconditionally because it's mine. It's a piece of me."

Sutton swallowed hard knowing that finally this new baby was in fact a part of him, it felt good knowing that the baby inside her would make this family complete instead of rip it apart. "So you actually do love this baby."

"I love this baby, Sutton. I just hope that when this baby is born, I might be able to adapt to having two kids instead of just Kendall." He said looking at her.

She moved her hand to his cheek and rubbed his skin softly, "Thayer, you will be an amazing father to this little one as you are with Kendall." She leaned over her sleeping daughter and kissed his lips. "Everything will be okay."

Thayer smiled, "I know. I can't wait to find out the babies gender. It should be soon."

Sutton swallowed hard she knew that if she'd stayed pregnant with Harper, then she would be finding out the gender at her next appointment. "Honey, don't you want to be surprised with the babies born?"

Thayer looked at her, "No. I want to know as early as we can find out."

"What do you want? A boy or a girl?" She asked rubbing the skin on his hand.

Thayer looked at her, "I don't know. I mean, having one of each, I would be happy either way as long as it's healthy." He said squeezing her hand, "What about you?"

Sutton thought about this. She remembered her little son the palm of her hand. She looked down at the precious daughter asleep on her bed, "I don't know. I think Kendall would want a little sister. But then again, I think she'd be happier staying the only child." She laughed.

Thayer looked at his daughter, "Yeah, well I guess she'll have to get over it." He said smiling, then he kissed Kendall's forehead, "She'll be fine and she'll love this baby no matter what."

"I know." Sutton said. She slid down closer to Kendall and cuddled into her daughter's tiny body. The baby in her body fluttered and she smiled, thanking her father for the blessings he's given her in her life. She missed Ted more than anything but her family was a constant reminder that she was loved so much in this world.


	28. My Rock, My Baby

"Alright, let's get a good look at what's going on in here." Dr. Janowski said with a smile. It had been several weeks since her follow-up check up and now she was there for a happy reason. Sutton laid back on the bed and lifted her shirt. She'd brought Kendall with her, mostly because she didn't have anyone to watch her while she went to her appointment, but she figured it would be a good time for Kendall to get to see the start of life. Now Kendall sat on an office chair that seemed to swallow her tiny body whole. Her black Toms hung off her feet over the edge of the chair. She was exactly happy that the baby was getting all the attention, but the second Dr. Janowski looked at the little girl she remembered watching on the baby monitor saw her, she smiled and opened her arms. She lifted Kendall onto her hip and smiled. Kendall seemed to enjoy that kind of attention. Now, she folded her arms in the chair and looked at Sutton still wondering why Sutton was having another baby, as if she wasn't enough pride and joy for one person. It'd been several weeks since Sutton had found out she was pregnant and she was getting more and more excited. Dr. Janowski looked at Kendall, "Are you excited to have a baby brother or sister."

Kendall shook her head, "No!" She stated.

"We're working on getting her more comfortable with this whole new baby concept. She'd getting better with Ryleigh, but that's just her cousin. I don't know how she will feel when the babies constantly around everyday for the rest of her life." Sutton said. She looked at her daughter; just like everyone had mentioned, she hoped that Kendall would get over the attention whore trip and actually be excited for her new sibling.

"Well you know how these things go." She said to Sutton as she squirted the goo onto Sutton's stomach and she looked at Kendall, "Kendall, do you want to come stand by mommy and see your new brother or sister."

Kendall thought about that for a moment. She looked at Sutton who gave her a smile and patted the side of the bed and Kendall smiled, "Alright." She said sliding off the chair and over to her mom. Sutton scooted over and pulled her daughter up on the bed with her. Dr. Janowski took the monitor and placed it on Sutton's stomach, moving it around, "What's that noise?" The curious four year-old asked.

"Well that's the babies heartbeat, doesn't it sound funny?" Dr. Janowski asked.

Kendall smiled, "Yeah!" She agreed. Then she laughed and looked at Sutton, "That's a funny noise, momma!" She said.

Sutton smiled, remembering when she heard Kendall's heartbeat for the first time. She couldn't believe that almost years had passed since that day and now she was able to share this moment of joy with her child today. "I remember when I heard your heart beat." Sutton said poking her little girls belly.

Kendall looked at her mom with surprise, "You heard my heart beat too, momma?" She asked curiously.

Dr. Janowski nodded, "I remember that day too. You sounded very similar, Kendall."

Kendall shook her head disbelieving the words these goofy adults were saying and then she looked at Sutton, "Does it still sound like that?"

"It sounds very similar," Dr. Janowski said then she stopped on an image and looked at Sutton, "We have a baby." She said happily.

Sutton sat up on her elbows and looked at the screen, "Look, Kenzie, your baby sister or brother is saying hello." She said recognizing the small peanut-like mass.

Kendall struggled to find the baby and when she got frustrated, Dr. Janowski drew a circle on the screen around it and she made a face, "That doesn't look like a baby." She said shaking her head like these people had lied to her.

Dr. Janowski laughed, "Well the baby still has to grow. Do you remember when your Aunt Emma was pregnant?"

Kendall looked at the doctor, "Yeah."

"Well her baby started out looking like this too. Then as Ryleigh grew bigger, so did Aunt Emma's belly." Kendall nodded in understanding, "Well mommy's belly is going to grow big as your sister or brother gets bigger." Kendall nodded understanding this very basic description of the cycle of life, but it was all still so confusing. "Do you want a baby brother or a sister?"

Kendall put a finger under her chin, tilted her head slightly to the left and looked up in thought, "Mm, a baby sister!" She said proudly.

Sutton looked at Kendall, "Well we won't know for a little while, but maybe we can have a baby sister soon."

Kendall nodded, "Ok mommy." She said then she looked at Sutton with a serious, "Mommy? How'd the baby get in your belly?"

Emma drew in a sigh of relief, seeing her husbands, slow but steady footsteps with the crutches gave her hope that he was progressing in his recovery. Things had seemed to be going smoothly since the night in the trauma center the night Ethan was shot. She'd opted to have a chair lift installed for Ethan to access the upstairs until his strength had regained enough to climb stairs, but that was probably one of the last things he'd accomplish before full recovery. Now, she sat beside him on a couch. Her hand on his knee gently rubbed his skin and she wondered if he could feel it at all. They were alone in a tiny psychologist office. They'd been attending weekly therapy sessions since the first week Ethan was home. The doctor's suggested that in this trying time it would be good for both of them to attend private and couples counseling to help deal with the troubles they'd be experiencing. "How are you feeling?" Emma asked, brushing a stray piece of hair off of his face.

He closed his eyes to her touch, it seemed like the only way he could experience her touch was when she touched him above the area where he was injured. He opened his eyes and looked at her shrugging a little, "I guess I'm okay." He said shaking his head.

She looked at him, "Are you sure?" It seemed like no matter how stressful life got. How difficult it was to do simple tasks with a disabled husband and an infant, when he looked at her with those sympathetic eyes on the verge of crying her heart sank. It didn't matter how trivial those things were, Ethan was everything to her. Giving up would be the easy way out. She was never one for the easy way.

His hand reached for hers and gently brushed her fingertips, "I just don't get it." He said simply.

Emma tilted her head confused, "What do you mean?" She asked.

Ethan looked up at her, her brown eyes smiled into his and it was amazing how much warmth and love could be expressed just be a simple stare. Sure they always said there's someone out there for everyone but how could he have gotten so lucky? He thought, "I just don't understand how incredible you are." He felt his heart pull with the words still yet to be said, he swallowed hard and shook his head, "You're perfect Emma. And I know I've said it about a dozen and a half times but it's true, babe. You stood by me through all of this and I know it's not easy and I know it won't get any easier until I'm better, but you've been such a rock. Truly, you've been my rock. If I didn't have you and I didn't have Ryleigh, I'd have no motivation to regain my mobility."

Emma's bottom lip quivered and she gripped his hand, "My love for you is beyond stronger than anything that life could throw at us. I meant it when I promised to stand by you tip death do we part. Without you, Ethan I'm just half of a heart living a pointless life. I know you think I'm the strong one here, Ethan and I promise you I've had my share of weakness but when I wake up and see you smiling at me, or when I catch glimpses of the way your daughter looks at you, it's worth every weak moment. You are worth every weak moment in my life. You are worth every strong moment in my life. If I didn't have you, I'd have nothing." Then she smiled and leaned into his lips pressing hers gently on his, "You are everything I have ever dreamt about." She said pulling back, "I'm not going anyway anytime soon."

Ethan smiled, though her words were sweet, he still wondered why she chose him to spend the rest of her life with. It wasn't that Ethan hated himself or had low self-esteem, but he always thought so highly of Emma. She was a real woman. Someone worth far more than Ethan could ever provide for. Maybe I shouldn't rock the boat, he told himself. He leaned in and closed his eyes, "At least 50 years?"

Emma smiled, "mmm, more like 60?"

"70!" He said smiling. He squeezed her hand, "As long as I live." He said, "Because I'm dying before you."

Emma shook her head, "No, I'm dying first." She laughed.

Ethan raised his eyebrows and shook his head, "Nope. I called it, you were too slow."

"How about we die at the exact same time so we never have to spend any time apart." Then she kissed him and rested her head on his shoulder just as the does to the office opened and a young roman greeted them. Emma sat up and looked at her greeting her back.


	29. Where Does The Time Go?

"Kendall!" Sutton said frustrated with her daughter, she'd spent almost an hour trying on uniform sizes for Kendall's first year of school. It was amazing how fast time seemed to fly away. Her first born was starting school in a month but she felt like it was only yesterday when she brought that tiny baby home, wrapped in a pink blanket. Her features were so small and now she was almost 3 and a half feet tall. Now she had been struggling to get her daughter to let her dress her in the dressing room of the small store exclusively for school uniforms. It was like being stuck in a store of plaid and polo's. It reminded her of her elementary school days before she pitched a fit to Ted to let her go to public school even though he swore she'd get a better education at the Academy she already attended. Though he reluctantly caved in her sophomore year when she threatened to get herself kicked out so she was forced to go to public school. So why she thought it was a good idea to put her own kid through that kind of private school torture was beyond her, but when she looked at Kendall in the familiar plaid jumper and polo, she couldn't believe how utterly cute she was. Plus, being forced to wear the same 3 outfits everyday would make it easier to get Kendall to school especially when the new baby arrive. Which reminded her, she had an appointment in a hour and she really needed to get this done so she could meet with Thayer to get lunch and find out the gender of their child. "I need you to please cooperate with me, we need to get going, daddy's going to meet us for lunch and then we are going to find out if you're having a brother or a sister. Aren't you excited for that?"

Kendall looked at the small bump protruding from Sutton's middle and then looked up and smiled, "I hope it's a sister!" She said. She put her arms up so Sutton could slip the white polo with the school's logo stitched in the upper left-hand corner and pulled the jumper over Kendall's shoulder's. She checked the fit of the jumper and when it looked like it fit she slipped it off her daughter and put the little girl's regular clothes back on. She grabbed two jumpers of the same size and a matching plaid skirt, blue skirt and khaki skirt that was on the mandatory uniform list for Kindergarten students. She made sure to grab a few polo's in the three allowed color's; black, white and navy blue. Just for fun she grabbed a few school approved hair bows and headbands to accessorize the strict uniform code. By the time they checked out, she'd spent over $300 and she felt like she could faint and that was on top of the $20,000 she was spending annually in tuition to send Kendall to the school. Now she had Kendall in the booster seat in the car, staring out the window. She played a few of her Kendall approved mommy tunes playing and for a moment, she caught her daughter singing along. It was funny how she knew every word to every song and even some times she'd hold up a fist pretending it was a microphone. It was times like this she wished she had the camera to capture these silly moments. But she smiled as she pulled into the McDonald's just a mile from Dr. Janowski's office and found Thayer sitting at an empty table. She pulled open the door and Kendall ran flying into Thayer's arms, "daddy!" She exclaimed.

Thayer lifted up his little girl and held her, "Hi sweetheart, how was school shopping?" He asked.

"Boring." SHe stated looking down in sadness.

"Boring? How could shopping be boring?" He said then he smiled at Sutton and leaned in for a kiss.

"I'm not sure munchkin is ready for all the changes happening." Sutton said rubbing her belly.

Thayer nodded in understanding and looked at Kendall, "You are going to like school honey." He said kissing her forehead.

Kendall looked up at him, "I don't like the clothes." She said.

Thayer laughed knowing that over the short four and a half years Sutton had raised her she'd turned Kendall into a little fashionista only buying her the most expensive outfits. Half of her wardrobe had been purchased from either J. Crew Kids or Juicy Couture. Though she had a lot of cheaper clothes, those were saved mostly for lazy days at home. Sutton almost always made a statement when it came to dressing her daughter and now that Kendall was old enough to pick out her own outfits, she was very particular about the clothes she wanted to wear. Today she'd chased her bling skinny dark wash jeans, a white shirt that said choose Juicy, with a black vest like jacket over top and a black knitted beret on her head. Her hair was pulled back in a low bun and her ears dangled little Eiffel Towers from their lobes. She kicked black and gold sandals against her small feet that had been freshly manicured in a sparkly pink nail polish she picked from Sutton's collection. "Well honey, everyone in your class will all have the same clothes on."

"Why?" She asked crinkling her face, "That's stupid."

Thayer smiled as he stepped up to the counter to place their order. When he was done he paid the cashier and took a step out of the way to allow the next person to order. He looked at her, "Because baby, in private school all the kids wear the same outfits so no one looks different." He said honestly, unsure of how to explain school uniforms to his daughter.

She looked at him, "That's silly daddy. People are a 'posed to look different!" she grinned. Thayer was saved by the food trays being shoved his way and he put Kendall down.

"Go find mama and I'll be right behind you with lunch." He instructed. Kendall nodded and turned around scouring the entire dining room for her mom and when she saw Sutton, she ran towards her, climbing into the booth beside her.

After they ate, they headed over to Dr. Janowski's office. Sutton's nerves seemed to sky rocket every time she thought about the gender of her baby. She wasn't sure what she wanted herself. She'd asked everyone but herself if she wanted a boy or a girl. She had debated back and forth. The guilt of the loss of Harper still weighed heavily on her heart but wanting another little girl would be sweet too. She looked up at the sound of her name being called from the door. She stood up and walked past the door and down the hall. Thayer followed with Kendall in his arm. She reached for his hand and squeezed it when he slid his hand between hers. Having that connection seemed to calm her down. Having her family behind her made her feel like it didn't matter what she was having. Her family was her everything and no matter what she was having, she knew this would only make her family better.

In the small examining room, Sutton sat on the examination table and looked at Thayer, "Are you ready for this?" She asked. Her heart pounded.

Thayer smiled at her. Kendall sat in his lap, her thumb in her mouth and she looked down at the ground, "I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Just take a deep breath and relax. It doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl as long as it's healthy. That's what matters."

Kendall looked up at her father and popped her thumb out of her mouth, "But I want a sister." She whined.

Thayer looked at her, "I know but don't you think it would be nice to have a brother?"

Kendall looked at her mother. Sutton's hands rubbed her small baby bump and she looked down at her daughter. Kendall's eyebrows furrowed and she pouted, "I want a sister though!" She protested.

Sutton shook her head knowing that the opinion of a four year old was only that- the opinion of a four year old. Sure, her opinion mattered, Sutton reminded herself. But the little girl didn't fully understand these things and quite frankly Sutton didn't mind keeping those details a secret for a long, long time. "Well either way you're going to have a sibling, that's fun right?" She asked hoping to make her daughter smile.

Kendall looked up at her mom, a worried look on her face, "Will you still love me when the baby comes?" She asked. Her voice pinched with sadness.

Sutton opened her arms, "Come here, baby," She said. Kendall slid from Thayer's lap and ran over to Sutton. Sutton lifted the little girl and put her on her lap. She brushed Kendall's long locks of hair behind her ear and wrapped her arms around the little girls tiny body, "Listen to me, ok?" She said Kendall nodded looking at her mom, Sutton looked at her little girl. A sudden memory of her first night with her daughter flashed in her memory and she kissed Kendall's forehead, "You are always going to be mommy and daddy's baby girl. No matter what you do, we will love you more than you will ever be able to know. A baby brother or sister will need a lot of mommy and daddy's attention, just like you did when you were a baby, but a baby won't take away how much we love you, Kendall."

Kendall looked up at her mom, "I love you too, mommy." Then she wrapped her arms around Sutton's neck and hugged her mother.

Just then the door opened and Dr. Janowski entered the room, "Hello everyone. I see you have the whole family with you for this special day." She said. "If you wanna assume the position, Sutton we can get this thing going." She said. Sutton laid back on the table. Kendall went back to Thayer's lap and Sutton put her feet in the stirrup's. She lifted her shirt and Dr. Janowski applied some of the goo to her skin. It was exceptionally colder today than it had been in the past and it made Sutton suck in her stomach. When she relaxed, Dr. Janowski began looking for the position the baby was in. As she did the time before, she invited Kendall and Thayer to join at Sutton's side to watch the action firsthand. When she found the tiny baby growing in her womb she stopped and smiled, "alright let's see what's growing in there. Is it a boy or a girl?" She looked at Kendall, "What do you think?"

Kendall looked at the screen and then at Dr. Janowski, "A girl!" She said proudly.

Dr. Janowski nodded and then looked at Thayer, "And you dad, what do you think it is?"

Thayer looked at Sutton and smiled, she squeezed his hand and he looked at the doctor, "I think as long as it a healthy baby, I will love it no matter what."

Dr. Janowski smiled at Thayer's answer. "Well Kendall, I think you got your wish. It looks like we got a baby girl growing in there."

Kendall threw her hands in the air, "a baby sister?" She asked proudly.

Sutton nodded, "Yeah, a baby sister. Now are you happy?"

Kendall nodded, "Very happy mama!" She said.

Sutton looked at Thayer. How reaction wasn't quite as full of joy as his daughter's but he still smiled, "A healthy baby girl." He said softly. He squeezed Sutton's hand, "Another daughter." He said kissing her on the lips.

Sutton already started thinking about names as she sat in the air on the way home, "What about Ella? Ella Jayne?" She said smiling. She put her hands on her belly to try and gauge a name suitable for her daughter, but there were so many names flowing through her head.

Thayer looked at her, "We have 4 more month's to come up with the perfect name, baby. Just relax and enjoy the pregnancy." He said as he drove down the highway. Kendall slept silently in the back seat. A long day of school uniform shopping and finding out that she was having a sister really wore the child out.


	30. Moving On

Sutton pushed open the door to a room that nobody has set foot in in over a year, yet it looked like nothing had changed. The bed was perfectly made. The desk in the far corner was still neatly organized. Only some of Emma's favorite pictures had come off the wall and followed her to her new home. Now she stood there next to her twin and Thayer ready to transform her old roommates bedroom into a nursery. Though she couldn't do any heavy lifting, she helped Emma box her old knick knacks while the men disabled the queen sized bed. "This is so weird." Emma said taking the first step into her room. "It's still so normal and yet not."

Sutton followed her, "Like you were just here." She said looking around the room. Emma had cleared out many room's in her life in foster care, but this one was one of the most bittersweet. Her room at the Mercer's was still pretty much intact, so this was the first sentimental space she had to give up.

She grabbed an empty box and moved to her desk, putting stacks of notebooks into the box. She picked up one and flipped through the pages, most of them were filled with crayon scribbles and in her own handwriting, her niece's name, age 1 and a half. She smiled at one of the "pictures." It wasn't much just a few scribbles but it was a work of art, her niece's work of art. She remembered the day Kendall drew it. It had been raining all day. Sutton was out and Emma offered to babysit Kendall who had a cold. They laid on Emma's bed, a pack of crayon's sprawled over the comforter and her notebook opened to a fresh page. Kendall picked up a crayon, "Purple." She taught her niece, "Can you say purple?"

Kendall fisted the crayon, bragging her hand in lines and scribbles across the page, "pup-ple." She babbled.

Emma smiled, "Very good." She said holding up a hand, "High five!" Kendall looked up and dropped the fat purple crayon on the notebook, it rolled off the page and stuck under her leg, but she smiled at Emma and held up a hand, gently placing it on her Aunt's in a high five. Now Emma looked up at her sister, "I remember when Kenzie drew this." she smiled.

Sutton looked at it, "She was so little back then. Look at how light her writing was." She said pulling it onto her lap, "Can I have one of her pictures? I miss these pictures. Now she's drawing cats with 8 legs and people with arms and legs coming out of their faces. Not that those are adorable abnormal drawings." Just then she felt something like a cricket hop across her stomach."ooh." She laughed.

Emma looked up at her, "What?"

"The baby kicked." She said taking her sister's hand and placing it on her rounded stomach.

The baby kicked again and Emma smiled, "You never get used to that feeling do you?" She asked remembering when Ryleigh first kicked in her womb. It was the best and weirdest feeling she'd ever felt. "Makes you want another one." She said.

"Yeah, Well if Ethan's anything like me, you'll have a lot of begging to do." Thayer said looking up from the bed frame where he unscrewed the corners of the wooden frame.

Emma looked at him, "No. I'm not going to have another one for a while." She said rolling her eyes. She'd left Ryleigh at home with Ethan and Kristin while she helped clear out her old room. Even though Ethan was walking these days it was still at slow pace and with the aid of crutches. He was still months away before he was strong enough to walk on his own.

"All I'm saying is don't spring it on him like your sister did." He said. Though he was joking and Sutton knew that, she still felt hurt by his words. You could blame pregnancy hormones, but she still placed her hand on her stomach, feeling her daughter's little feet press against her hand.

Once they had cleared out the room, Sutton brought in the dismantled pieces of Kendall's old crib. She remembered all those nights in her room at her mother's house. When she'd rock an overly tired infant to sleep. How did that little girl grow up so fast? She wondered. The room seemed so much bigger after everything was cleared out. Thayer grabbed the can's of lavender purple paint and set up the tarp. While he painted the room, the girls went out to do what all girls do best, shop.

They stopped at the small boutique Sutton had bought some of Kendall's first outfits at. Though Amanda had moved for work, it was still one of Sutton's favorite places to shop and she'd gotten Emma interested when she was pregnant with Ryleigh. Now they'd picked up Ryleigh from Emma's to give her mom a break, they had her resting in the carrier on top of the stroller where Kendall sat. Sutton found it easier dealing with her daughter if she was strapped into the stroller. This way she didn't run off like she was so famous for doing, "Shopping is way more fun now that I know it's girl." She said looking at a cute sailor dress. She didn't seem as impressed with the cutesy outfits like she was with Kendall, but she still wanted a few outfits to give the new baby her own style. Even though she still had all of Kendall's old clothes, enough to dress the new baby- which she finally named Aubrea Danielle- for the rest of her life. She picked up a onesie and smiled. She held it up, "Em, look." She said, "This is too cute." She said. She held up a tiny orange onesie that said "Just did nine months on the inside" written like a criminal had tacked the months away in the slammer on a chalkboard.

Emma looked up and smiled, "Oh how adorable is that?" She said taking the small garment from her sister's hands, "I think Aubrea is going to look so cute in this!" She said giving it back to Sutton. Sutton placed it on the top of the stroller that Kendall and Ryleigh both slept soundly in. Every so often a passerby, usually an older woman would admire the sleeping children with a smile and an occasional, 'aren't they precious,' comment. It was still so weird to Emma when some stranger would stare at her daughter in a store or a restaurant. It didn't occur to her that they were just admiring her child. After four years, Sutton seemed to be so used to it. When Kendall was younger, they'd generate their comments towards Sutton, but now they'd make a comment to Kendall about how pretty her dress was or how long her hair was. Though not so much at home, the shy four year old would recoil behind her mom's leg and when instructed by Sutton would mumble a soft 'thank you.' Emma looked, "Is it going to be weird when strangers look over at Aubrea and admire her from afar?" She asked.

Sutton shrugged some and put her hands on her now very pregnant belly. She was due in only a few weeks and it was down to the wire, getting Aubrea's room set up, "I don't know. I'm so used to people coming up to Kendall and saying stuff to her, I haven't even begun to imagine life with two kids instead of one."

Emma gave her sister a soft smile, "Yeah, it's definitely going to be different. Are you ready for the up at all hours of the night feedings and constant diaper changes?" She asked knowing all too well the restless nights with a newborn. She was still getting Ryleigh to sleep through the night and now she was only a few months shy of her first birthday and Ryleigh was still waking up every four hours to be fed.

Sutton looked at her daughter, "I don't know. I feel like all of those memories with Kenz was such a blur, like I was so consumed with Thayer's disappearance that I can't remember it too well. I think it was easier back then when she was in my room with me, but now Aubrea's going to be upstairs. I'm just afraid I won't hear her when she cries." She said rubbing the baby who was making obvious movements in her belly.

"You'll hear her. You'll be more sensitive to that sound. Just like you were with Kendall." Emma reassured her sister.

"I know, I just don't want anything to happen to her." She said.

Emma squeezed Sutton's arm feeling like even though they were twins nothing brought them closer than when they talked about being mother's, "Nothing bad will happen. Don't forget that Daddy's watching over us. He will keep us safe and you're a great mom already. It's normal to feel these things but you're amazing and you know that."

Sutton smiled, "Thanks Em." Then she looked at a table of little nursery decor. She was still wondering what theme she wanted to decorate the nursery in. She had Thayer painting the room a light shade of lavender, she wasn't sure what she wanted the rest to look like. She'd surfed pinterest for ideas, but nothing seemed to pop out at her. She hoped maybe shopping would inspire something great, but instead she sighed and began pushing the stroller towards the register to check out.

**A/N: Whew! I'm soooo sorry that was like the longest break in the history of forever, but I've been busy lately and this was a slow chapter (I'm sorry). Luckily things are about to pick up so I will be enjoying writing more. Anyways, leave comments! I love y'alls feedback! :)**


	31. Heart Of The World pt 1

Emma's heart skipped a beat as she stood out on her front lawn. Her four bedroom house had gone from a guest room, an office, Ryleigh's room and Emma and Ethan's room to being a guest room, Ryleigh's room, Ethan and Emma's room and now Savannah had her own room. Emma had spent almost an entire weekend transforming the office where she often did work or paid the bills into a bedroom for Savannah. Even since she'd gotten word that her case for joint custody of her daughter was awarded in her favor, she began making Savannah a space she could call her own. It wasn't long before a black buick enclave pulled into her driveway. For a moment, Emma's stomach knotted knowing just who was pulling into her driveway but then relaxed when she saw her daughter step out from the passenger's side. She gave Emma a smile and pulled a large suitcase from the back seat. She looked back at the driver, "Bye dad!" She said and shut the door. Emma watched as the car backed out of the driveway and down the street out of the neighborhood. Emma relaxed when the car was out of sight and opened her arms. Savannah snuggled into her mom's embrace. Emma's small stature made Savannah stand almost as tall as her. She wasn't used to having an older kid around.

"How are you?" She asked as they headed back into the house. The house was quiet since both Ethan and Ryleigh had passed out. Him on the couch and her in the pack and play. Emma dragged the suitcase behind her and up the stairs when she felt her phone in her back pocket buzz. She ignored it until she reached Savannah's room and then looked at her message. Her eyes lit up, "Oh my god!"

Savannah spun around and followed her mom out of the room and down the hallway, "Mom? Are you okay?" The smile on Emma's face assured her that something wasn't wrong.

Emma looked at her daughter, "My sister is in labor." She said then turned down towards the stairs, "Ethan?" She said gleefully, "Honey wake up. Sutton is in labor."

Ethan's eyes fluttered open and he immediately yawned, "What?"

"Sutton's having the baby." She said now from the kitchen. She was grabbing snacks and bottles from the fridge and grabbed the diaper bag by the door to the garage. She went to Ryleigh's pack and play and lifted the baby. She was immediately woken and began crying but soon calmed down when she looked at Emma.

"Wait! So your sister is having a baby? Like, right now?" The ten year old said. She followed Emma out of the house and to the car parked in the garage. She began arranging Ryleigh in her car seat and eventually Ethan managed to slowly get to the car. She still had to help him into the car, but it was easier than when he was in the wheelchair. She slowly backed out of the garage and headed towards the hospital.

"Why is mommy crying?" Kendall asked, sitting on Thayer's lap. Sutton had been two hours into labor and it was beginning to get increasingly painful. Beads of sweat formed on her forehead and occasionally she'd wipe it off with the cool towel a nurse gave her. She'd yet to be cleared for the epidural but she couldn't wait for the sweet moment when the doctors would come take the edge off.

Thayer looked at Kendall wondering if the five year old should really be witnessing child birth, "Well honey, mommy has to get the baby out of her tummy and it takes time and effort to get the baby out." He said honestly hoping she wouldn't go into one of her ask a million questions about everything tyraids like she was getting known for.

Kendall looked at the pained look on Sutton's face and then she looked back at her dad, "Does it hurt?"

Thayer looked at Sutton too. She was laying on her side to ease the pain in her back and she was moaning as a contraction began it's course, "It's painful honey right now, but soon a doctor will give mommy some medicine to help the pain. Just like when mommy gives you medicine when you're sick to help you feel better."

Kendall smiled in a approval of her father's explanation and Thayer hoped this was the end of health class for today, but then she looked at him, "How did Aubrea get in mommy's tummy? Did she eat her?"

Thayer's heart skipped a beat. That dreaded question no parent wants to talk about with their kid let alone a 5 year old. He looked at her, "No honey. Mommy and Daddy made Aubrea just like we made you."

Kendall looked back at Sutton, she seemed mildly oblivious to the conversation she was having with Thayer and then she looked back at him, "Is she going to look like me?"

Thayer drew in a sigh of relief hoping she wouldn't further ask how they made Aubrea and he smiled at her, "She might look a little like you. But she won't look exactly like you."

"But she's my sister." She said looking confused.

"She is your sister." Thayer confirmed. Another wave of contractions washed over Sutton and she remembered that this was more painful than she remembered.

"But Auntie Emma looks like mommy and she's her sister." She said. From across the room, Sutton moaned low and looked at her own mother.

Thayer let out a laugh, "Well honey. Emma and Sutton are a special kind of sister." He started to explain, "They are called twins."

"What are twins?" She asked. She grabbed her sippy cup of juice from the table and drew in long sips.

Thayer readjusted the child on his lap, "Well twins are a set of babies born at the same time. That is why Mommy and Emma have the same birthday. Their mommy gave birth to them on the same day. You and Aubrea were born on different days in different years. So you're a big sister, but not a twin."

Kendall nodded and a nurse made her way into the room, "Good afternoon, how are we feeling, Sutton?"

Sutton's sweaty face relaxed but looked up painfully at the nurse, "When can I get the epidural?" She asked. Thayer moved the little girl to her feet and moved next to Sutton. She reached for his hand and squeezed it as a contraction began.

When she relaxed, the nurse looked up at her, "You should be ready in about an hour. I will send the doctor in to check on your progress." She said. "Have they given you anything else for the pain?"

Sutton shook her head, "No."

"We can administer demerol. I will go ahead and set that up for you." She said with a smile. Sutton gave her a smile but wanted to strangle her.

When the nurse left Sutton gripped her fists, "Take your sweet ass time with that demerol honey. You're not the one pushing a watermelon sized person through a hole the size of a lemon!" She said.

Kendall climbed up on the chair next to her mom and she kissed her forehead, "I love you mommy. I know you can do it." She said encouragingly.

Sutton reached for her daughter's hand and smiled, "Oh honey, Thank you." Soon another contraction came over her and a doctor came in.

"Hi, Sutton. How are you feeling?" He asked cheerily.

All of this chipper happy attitude was really driving Sutton crazy. How did she feel? She thought. Wonderful! She wanted to say, but she smiled through the pain, "Like I'm in labor."

The doctor nodded, "Good, then you're right where you should be. Looks like we can go ahead and get you ready for an epidural." He said.

Those words were like Christmas morning. Like the Santa of child labor had come to deliver good news of great joy. Yes, she thought. Come take away my pain. Knock me out, she wanted to say. Just get this child out of me. But she stayed calm and achingly sat up. The doctor administered the shot to her lower back and in a few minutes her pain was gone. She laid back again with the help of a nurse and she looked over at her fiancé, "Can this be over now?"

Thayer smiled at her. If he could take all the pain away and do this for her he would. He took her hand and held it tightly in his, "Soon my love we will have a baby. Try and relax now." Then he kissed her forehead.

**A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for all the comments! I love reading your thoughts! I haven't lost my inspiration! I have some things planned for this story, I just don't have a lot of extra time to write it all. Hopefully you guys enjoyed this chapter! :) Leave me a comment and let me know!**


	32. Aubrea Danielle Rybak

Emma and Savannah arrived at the hospital not too much longer after Emma received the call that Sutton had gone into labor. She ran through the halls with her daughter right behind her, "Mom!" Savannah called out, "Mom slow down!" Emma still wasn't used to being called mom and it still seemed to be so weird. She was still so young to be a mom. But here she was with two wonderful little girls and now she hoped she'd make it in time to see her new niece come into the world. She was out of breath when she made it to the delivery room.

"Emma!" Sutton said from the bed. She smiled weakly at the two as they came into the room gasping for air. "Savannah you guys made it!"

Emma looked up at her sister and smiled. She moved to the bed beside her, "We wouldn't miss this for the world." She said. She took Sutton's hand and Sutton immediately squeezed it as a contraction washed over her. "Are you ready for a new baby?" She asked pushing some of Sutton's hair off of her face.

Sutton looked up at her, "I'm ready to get this one out of me." She said. Then she looked down, "I just hope that I will be a good mom." She confessed.

"Sutton," Thayer said pushing closer towards her, "You are an incredible mom. You always have. You always will be." He said kissing her forehead. By now, the family had gathered in the room awaiting the delivery of little Aubrea. Sutton relaxed between contractions but now they were too close to catch a break. She remembered this was close to delivery time and her heart skipped a beat. After everything she'd been through that year, everything with Austin and Harper and everything with Thayer, a part of her wasn't sure she was ready to see her daughter just yet. Next to her, Kendall looked at her. It was amazing just how much she looked like Sutton when she was 5 years old. Her face twisted with confusion but everybody kept her busy asking her questions about how she felt about all of this. Her answer seemed pretty consistent. She'd smile and look at Sutton and then back at her asker and reply with something about how she was excited to be a big sister.

A nurse walked in with a doctor in tow and she smiled, "Well Sutton it looks like we are getting close." She said. The doctor saddled up and lifted the blue veil covering the bottom half of Sutton's body. Something seemed so intrusive about having all these strangers looking at her most private area, but right now it didn't matter, she just wanted Aubrea out of her.

He made some comments then lifted his head and looked at Sutton, "You are just about 10 centimeters, Sutton. Let's go ahead and prep you for delivery." He said.

A few nurses adjusted the position Sutton had been laying in and she positioned her for delivery. It wasn't much long after when the doctor instructed her to begin pushing. Her first pushes seemed normal. It wasn't until she began feeling light headed that she knew something was wrong. She wanted to stop, but her doctor instructed her to stop. She pushed hard as her doctor's face dropped, trying to remain calm. Behind her, the ECG machine beeped slowly. She looked at Thayer but his face was in shock. All around her people looked in shock and before she knew it, they were whisking her away to the operating room. Thayer tossed Kendall in Alec's arms. Beside him Kristen shook and she quietly cried. Sutton wanted to reach out for Thayer but she was numb. Her body felt weightless and all she could do was look at the worried look on his face and soon he was being pushed aside by nurses as they worked the IV in her arm. No, she thought. She couldn't speak and the room seemed blurry. I need him. She wanted to scream. What was going on? She wondered but she was silenced, and in a matter of minutes she was on an operating table. Soon enough Thayer was by her side, he whispered something she couldn't understand, but he grabbed her hand. The familiar touch warmed her and she smiled at him. It seemed like only seconds that was really almost an hour, when a piercing scream filled the room. Thayer's eyes welled with tears and he looked at Sutton, "Oh honey, she's beautiful." He said kissing Sutton's forehead.

Sutton wanted to look at Aubrea, wanted to hold her, but she looked at Thayer, "What happened?" She asked when she finally felt like a two ton elephant wasn't sitting on her chest.

Thayer swallowed and squeezed her hand rubbing her skin with his thumb, "There were complications. Aubrea was twisted the wrong way and you went into shock. We almost lost Aubrea." He said gently.

Sutton shook her head, "No." She cried, "Where is she?"

Thayer looked at her and wiped the tear that slid down her temple, "They took her for examinations, she'll be okay."

Sutton's heart pounded, "No." She said, "I need her. She needs her mommy."

She wanted to get up and find Aubrea but her body was still numb. She looked at Thayer but he stayed a rock, "She will be here soon sweet heart, just rest for now. I'm not leaving your side."

She looked at him, knowing she was helpless but she still wanted to see Aubrea. It seemed like an eternity before the tiny baby came back in the room wrapped in a little hospital blanket and pink beanie. Her face was so small. Her skin was dark and she knew that this one was going to look like Thayer. When she opened her brown eyes, they immediately locked with Sutton and she smiled, falling in love with Aubrea just like she had with Kendall. "Hi there, sweet heart." She said softly. She looked at Thayer who was grinning and she couldn't help but smile. This was something she had craved when she was in labor with Kendall and being able to finally share it with him was the most satisfying feeling she'd felt in a long time.

It was hours before Sutton came back to the recovery room, Aubrea had been taken to the nursery for care while she recovered from her surgery and when she arrived, she seemed swarmed by people crowding her bed. She searched the room and when she finally saw her daughter, she smiled, "Bring Kendall over here." She said even though Kendall was sleeping soundly on the couch under the window.

Thayer lifted the sleeping girl and she opened her eyes and looked at him, "Where's mommy?" she asked through her sleep.

Sutton's heart melted to hear Kendall say that. Kendall relaxed into Thayer's arms, but he quickly laid her beside Sutton, "I'm right here, sweet heart." She said wrapping her arms around the little girl.

Kendall yawned, "What happened to baby Aubrea?" She asked.

Thayer looked at Sutton knowing she was too tired to answer the little girls questions, "She's with the nurses, sweetie. She will be here in a little while and then you can meet your sister."

Kendall smiled, "I hope she loves me." She said. She snuggled into the crook of Sutton's arm and closed her eyes again.

Thayer leaned over knowing it was way past Kendall's bedtime and he kissed her forehead, "She will love you so much baby." He whispered, "Just like I do."

Sutton too closed her eyes but she smiled at Thayer's words, after everything that had happened in the last 5 years, if she knew it would all lead to this, she'd go through it all again just to have her family together, "I love you both." She whispered and she felt Thayer's soft lips press against hers, "You especially." She said between kisses. She settled into Kendall's body and let the exhaustion of the day wash over her allowing her to finally get some rest.


	33. First Day Of School Blues

Ok Kenzie, smile!" Sutton said bending down to angle her camera perfectly. It was the first day of kindergarten only a month after Aubrea's birth and now she had the tiny baby sound asleep in her carrier and Kendall standing beside her. Kendall's hair was pulled in a high ponytail, a plaid hair bow adorned the top. She wore a white polo and a plaid skirt that matched the bow in her hair. Her black leather shoes were unfastened and her socks came up below her knees. Sutton still remembered the days when she was forced to wear the hideous uniforms with a cringe. Yet, there was something so sweet and innocent about seeing Kendall in the same attire. Kendall's brown hair, that had darkened with age, curled at the end of her ponytail and now hung over her shoulder as she bent down looking at Aubrea. She made some kind of strange noise that startled the infant causing her to cry. Sutton sighed in aggravation, "Kendall did you really need to wake up your sister?" She snapped.

Kendall shot her head up and looked at Sutton, "I'm sorry mommy." She said quietly, "I didn't mean to."

Sutton looked at her daughter, "You know better than to wake her up when she's sleeping."

Kendall's brow's furrowed and she crossed her arms over her chest, " She's always sleeping!" She said angrily.

Sutton pushed her daughter's arms down and looked at her, "Can you please just stop for one minute so I can take a picture of your first day of school?" She begged.

Kendall looked at her, "No! I don't wanna go to school." She said running into the living room.

Sutton who'd been squatting now stood up and looked at Kendall, "Fine." she said to herself, "We'll just have to settle for the second day of school photo." Then she grabbed the lunch box she'd packed for Kendall and her car key's from the bar in the kitchen and lifted Aubrea's carrier, "Come on. You're going to be late. Let's get in the car."

"No!" Kendall protested. Today, was really the first day Kendall would be spending away from her family. All her life, no matter where she went someone in her family was always there. "I wanna stay here with you."

Sutton knew the 20 minute drive to the school was going to be extra long with morning commuters on their way to work and school. There was no time for this nonsense. She stamped her foot on the ground, "Kendall, I'm not asking you. I'm telling you and if you're tiny heiny is not in that booster seat before I get to ten, you're going to be very sorry." It was still so knew to Sutton to be disciplining her daughter like this. She still felt like she was too young for all of this. Even when they hung out at 'Meet The Teacher' day, Sutton felt like the youngest parent there. She sternly looked at Kendall, "Kendall, one. Get off your butt and get in the car."

Kendall pushed her mom's button's and stood her ground, "I'm not going to school!"

"Two! You are going to school." She said. Now she was just livid but there was only one of her and two of them. She couldn't just strap Aubrea in her seat in the car and deal with Kendall and she couldn't leave the baby in the house while she fought with Kendall to get in the car. It was times like this she wished Thayer hadn't decided to go back to school and register for such early classes, but with him getting out of class at 2, he was able to pick up Kendall from school when Sutton finally went back to work from maternity leave. Kendall looked at Sutton knowing her mom meant business, but she still didn't budge, she just shook her head. Sutton sighed and set Aubrea's car seat down. If she was going to be safe anywhere it would be in the house while she fought with her older daughter to get her in the car. She paced over towards Kendall and grabbed her by the arm. Kendall let out a scream so loud it caused Aubrea to cry, but Sutton wasn't buying into her poor me act. She pulled the child in protest out of the house and into her car. When Kendall was fastened in her seat, Sutton stood up and pushed her hair off of her sweaty face. Who needed a gym when she had a defiant five year old to fight with? It was practically a workout in itself. She slammed the car door and went back to the house to get Aubrea. the baby now was screaming her head off when she finally realized her mom was nowhere to rescue her. She immediately stopped crying when she saw Sutton. She wanted to cuddle the baby but she knew there was no time. She hooked the babies car seat into the restraint and then climbed into the car. Now both girl's were crying and Sutton would have given anything to just get some quiet in her life.

By the time Sutton pulled into the school, the girl's had settled down. Now Kendall laid her head against the glass of the window and stared quietly at the buildings that passed by on their way and Aubrea had fallen asleep in her car seat. Sutton found an empty spot in the parking lot and opened the stroller she'd had from when Kendall was a baby. When she had Aubrea settled, she reached out for her daughter's hand, "Come on baby." Part of her was nervous to be making such a huge leap in her daughter's life. She'd never left her anywhere for longer than an hour by herself unless she was with family.

Kendall wrapped her hand around Sutton's as they made their way across the parking lot. The kids all looked the same. Variations of the same basic uniform. The older kids wore khaki's and polo's while the younger kids wore plaid jumpers, or skirts with the same polo. Kendall's sophia the first backpack bounced against her back with all of the supplies she was required to buy for the first day of school. It seemed like quite a walk before they reached the Kindergarten quarter of the school. About 4 classrooms at the end of hallway were decorated with big paper trees, children's names on apples hung on the leaves. Though, Sutton knew Kendall's classroom was the first one on the right, she let Kendall look for her name on the apples. "Here mommy!" she said picking her apple off the tree.

Sutton smiled, "That's you baby Girl." She pressed the lock on Aubrea's stroller and bent down to Kendall's level. "Alright honey, mommy and Aubrea will be back after school to get you. Be good and share okay?"

Kendall looked up at her mom knowing her words meant she was leaving. Tears filled her eyes and it broke Sutton's heart, "Can't you stay?" She asked quietly.

Sutton wrapped her arms around her daughter's body, the rough fabric of her polo scratched against her arm, "I can't stay with you, baby." she pulled Kendall back and looked in her eyes, "You are going to have so much fun. You can make new friends and color pretty pictures and play on the playground." The playground idea made Kendall smile.

"You could stay and play with me, mommy." She said.

Now another mom had stopped to drop off her child and she smiled when she heard Kendall's pleas, "First one?" She asked.

Sutton looked up, "Oh. Yeah." she smiled. Sutton looked at the little boy standing next to the older woman.

The woman nodded like she was a seasoned pro, "My oldest is in high school and I have twins in 5th grade. This is Rhys." She said pushing the little boy gently towards Kendall.

The little boy wasn't shy at all. "Hi. I'm Rhys." He said putting his hand out.

Kendall looked at him, "My name is Kendall Alexandra Mercer." She said smiling at Rhys and shaking his hand.

Sutton smiled, "See honey, now you have a new friend." She said then she bent down, "I'll see you this afternoon." She said. Now Kendall seemed less clingy.

She looked up at her mom, "Ok, mommy." she said. But as Sutton started unlocking Aubrea's stroller Kendall shot out a hand, "Wait!" She said. She moved to the side of the stroller, "I wanna say bye to Aubrea."

Sutton smiled and pulled put her phone hoping for at least a candid shot of Kendall's first day. Kendall stood on her tip toes peering over at the baby. Now the infant was fully awake and blinking at her big sister. Kendall was babbling a story and petting the dark brown fuzz on Aubrea's hair. Sutton snapped a shot and smiled. "Alright honey. Aubrea has to go take a nap. Go and have a good day okay?"

Kendall looked at Sutton, "Alright mommy." Then she wrapped her arms around her mother, "I love you mama."

Sutton, who was at this point taking the separation a lot harder than her daughter, kissed her forehead, "Alright sweetie. Be good." Kendall nodded and she watched as Kendall made her way into the classroom. Her Teacher, Mrs. Richardson smiled and showed Kendall where she could sit.

In the parking lot, after locking Aubrea in her car seat, Sutton pulled out her phone and looked at the picture of her two children. She smiled as she posted it to her instagram account, tagging the comment: Nugget and her baby sister share a sweet goodbye on the first day of school. Where did the last five years go? #KendallandAubrea. Then she posted the photo and backed out from the parking spot.

**A/N: Sooo sorry it has taken me so long to post a new chapter! Feel free to smack me! :) I am still writing! I have stuff coming up that I'm excited for you all to read! Thanks for all your patience. And Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/Happy New Year! I will try and get at least one more chapter up before the end of the year! :)**


	34. Attitude Intervention

Ethan felt elated. He was almost walking completely on his own these days and could stand without assistance for longer periods of time. It was almost six months since his accident and now he helped Emma decorate the living room in streamers and balloons for Ryleigh's first birthday. It was crazy that a year had flown by so quickly. Part of her knew she was going to miss those intimate moments with her infant as she begins to get more mobile, but now that she was turning one, she knew it was getting closer and closer to that moment when Ethan would be able to walk and get around without any kind of assistance. Now the house was filled with Balloons of various colors. Emma hadn't really planned a theme for her daughter's birthday and had spent almost an hour blowing up over 100 colorful balloons. The balloons covered the floor and Ryleigh pushed them aside as she crawled to Emma's feet. She sat up on her knees, supporting her weight on Emma's legs and she made a few babble noises. Emma smiled, "Well hello there my little birthday girl. Can you believe it's been a year since you were born?" Ryleigh looked at her mom and smiled, sticking her thumb her mouth, a habit that Sutton had finally broken Kendall of. "Of course not." Emma said. She tickled Ryleigh's tummy and the baby laughed. Emma rested her forehead lightly against Ryleigh's, "But believe me," She whispered, "it seems like yesterday you came into our lives." She kissed Ryleigh's cheek and put her back on the floor.

Someone knocked on the door, but before anyone could get the door, Sutton was pushing it in, "Hey, it's just me." When she saw Ryleigh looking up at her she grinned and reached for her niece, "Hello pumpkin. Happy birthday sweet girl!" She said. Kendall pushed her way in the house and when she saw the balloons on the floor she ran over and grabbed a purple balloon tossing it in the air. Sutton looked over at her own child, "Hey." She said to Kendall, "Don't be rude. Go give Emma and Uncle Ethan a hug."

Kendall dropped the balloon and ran to her aunt, "Hi Emma." She said wrapping her arms around Emma's legs. Then she looked at Ethan who sat on the bench of the dining room table, She was able to wrap her arms around his shoulders and he returned the gesture pulling her into his body, "Hi Uncle Ethan." She said.

Ethan kissed the top of her curled head of hair, "Hey there squirt." He'd been calling Kendall squirt since she was Ryleigh's age. What most people didn't realize was how much he adored that little girl. When she'd stay the nights at their house, she'd almost always cuddle with him during movie time and always wanted him to put her to bed. But when he had his accident, he wasn't able to take her upstairs anymore. Now he was glad he was able to play with her. She ran back to the balloon she had spotted and picked it up again. She tossed it at Ethan's head and laughed when it bounced painlessly off his head. Ethan looked at her, "Hey squirt!" He said popping it back at her, "You scared me."

Kendall watched the balloon fall to the ground and covered mouth as she laughed at her uncle's words. "Oh I'm sorry." She said. Then she ran and climbed on the bench next to him.

Emma looked at her twin, "How's she doing in school?"

Sutton looked at Kendall and sighed, "It's going. It's barely been 2 weeks and she's been in trouble twice."

Emma narrowed her eyes, "For what?"

Sutton shook her head, "I don't know. Her teacher sent a note home saying she was having problems with Kendall sharing. I tried to talk to her about it but she just told me that someone tried to take her crayons."

"Did you talk to the teacher?" Emma said picking up Ryleigh who was beginning to get restless. She grabbed a half a banana and gave it to Ryleigh to gnaw on.

"Yeah. She said that a little boy at her table asked Kendall if he could borrow her blue crayon and Kendall said no they were her crayons and snatched the crayon out of his hands. When I asked Kenz about it she just said that he took her crayon from her table. I told her teacher what Kendall said and the next thing I know some other mom was making some comment about how I didn't teach my child the right values and that I shouldn't have had a baby so young."

Emma's face pinched in disgust, "Wait? What does she have to do with anything? I thought this was a Christian school. What kind of Godly comment is that?"

Sutton shrugged, "I don't know. I'm going to see how the rest of the year goes. If I feel like me or Kendall isn't being welcomed in a loving environment then I'm just going to send her to another school. This one is out of the way anyways. But it had such great reviews. I want this school to work out for her but if these people are going to judge me for being a young mother then I'll send her somewhere else. I guess that's the beauty of private schools. She isn't forced to be there."

Emma shook her head, "Can I ask you a question without you getting mad at me?"

Sutton gave her sister a look. She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed. Any time anyone said something like that she almost always knew some kind of criticism was ahead, "What?" She said heavily.

Emma looked at Kendall. The little girl was listening intently to something Ethan was reading to her from her kindle fire. Occasionally she sipped some sprite that Ethan had poured initially for himself but he didn't mind sharing with his niece. Emma looked back at Sutton, "Look. I know how much you love that little girl and I know you just want what's best for her, but are you sure Kendall is completely innocent in all of this? I know you want to take your daughter's word for truth, but she's 5 years old. She is beginning to learn that she can bend the truth and get away with things."

Sutton looked at her daughter. She thought back to all those times when jealousy had reared it's ugly head with her. Was she really making a scene in school because she craved attention? She thought. "I don't know to be honest. I mean this is the first time Kendall's really ever had to share her stuff. Ever since she was baby everything she had was hers and no one else was around to take it from her."

Emma leaned against the counter and looked at her sister, "Do you think maybe you spoiled her just a little too much? You've sheltered her for 5 years. She was never not with family. She doesn't know how to share. She's never had anyone to learn from. If someone she doesn't know takes something of hers, how is she supposed to know that it's okay? Especially now that she has to share attention at home between Ryleigh and now Aubrea. She was always the center of attention. You don't know how she's taking all of this. Maybe lashing out at school is her way of crying out for attention." Emma sighed hoping that maybe her honest words wouldn't cause Sutton to strangle her for saying that maybe there was something wrong with her perfect princess of a daughter.

Sutton looked at her and narrowed her eyes, "Well who died and made you Dr. Phil?" She said coldly.

Emma shook her head. If Sutton didn't listen to her own sister, how was she going to handle it when some stranger or her teacher brought it to her? If she didn't nip this behavior in the butt now she was only going to let it get worse. Emma loved her sister and she loved Kendall but she wasn't going to sit back and let her sister turn her daughter into a spoiled diva. "Look Sutton," She started, "You know I love Kendall but I see how she acts at home. She gets mad when you or Thayer hold Ryleigh and she acts out when Aubrea needs your attention because she's never had to fight for her parent's attention before. Especially you. You have been with that little girl since she was born and when you weren't someone else in this family was with her. Kendall is a good kid. She's a sweet heart, but she needs to learn that she has to share. She has to share her parent's now with Aubrea and she has to share her toys or school supplies with her friends."

Sutton wiped a lonely tear. Emma was right and Sutton knew that. She'd pushed it aside, hoping it was only because she wasn't used to having other babies around but now that she was acting out in school. Maybe Kendall did need a little intervention. She looked over at her daughter and then at Emma, "I just feel like everything is changing all at once. The baby, school, and Ryleigh. She's still a little girl. And I know it's not an excuse and she's old enough to understand, I just need to talk to her and I have tried talking to her. It just seems like when I think she understands something else happens."

Emma looked up at her, "These things take time, Sutton. Just keep reminding her that you love her and that it's okay to share."

Sutton looked at her daughter and sighed, "I'll talk to her before bed tonight."

Austin Redford laid in bed in the room he grew up in. It wasn't the ideal living situation for a 26 year old, but he knew being here to help his mom through her chemo. His phone beside him buzzed and he reached for it. A message from one of his only friends he still kept in contact with back in Pheonix: "Hey Austin! Sorry I've been MIA, works been keeping me pretty busy. How's your mom?"

Austin smiled and turned on his side, his thumbs flying over the touch screen keyboard of his iPhone. "Sounds like a god thing." He typed, "Mom's doing alright. The chemo is only prolonging the little life she has left. Hows life in Arizona?" He closed his eyes and put his phone on his chest. It was a few moments before it vibrated against his chest, "It's Arizona." the reply read, "Work is just work. That girl Sutton you hired has turned out to be a pretty good assistant. Addison at least likes her now that she's back at work." Austin's heart skipped a beat at t he sight of her name. Her face seemed to flood his mind and he began a reply, "What do you mean back at work?" It seemed like a decade before his friend replied, "She was out on maternity leave for a month." Austin's heart nearly stopped. She said she was getting an abortion. He thought to himself. He didn't even reply to the message. He clicked out of his messages and opened his instagram. Even though he'd spent the last year trying to get Sutton out his head his heart pounded as he pulled up her name. His finger wavered over opening her profile, but in the end he forced himself, watching the almost 800 pictures load before him. So many pictures of her and kendall loaded. But one caught his eyes. He enlarged the most recent photo she posted and his eyes scanned the tagline: Nugget and her baby sister share a sweet goodbye on the first day of school. #KendallandAubrea. His heart fluttered, Aubrea. She named her Aubrea. The babies face was soft, sweet. Her dark brown eyes looked up at Kendall and for a moment he fell in love. He went back to his messages, replying to his friend, "I'm coming back. Can I crash at your place?" He didn't even wait for a reply before he was looking up flight schedules.


	35. Ignorance isn't always bliss

"Kendall come back here!" Sutton said as she strapped Aubrea in the shopping cart. She watched as her daughter ran deeper into the store and up to a display of banana's. It was Sunday afternoon and Sutton took the girls with her to the grocery store so that Theyer could study for his test he had Monday morning. Sunday's were always the busiest. Families all stopping by to grab lunch or do weekly groceries after church. People milled around, pushing carts and dodging Kendall's obvious movements.

Kendall swirled around and looked back at Sutton, her hair followed behind, "Mom can we have banana's?" She asked picking a few up from the display.

Sutton approached her and grabbed her hand, "Yes, we need banana's but you need to stay with me. It's busy and I can't keep an eye on you twenty-four seven and shop at the same time." She grabbed the banana's and put them in her cart. "Come on. Let's go find food to bring home for daddy." She pushed the cart towards the produce department. It seemed extra crowded this afternoon and Sutton desperately tried to maneuver her cart around the people inspecting apples and bagging oranges. She stopped to grab some pears for Kendall's lunchbox when an older woman in her 70's pushed her away through the crowd unfazed by the people who stood in her way. Some would groan and move their carts and others would kindly step out of the woman's way, but she made her way through, she approached the pears where Sutton stood still holding her daughter's hand. The woman said nothing as she shoved her way into the small space. She pushed against Kendall as if to move her out of the way. The movement caused Kendall to stumble backwards, pulling on Sutton's hand. Sutton looked up at the woman and pulled Kendall back to her side, "Hey do you mind?" She said to the woman.

The older woman looked at Sutton with a glare, "I'm sorry can I help you with something?" Her voice was smug and judgmental like she'd heard some horrible rumor about Sutton but she'd never seen this woman in her life.

"You could have said excuse me instead of pushing my daughter out of the way." Sutton said in a cool and equally smug tone. She tied the bag of pears and placed them in her cart.

She was about to walk away when the woman said something Sutton couldn't help but want to respond to, "You need to keep your child in the shopping cart where she belongs." The woman said. "She doesn't need to be taking up the limited amount of space there is." Sure there wasn't a ton of space between the aisles, but there were other children standing beside there parents while they grabbed their produce. It wasn't like Kendall was making it impossible for others to get in if they needed to.

"My daughter was perfectly fine." She said, "You could have said excuse me."

The woman looked at her, "Look, keep your obnoxious child in the shopping cart where she belongs and you won't have this problem." The woman gathered her pears and started to walk off but not before turning around once more to say one last remark, "I hope you raise her to not make her mother's teenage pregnancy mistakes."

Sutton was taken aback and looked at the woman, "excuse me?" She said. She gripped Kendall's hand tighter in instinct, but let go when she realized she was hurting the wrong person. "Who the hell are you and how do you even know how old I am?"

The older woman looked at her, "Your father was my doctor. Word gets around in a small small town, Sutton. A baby at 17? Is that really what Dr. Mercer would have wanted from his perfect little girl?"

Blood boiled in Sutton's veins just at the sound of her father's name. "You don't know anything about my father or my kids. So you can dislike the fact that I had my daughter when I was 17, but how dare you take it out on the little girl who doesn't understand." She pulled Kendall's hand, "Come on baby. Let's keep going." She turned and gave the woman an ugly look. How dare she? She thought. Sure she wanted to strangle the woman right there in the produce department but what kind of example was fighting going to set for Kendall. She might have been a younger mom, but she still wanted the best for her children.

"We are beginning our descent into Phoenix Airport. Please fasten your seat belts and turn off all electronic devices." A voice over the PA system said. Austin pulled the eye mask off his face and put his seat back in it's upright position. He looked out the window at the dessert landscape of Arizona. It was certainly a different sight than the green pastures of his hometown in Pennsylvania. He looked one last time at the baby in the picture he'd saved to his phone. His heart burst with a thousand feelings. Fear, love, sadness, anxiety, joy. He watched as the photo faded to black as the phone shut off but the image was still evident in his mind. When the plane landed he grabbed his only bag from the overhead compartment and waited in the seemingly endless line to get off the plane.

The airport wasn't very full of people coming or going. His heart pounded as he found the first service station to grab a cab. He sat alone as he waited for the cab to arrive. People filed around him looking at maps and signs trying to find where they were supposed to find their belongings. Austin looked up his old friend's number, "Hey, it's me." He finally said.

"Hey! Are you here already?" His friend said.

"Yeah. I'm waiting on the cab. Have you said anything to her at all?" He said nervously bouncing his leg up and down.

"Who, Sutton? No. I haven't seen much of her. Why? Was I supposed to?" He asked.

Austin looked up as a cab pulled up, he grabbed his bag and headed out the door, "No. I'm actually glad. I need to do this. I just can't believe she lied to me." He said. The driver helped him with his bag and Austin climbed into the back seat. He looked at the driver giving him his friend's address, "Look, I'll be there soon. You are home,right?"

"Yeah. I'm here. See you soon." He said, "But hey, don't do anything too rash. Don't call her or anything."

Austin shook his head, "No I'm not. I'm just pissed she lied to me. Anyways, I'll see you soon."

"Yeah, see you soon." His friend said then ended the call. Austin's phone went back to her instagram. She'd posted a new photo since he last checked. The tiny baby in her car seat. He desperately looked at the little girl. It seemed too early to see any kind of similarities, but still his heart pulled. She said she was getting the abortion, he thought. Did she back out? No! He thought. I told her to do it. But a daughter. He couldn't help but think about her, Aubrea. His Aubrea.

"Grab those bags in the backseat, honey?" Sutton called from the kitchen. She'd just returned from the store and she had more food than she had intended on buying. But that was typical when she had Kendall with her. In one arm, she was weighed down with as many bags as she could carry and Aubrea asleep in her other arm. She dropped the bags in the kitchen and laid Aubrea in her pack and play to sleep while she unpacked the grocery bags. Kendall dragged a few light bags in with Thayer close behind, a large pack of toilet paper under one hand and several other bags in his hand.

He dropped the bags on the floor and looked at Sutton, "Hey," He said kissing her, "Successful shopping trip?"

Sutton placed a box of popsicles in the freezer and looked at Thayer, "Other than the fact that some bitchy woman had to condemn me for having a baby at 17 after she practically knocked Kendall to the ground. Yeah, it was fine."

Thayer looked at her, "Wait, what?"

Sutton sighed, "Oh yeah. Apparently my dad's patients know all about me and Kendall and the fact that I was 17 when she was born and they all seem to have an opinion on it." She felt hot tears pierce her eyes and Thayer pulled her into his arms. "What the hell do they know about me or you or Kendall to have any say on the matter?" the tears slipped down her cheek and splashed on his shoulder.

"Oh sweetheart, they don't have a say. You know that. They can all go away for all I care." he squeezed her a little tighter and she felt the tears fall faster.

"All I want is to just be a good mom. I get it. I know that being a mom at 17 isn't exactly what parents want from there kids, but it wasn't like we planned on this happening. I tried so hard to be a good mom. I tried so hard." She sobbed.

Thayer felt his heart pull. Sutton didn't deserve to be treated like this. How could people just not accept the fact that she's just as much a mother as any of them, "Baby," he said softly, "Baby you are an amazing mother. Kendall is a wonderful little girl. These people are just jealous of us. We have an amazing little family and even though things haven't always been ideal, they are getting better. So what if they disapprove? They don't know anything. Don't let those jealous bitches make you think you are anything less than a wonderful mom." Just as that moment, Kendall wrapped her arms around Sutton and Thayer's legs and Thayer broke the hug to invite their daughter in.

Sutton lifted her daughter and pressed her between herself and Thayer and she looked at her mom, "Mommy why are you upset?" Sheasked.

Sutton shook her head, "Just those things that lady at the grocery store said baby."

Kendall wiped her mom's tears just like Sutton had done so many times to her, "She was talking about me." She stated, "Am I bad girl?"

Sutton's heart pulled, "No sweetie. You're not a bad girl. People like to talk about things they don't understand."

"Like Leila's mommy at school?" She said, "Does she not like you mommy?"

Sutton shook her head, these people were going to make her five year old believe that she was some kind of horrible human being, "No baby. But you know what? They don't know what they are talking about. Leila is a sweet girl and I know she's one of your friends, don't let her mommy's words make you think that you can't be friend's with Leila, okay?"

Kendall looked at her mom, "I'm sorry her mommy doesn't like you." Then she smiled, "But I love you!" She said joyfully.

Her words made Sutton smile, "I love you too, baby girl." She said hugging her daughter. She looked at Thayer. He smiled at her and kissed her, "I love you too, ya know." She said smiling. People were going to talk and Sutton knew that. They've been talking for five years. Criticizing every decision Sutton ever made in regards to her family. But never in five years has someone came out and made comments about it to her face. The nerve of people. She thought. But it didn't matter, she was a mother and she knew she did what was best for her kids and the acceptance and love of her family was more important than the acceptance of the community.

**A/N: SO this chapter is kind of mundane and uneventful, but this actually happened to me a few weeks ago. I just embellished a bit for enjoyment. :)**


	36. No More Lies

Austin felt like he was going to vomit. Every mile he drove in his rented SUV, the familiar route, the trees, the buildings. It was like he never left. Even that billboard over the University advertising pro-life choices hadn't changed. He found a parking spot and walked the same walkway he'd taken every morning when he worked here. The building was empty. The semester was ending and most of the students had gone home for the break. But there it was. His old office, now given a girlish makeover with Addison's residence now. The office was quiet and Addison was quietly grading the last of her final papers. She looked up when she saw him there, Austin? Hey." she said nervously.

"Where's Sutton?" He said not wasting anytime.

Addison looked confused, "What?"

"Sutton!" He snapped. "where is she?"

"she went home for the break. Took her holiday pay for the week. What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to her. Do you know if she left town?" He asked. Even though he kept calm his mouth felt dry and his palms were sweaty.

Addison shook her head, "I don't know. I don't think so." She paused, "Are you okay?"

Austin shook his head, "It's fine. Thanks Addy, say hi to your dad for me." Then he turned on his heel and walked back out of the office.

Her house seemed further away than it really was. He'd practiced his speech on his head. Over and over what he was going to say to her, "How could you?" He mouthed as he drove the miles to her house, "We had an agreement, what the hell happened?" But his biggest fear was seeing his daughter's face. Looking at the baby he'd created almost a year ago. How was he going to handle that? He turned down her street and pulled into her driveway, right next to her Audi and he looked up at the front door. She was here. His heart pounded so loudly in his ears but he swallowed and pushed the door open and made his way to the door.

It seemed like centuries between the moment he knocked and the moment someone opened the door. When he looked up, his eyes met hers. Fear, anger, hurt all coursed through his veins but in the moment he looked at her it was like all time had stopped. He seemed to snap back to reality when she pushed him out the door, "What the hell are you doing here? I thought we were done. Why the hell did you come back?"

"Aubrea, Sutton. I came back for Aubrea." He spat angrily.

Sutton double backed, "What about her? Why the hell would you come back for her?"

Austin lowered himself to look her small stature square in the eye, "I came back for my daughter, Sutton. You can't lie anymore."

Sutton let out a laugh, "What? Are you kidding me? You think _Aubrea _is your daughter?"

Austin stood up and looked at her, "The last thing you said to me was that you were going to go through with the abortion. How the fuck am I supposed to know that you did? You could have flaked out or gotten scared."

Sutton shook her head, "I did have the abortion. I had the abortion because _you _told me to. Aubrea isn't your daughter. So you cam turn your ass right back around and go back to Pennsylvania because we are done. What happened between us was a mistake. But you have no ties to me anymore."

Austin shook his head, "I'm not leaving here without proof. If Aubrea _is _my daughter, I want to be a part of her life."

"If you want to pay the $500 for a DNA test go for it. But Aubrea isn't your daughter. You can take my word or you can pay for a DNA. Either way, you're not that babies father." She unfolded her arms and turned to head back inside only to run smack into Thayer, who'd been standing at the door long enough to hear her last comment. Sutton was speechless for a moment. For once in her life she didn't have anything to say when she looked up at him. She could tell by the look in his eyes that he was angry. He was confused and as the tears welled in his eyes she knew he was hurt. She shook her head, "Thayer, please?" But Thayer just shook his head and slammed the door. She was startled for a moment but turned and looked at Austin, "Do you see what you've done? God! This is my family, Austin. My fiancé, and my daughter's. How could you ruin this for me?"

Tears welled in Austin's eyes now but still anger took over, "I don't care about your family, Sutton. You did this to yourself. I didn't seek you out to ruin your life, you came after me."

Sutton shook her head, "Oh no! As I recall you talked to me first. I didn't go out looking for a one night stand. I didn't look at you and say 'Hey, I know I just met you but why don't we go back to your place and fuck the shit out of each other.' It just fucking happened!"

"It doesn't matter. You have my child in that house and I want to meet her." He said as he pushed past her reaching for the door knob.

She slapped his hand away and looked at him, "Aubrea isn't your kid, ok? You had a son that I named Harper. He was so tiny and precious when I terminated the pregnancy. But I did what you told me to do. I had the abortion and I had Aubrea with Thayer. Now if you don't want to believe that feel free to get a DNA testing, but if you'll excuse me, I have to go try and fix whatever he heard." And with that she turned and opened the door. "Thay?" She called out. The downstairs was empty. The kitchen light was off but the glow of the light over the stove. The living room was silent and empty. She swallowed hard and pushed open the door to her bedroom but it was empty. She knew he was here, it's not like she saw him leave. "Thayer, Please talk to me?" Her heart pounded. She climbed the stairs slowly, her heart pounding echoed in her head. She saw him when she pushed open Aubrea's door. He was holding her in his arms, tears streamed down his face. Sutton shook her head, her own tears falling, "Thayer." She said desperately. She moved toward him but he didn't look at her. He kept his focus so tight on Aubrea, "I don't know what to say, Thay."

"You don't have to say anything." He said softly. The babies eyes fluttered closed and he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

Sutton chewed on her thumb nail and she looked at him, "Are you mad at me?" She asked looking at him, blinking back her tears.

Thayer laid Aubrea in her crib and turned to look at her, even if he didn't say a word she could tell by the look on his face he was angry, "You lied to me." he said pushing her out of the babies room. "You lied to me and worst of all, you lied to your daughter. What the hell happened, Sutton? Did you cheat on me?"

Sutton shook her head desperately wishing to make this go away, "No. No I didn't."

Thayer threw up his hands, "No! Stop lying! Who the hell is that guy? Is that who you cheated on me with?" Sutton looked at Kendall's door, knowing she was on the other side. She took Thayer's hand and led him down the stairs.

"Let's not do this near the girls, please?" She said.

"What do you care about those girls? You lie to them but you don't want them to hear us fighting?"

Sutton looked up at him, "Truth?"

"For once, yes." he said sighing heavily.

Sutton bit her lip and sucked in a breath, "Yes. Ok. Yes. I cheated on you." Her words felt like knives, each one twisting in his side, "But you have to hear me out before you go flinging stuff around. Ok?" Thayer sighed but looked at her, "he night you stood me up and came home drunk, I freaked out. I didn't know what was going on with you and I was upset. I called Emma to see if I could crash at her place and she told me to go to mom's house. But I don't know what snapped, I saw the exit for Jack's and the next thing I know I was pulling in. I didn't go there looking for anything but some liquid medicine. I just wanted to forget the fight. I wanted to forget you standing me up and coming home drunk. I was just sitting there and all of a sudden this guy comes up to me and we started talking and I don't know. Things just happened."

"Like what?" His words were cold. You could tell he knew where this was going. Part of him didn't want to hear it but enough was enough, confirmation was all he needed, "Did. You. Cheat on me?" His words were cold as ice.

Sutton looked down avoiding his glare, "I slept with him." Her words burned even herself. She didn't want to look at him but she couldn't help it. She needed to gauge his feelings, or at least protect herself from flying debris. His hands slammed against the wall knocking a photo off. She jumped when the glass shattered on the floor. She knew that it would only get worse if she told him the entire story. If he knew about Harper and the sabotage to get pregnant with Aubrea, he'd for sure kill her. "I'm sorry, Thayer. It was wrong and I know that. Please don't be mad."

Thayer leaned against the wall and he looked at her. Her face was red and she looked beaten down. Even if he wanted to feel sorry for her his anger wouldn't allow him. "Don't be mad, Sutton? You fucked another guy and you don't want me to be mad?"

Sutton's eyes filled with tears again and she took a step back, "Thayer, I don't know what to say?"

"Just answer me one question." He said looking down at the ground. His breathing was heavy now and nostrils flared with every breath he took.

Sutton looked up at him hopefully, "Yes, anything."

"Is Aubrea mine?" His words were almost inaudible, like the mere thought of Aubrea not being his could kill him.

Sutton took a step towards him. Her hand laid on his forearm but he yanked it away, "Of course she's yours." At least this wasn't a lie. Aubrea was his daughter.

Thayer nodded once then looked at her, "You really aren't that different from your mother are you, Sutton?" His words slapped her in the face. His comment was brutal but it was true. She always wanted to know why someone could cheat on a loyal and loving spouse, but that was exactly what she did to Thayer.

"Thayer, I'm sorry. I know it's wrong, I was upset and I wasn't in the right state of mind." She begged him.

Thayer looked at her, "So what Sutton? You slept with him? That's it?"

Sutton bit her bottom lip. She knew she had to tell him about Harper but she knew if he ever found out about that it would be the end of everything, "I love you, Thayer." She said but he shook his head. "That's it, Thayer, I swear. Please don't be mad."

Thayer shook his head, "I am mad, Sutton but I love you. I love this family and I haven't been the best father or lover to you and Kendall. I've put you through shit and you somehow found a way to forgive me."

Sutton nodded, he had a point. She might have cheated on him, but he kidnapped his daughter and almost had her killed. "So you aren't going break up with me?"

Thayer looked at her. Her bottom lip quivered and her face was filled with fear. For the first time he could really register the remorse in his fiancé. He took her hand and pulled her into him, "I'm mad, Sutton but I love you so much and my girls are everything to me. I'm not going to break up with you, but I need to know that that's all that happened."

Sutton chewed her lip, that aching feeling that somehow he was going to find out about Harper gnawed at her stomach. She looked up at him and he knew a bombshell was about to drop, "That's not everything, Thayer but if I tell you, you're going to kill me."

"Tell me." He said angrily. "No more lies."

"I slept with Austin and got pregnant with his child." She said slowly.

It was a long moment before he ever said a word to her, "So Aubrea's not mine?!" The thought of his daughter not being his slowly killed him.

Sutton shook her head, "No, no. Aubrea is yours. I swear!"

"So what Sutton? If Aubrea's mine, what the fuck happened?"

Sutton shook her head. In the silent moments between their words, she could hear little footsteps coming down the stairs. Sutton looked up at Kendall who stood halfway up the stairs, her American Girl doll in her hands, "Hi sweet heart, did you have a good nap?"

Kendall stared at Sutton and Thayer pushed past her, lifting his arms towards his daughter, "Come here, baby." But she just looked at him.

She looked at Sutton, "Mommy why are you and daddy fighting?"

Sutton looked at Thayer and for a moment they silently agreed to push the problem away, "I'm sorry honey. Come here." She reached out for Kendall and lifted the little girl off the stairs.

Kendall looked at him, "Mommy is daddy going to leave again?"

Sutton looked at Thayer then at Kendall, "I don't know baby, ok? Mommy made a big mistake and sometimes not all mistakes can be forgiven."

"But daddy made mistakes too. Didn't you forgive him?" She looked at Thayer, her blue eyes piercing his brown ones.

"Yes, honey. But-"

Thayer looked up, "I do forgive mommy, sweetheart. Mistakes can be forgiven when you care about people. Ok?" He took his daughter in his arms and hugged her tightly. He looked at Sutton. Even though he told Kendall he forgave her she knew that he was still livid about everything that happened.

Kendall looked up at Thayer, "I love you daddy and I know mommy does too. Please don't fight anymore, it scares me."

Sutton's heart sank at her daughters words. "I'm sorry baby. We won't fight anymore, ok?" She reached over and pushed her hair behind her ear. Her daughters were everything to her and she would do anything to keep this family together.

Kendall smiled, "Ok." She looked up at Thayer and hugged him, "Don't go away okay, daddy?"

Thayer smiled, "I'll never leave you baby." then he kissed her, "How about we go check on Aub's and get ready for dinner?" Kendall smiled and jumped off his lap, running up the stairs. He looked at Sutton, "This isn't over." He whispered. She swallowed hard and watched them disappear up the darkened staircase. She relaxed when they were gone and closed her eyes unsure of how she was going to get through this. But maybe burying it for another could be helpful.


	37. A Moment With You

Rain poured on the wood covering, little drips dropped on Emma's head and she looked up. She scooted closer into the darkness and looked down, "What's wrong?" She said panic. She looked across the darkness at her twin sister. The air was stale in the rain and leaves crunched under Emma's feet every time she moved. She wrapped her zip up hoodie tighter around her body, trying to block out the brisk wind that came in with the rain. It wasn't like their usual meeting place to pour down rain.

Sutton shook her head and looked up at her sister, "I can't do this. I have to get out of here." She said pushing back tears.

Emma shook her head in confusion and put her hand on Sutton's arm, "What are you talking about? Do you not want to talk here? We can talk tomorrow." She said calmly soothing her sister's upset.

Sutton shook her head, "No. Don't go. Stay here with me." She pleaded.

Emma reached out for Sutton and pulled her into her arms. Leaves crunched under Sutton's feet as she relaxed into her sister's embrace, "I won't leave you." She said running her hand over her sister's perfectly curled hair. "What's got you this upset you needed to meet here?" She said looking around the old place. It was dark and impossible to make out anything but her twin sister and the space seemed more cramped now.

Sutton shook her head, "I messed everything up. My life, my family." She brought up a hand to wipe away her tears and she sat up and looked at her sister, "How could I be this stupid?"

Emma shook her head, her gentle face searched her sister's, "Mistakes happen, Sutton. You had no clue."

"But things happen for a reason. Why did I have to get pregnant with Harper? Why did he have to die?" She took a minute to gather her breath and then she looked up at Emma, "He was my son." She said it so softly it was almost inaudible.

Emma's heart fluttered thinking about her nephew. As a mother she could feel for her sister. She had no idea how she'd be able to handle what Sutton had been through. She looked at Sutton and pushed back a lock of curls, "I know that, Sutton. He loves you and I know you love him. He understands that sometimes we have to make sacrifices for our family."

Sutton shook her head, "No! I killed him! I killed him so that I didn't have to face the consequences and now Thayer's going to know everything. How is he going to feel when he finds out I killed a baby to have his baby?" She shook her head at her own words like she couldn't believe she was even saying this, "I've done a lot of stupid shit in this life, but this is by far the worst. I know he's going to kill me or worse, leave me. Take the girls and disappear."

Emma rubbed her sister's arm, "Sutton, calm down. First of all, have you told him what happened?"

Sutton looked down, "Not really. I mean not about Harper. He knows about the affair, he knows I got pregnant but he doesn't know I had an abortion."

"Does he know about Aubrea?" She said. She moved her foot underneath her and settled into the cold ground. Her jeans were going to be muddy but she didn't mind.

Sutton shook her head slowly, "I told him she's his daughter." She said sniffling.

"Well she is." Emma said nodding slowly.

Sutton looked up at Emma, "Yeah, but he may not believe me. On top of all of this, Austin came back. That's how this all started. Thayer overheard my conversation with Austin about his baby and he immediately suspected that Aubrea wasn't his daughter."

"Wait!" Emma said putting up a hand, "Austin just showed up at your door wanting to talk about Harper?"

"No. He saw a picture of Aubrea and assumed it was his baby. Even though I told him I was going through the abortion."

Emma moved her hand to Sutton's and rested it on her sisters, "Did he know that you actually had the abortion?"

Sutton shrugged her shoulders like she could careless, "No. But what does it matter? I told him I was doing it."

"Well in all fairness, how was he supposed to know you didn't get scared and not do it?" Her fingers gently rubbed the skin between Sutton's thumb and forefinger.

Sutton thought about this. If she only saw a picture of a baby that was born around the time her baby should have been born, how was she supposed to know it wasn't her baby? Maybe Emma had a point. She hated when Emma had a point but she looked up at her twin, "I guess he wouldn't have."

"And Aubrea isn't too much younger than Harper would have been if he was born. He freaked out, Sutton. He has every reason to believe that Aubrea could be his daughter. You and I both know she's Thayer's, but he has a right to find out for himself." Emma said.

Sutton shook her head, "No! Now you're taking his side. This isn't about him."

"I'm not taking his side, Sutton. I'm just simply stating that he isn't doing anything that any good parent wouldn't do. What if it was his daughter? Wouldn't she deserve to have her dad in her life?" Emma said. She picked up a stick and broke it in her hands and tossed the two pieces aside.

Sutton drew in a sigh. All she ever wanted for Kendall was to have her father be in her life. She felt more confused then she ever did before. She looked at Emma, "Of course. But her dad is in her life. Austin isn't her father."

"I know that. But Austin doesn't. I am just saying that his coming back is completely understandable. I know that it brought to life things you thought you buried when you agreed to have the abortion and Austin left. But these things can't be buried forever. Even if Austin never found out about Aubrea and didn't come back, somehow Thayer would have found out about the affair."

Sutton nodded in agreeance. She knew that Emma was right. Even if Austin never came back someone or something would surface old mistakes. She knew this all too well after everything that had happened between Ted and Kristin and Rebecca. Their lives alone were mistakes that Ted and Rebecca probably wished never happened, at least Sutton terminated her mistake. But then a thought left a lump in her throat and she blinked up at her sister, "Em, what if mom wanted to abort us? I mean you and me, we are Harper. We are the consequences of our parent's mistake. We were never supposed to be born."

Emma nodded, looking down. Now the rain had stopped and the sun shone through the cracks in the wood, "I've thought about it. I mean, she wasn't fit to be a mom. Why wouldn't killing us be the perfect solution?"

Sutton brushed off dirt from her perfectly white slacks and looked at Emma, "She did make a comment at the abortion clinic when we were there."

Emma looked up, her brown eyes locked with her twin sisters, "What did she say?" She pushed her thin straight hair behind her ear.

Sutton looked down at her feet, "I don't know," She shrugged, "She just said something about having to hear his heart beat. It was like she knew that they were going to do that."

Emma shook her head not understanding, "That's not anything surprising, Sutton. You could find that stuff out online."

Sutton looked up at her twin, "I know that!" She said like Emma thought she was stupid, "But the way she said it it was like, I don't know," She swallowed hard, "Like she's been there. Like maybe she tried to abort us but wasn't strong enough to go through it?"

Emma shook her head, "Is it terrible of me to not be surprised by that? I mean she's Rebecca after all."

Sutton laughed, "No. I mean I wasn't too shocked either. But maybe Thayer's right. Maybe I'm not that much different than Rebecca."

Emma shook her head, "No. You're not anything like mom. You haven't killed anyone to keep the secret of your mistakes a secret."

Sutton chuckled, "Not yet at least."

Emma looked up at Sutton, "Don't joke like that."

"Sorry," Sutton said letting her smile fade. "But the point is that I went behind Thayer's back and slept with another man."

Emma looked at Sutton searching for the right thing to say. She knew that if she asked her to meet her here it was for a good reason and she needed her sister. She swallowed, "Look, I'm not condoning what you did. But in all honesty, Thayer drove you to do this. He was the one who skipped out on your date, he was the one who came home drunk and he was the one who forced you out of your house. If he had just gone with you on your date none of this ever would happen."

Sutton shrugged, "No, but if I'd gone to mom's or even better your place instead of stopping at that bar, I never would have met Austin and we wouldn't have slept together. Look, we can try and pin this on every outside source possible but the truth is I made the choice to sleep with Austin. I made the choice not to use protection. I let this happen. I deserve to lose my family and I know that I will as soon as Thayer finds out about the abortion. We know first hand what an affair and lies can do to a family." She shook her head and felt hot tears pour down her cheeks. The thought of losing her family broke her up so much she didn't know what she was going to do. Those girl's and Thayer meant more to her than anything in her life. She had never known love could be so deep until those girls' came into her life and she never would have had that kind of love if it wasn't for the love she shared with Thayer. Losing that, even the thought, devasted her.

"I don't think you deserve to lose your family, Sutton. Those girls love you and they need you. But what you did to Thayer may take time to heal if it ever does. But confessing it is the first start. Even if it hurts and it's hard, telling him everything is better than bottling it up and never speaking about it ever again."

Sutton swallowed hard, tears poured down her cheek and she tried to calm her breathing, "I know but I can't. I just can't!" She said through her tears.

Emma shook her head, "You have to Sutton. You have to for your family."

Sutton looked at Emma she was right, her family needed her to come clean and confess her wrong doings. She reached out for her sister and pulled her into a hug, "Just promise me you won't leave me?"

Emma shook her head against her sister's shoulder, "I'm not leaving you. Never."

Sutton smiled when she pulled back and looked at her sister, "We may be meeting here again real soon."

Emma smiled and looked around at the small clubhouse they'd built when they were much smaller, "Maybe we should talk in our conscious state." She laughed then she gave her sister's forehead a kiss and pushed open the scrap piece of wood that served as a makeshift door and with that she was gone.

Sutton took a last look at the place they'd shared so many memories, was this really the last time they'd meet in this place? She wondered. In a way it was bitter sweet to say goodbye to a place that was almost like home and even if she had real life Emma, she was going to miss the dream depiction of her twin sister. She blew a kiss to the clubhouse, "Goodbye old friend." She said then turned and made her way back to reality. A place that she wasn't ready to face just yet.


End file.
